10-03-2024, 05:36 AM
If you're open to hearing my opinion about forgiveness...
Your approach to it - to not "forgive and forget" - is something that I did exclusively until a few years ago.
I think the logic was that I was witnessing people "getting away with" all of their foibles and dumb choices. Not truly getting smacked in the face by life.
Therefore, *I* would hang on to their foolishness in my memories. And as long as I could hang on, then there was a chance at real justice.
But realistically, no practical good would come from it.
One potential solution - to meet in the middle - would be to create a written record about peoples wrongs, and to only consult with it whenever you're offered to make arrangements with others. That way, you can be reminded of ways that they might spoil that arrangement.
There is an assumption that reveling in your feelings of non-forgiveness will "right" some cosmic "wrong", when in reality that's not what happens.
All that happens is that the events - and related feelings - are bouncing around in your mind, when something more useful and productive can bounce around there instead.
Something that I wrote in my notes in the last 10 days: "The event only happened once, yet you've lived it a thousand times so far."
It means to say that (the general) *you* - your mind - is replaying the events, trying to squeeze every last bit of indignation (perhaps) out of it.
Forgiveness is more about accepting that it happened once. Becoming wiser from the transgression means that it will never happen again. Wisdom does not need to be fueled by indignation.
Your approach to it - to not "forgive and forget" - is something that I did exclusively until a few years ago.
I think the logic was that I was witnessing people "getting away with" all of their foibles and dumb choices. Not truly getting smacked in the face by life.
Therefore, *I* would hang on to their foolishness in my memories. And as long as I could hang on, then there was a chance at real justice.
But realistically, no practical good would come from it.
One potential solution - to meet in the middle - would be to create a written record about peoples wrongs, and to only consult with it whenever you're offered to make arrangements with others. That way, you can be reminded of ways that they might spoil that arrangement.
There is an assumption that reveling in your feelings of non-forgiveness will "right" some cosmic "wrong", when in reality that's not what happens.
All that happens is that the events - and related feelings - are bouncing around in your mind, when something more useful and productive can bounce around there instead.
Something that I wrote in my notes in the last 10 days: "The event only happened once, yet you've lived it a thousand times so far."
It means to say that (the general) *you* - your mind - is replaying the events, trying to squeeze every last bit of indignation (perhaps) out of it.
Forgiveness is more about accepting that it happened once. Becoming wiser from the transgression means that it will never happen again. Wisdom does not need to be fueled by indignation.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
