OGSF 5.9G

[User_000]

I'm getting more and more free of guilt, even remembered some emotions I used to feel toward specific things that aren't considered appropriate for example that I enjoy violence, but not indiscriminate violence, something instinctual maybe, like getting more in touch with my inner beast which kills everything it can (or at least it feels that way and also my first thought is killing like in one dream when some people get into my house at night to perform some ritual and I just thought about killing them), that doesn't mean I'm willing to do that at mental level, maybe that's why I tried so hard to suppress that instinctual part of me but as Shannon explained before I'm already an adult and know better ways to deal with life so it's like I have a leash around the dog haha, I just hope I'm not breaking the rules talking about this.

Also I'm considering that my obsessive thoughts about me getting killed or something is a kind of punishment, I don't know exactly for what, maybe regret or shame.