OGSF 5.9G | Ultimate Man

[GreekGod22]

Day 3

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

I have this long-lasting struggle to find happiness. That's why I engage in destructive habits like negative self-talk, or porn/ masturbation. 
Logically, I should be happy with myself and my life. I have a well-paying job, a loving girlfriend. And she does make me happy and I enjoy time with her for sure.
It's like I am totally conscious of my traumas, my patterns of escapism, but can't actually overcome them, they keep running me. That is frustrating, spinning in circles.