OFv3 5.75.7G - Fear Nothing

[RTBoss]

You ran 10 loops of hybrid?

I did.

The story continues into last night.  I felt good going to bed, and didn't feel the need to run loops, so I didn't.  Then, I had a series of dreams, all with the same theme, that dug up very real skeletons.  The dreams seemed to suggest that no matter what I do, exposing them to the world is inevitable - and that damn near caused a panic attack.  I had to get up, go downstairs to my couch, and start hybrid loops.  I ran two before switching back to ultrasonic and going back to bed - so it took over two hours for me to calm down enough to get back to sleep.  

I had no idea that was such a deep, subconscious fear of mine.  Now I know.  I will very likely be using more loops (the more powerful hybrid track), more often, for the near and foreseeable future.

[NOMAD]

Then, I had a series of dreams, all with the same theme, that dug up very real skeletons.  The dreams seemed to suggest that no matter what I do, exposing them to the world is inevitable - and that damn near caused a panic attack.

I've had some experiences with very similar undertones. OFv3 seems to be closing the gap between the face I present to the world and who I really am. That scares me. I had forgotten about some of my "skeletons" until recently, which suggests that at the very least, I'm going to be brought face to face with things that I've kept buried for a long time.

[Kol]

Then, I had a series of dreams, all with the same theme, that dug up very real skeletons.  The dreams seemed to suggest that no matter what I do, exposing them to the world is inevitable - and that damn near caused a panic attack.

I've had some experiences with very similar undertones. OFv3 seems to be closing the gap between the face I present to the world and who I really am. That scares me. I had forgotten about some of my "skeletons" until recently, which suggests that at the very least, I'm going to be brought face to face with things that I've kept buried for a long time.

Same here.

[Shannon]

Very fortunately, the current programs are powerful enough to make this kind of progress.

[RTBoss]

Ran some daytime loops of hybrid today. My wife could hear the trickling stream, and always comments about how "annoying" it is. Though annoyed, when I came into the bedroom, she made a comment about how she didn't get to have an orgasm the other night when we had sex. So I locked the bedroom door (kids were downstairs), and she didn't object.

OFv3 was playing the entire time. I lasted twice as long as usual (and my wife had multiple orgasms, yeah buddy!). I'll have to see about replicating this, but if I was a betting man, I'd bet OFv3 had something to do with that.

Awesome side effect!

[Shannon]

Saweet!

[ncbeareatingman]

Though I Love the heaven outta UMSv2....yawl are so damn lucky to be running OFv3, I swear. even when it doesnt feel like it...and I know its not all a primrose path,even still.... wow.. how fortunate. I still think about OFv3,at least 3 times a week. IM on the journey with UMSv2 and will definitely stick with it...however when the time comes next year,sometime, its OFv3 like a muther. kudo's, accolades, and lemonades Dudes!! More power to ya's!!

[RTBoss]

Ya, Keith - you can conquer ALL fear after you have accumulated some major moolah in your pockets!

Last night, I must have had some more tough dreams. I don't remember them, but at one point when I woke up, my back was literally dripping sweat. I wiped my back with my hand, and it was covered. The next time I woke, I was completely dry.

[RTBoss]

Wow, I think I actually just took 3 days off w/out listening to OFv3. I needed a break, but usually I feel the need/desire to listen. That hasn't been the case the past few days. Even last night, as I lay in bed, I thought, "Nah, don't have the desire." That said, it'll be back to it tonight.

I've been quarrelling with my wife a bit the past few days. We're in high-stress/bust-your-ass mode. I alluded to "Big Changes" earlier, and I can now say what it is. Almost two months ago, we sold our house, and then bought a new one. Literally doubled our square footage - and our mortgage payment. That said, we're very exciting and moving in two days. It's been a lot of work, and I'm not typically a guy who like big changes like this (especially as I get older), but I'm dealing. I'm also getting pretty excited, now that most of the work portion is over.

Back to the quarrel - I don't work like my wife does. If she's working, she expects you to be, too - on her schedule. I march to the beat of my own drum. I do things when I do them, how I do them. Instead of giving in to her, I stood my ground, despite how pissed she was. I doubled-down on my position, and told her that I work on my own schedule, my own way - if you don't like it, "Tough shit, and fuck off!" Suddenly she's kissing my ass and treating me like royalty. Lol, kinda funny how that worked.

[RTBoss]

Ran 10 loops of US yesterday.  Felt really good.

Had the strangest dreams - very different than usual.

• I was invited into a very futuristic aerospace company to apply for a job, and in order to move on, had to endure a rigorous mental and emotional examination.  I was instructed to ride along in the cockpit of a very technologically advanced jet.  The speed at which we traveled was incredible.  The pilot made impossible turns and took routes that would make the most experienced flyer shit their pants - yet I felt no fear.  The company, monitoring my brainwaves, knew I felt no fear, and so I was invited to join their top secret program where I was then asked to accomplish morally questionable missions.  This is where the mindfuck of the dream began, as I wasn't sure if I was actually supposed to complete the mission, or if I was being tested on my morality.  I suspected that if I completed the mission (killing the target, whatever) that I would fail the test.  Yet, I was being told that if I did not complete the mission, I would be expelled from the program...
  

• The second dream I recall I was in a police station.  I observed a classroom filled with police cadets, and the instructor was visibly tired and world-weary, whereas the rookies were excited and soaking up every word she said.  Strange.  Then I was asked if I was there to enlist, and I skirted the question, stating that I was there waiting for a friend.  I then walked through some doors that were for officers only, again feeling no fear I was doing something wrong, and because I walked around with authority, was not questioned if I belonged there.  I was then again approached by the recruitment officers and they gushed about how I should apply, because I would be perfect for the job.
  

[RTBoss]

Sorry, guys - long time, no update.  

Been very busy.  We moved on the 26th of last month, and it was a bear.  The movers we hired were terrible.  My wife and I were simultaneously loading our cars and going back-and-forth between homes, so we didn't notice that the guys left 3 TVs behind (still on the damn walls), as well as missed an entire room above the garage.  We were supposed to be out by 2 PM (haha, like that was going to happen) and didn't finish until 8 PM.  We had the new owners and our agent breathing down our neck the entire day.  Thankfully our old neighbors saw what was happening and helped us out with their truck.  That's the most I've spoken to them in 5 years, which is too bad, as they're really cool people.  We are planning on keeping in touch, and will probably have them over once things settle down.

Moving on (see what I did there?  ), along with twice the house comes twice the mortgage.  That worries my wife, but I'm not concerned at all.  Probably because OFv3 is helping me with that, but also because the cryptocurrency space has been very, very good to me.  I'm now making 5x what I have made doing part-time personal training the past 8 years.  I've never made this much money on my own.  For those of you who can afford to, look into Strongblock.  They reward people who purchase and run nodes (that are located many places around the world - decentralized).  Nodes cost 10 $STRONG tokens, and eventually you'll need an NFT (I have 3) to start running a node.  Right now I'm running 10 nodes, which earns me 1 $STRONG per day - and $STRONG is currently trading anywhere from $215-300.  I just reinvest and make new nodes, buy other crypto, or pay myself when the token price is high.  Soon, I'll be making 6-figures from Strongblock alone, and that doesn't even include all the other crypto I've accumulated.  

After this run of OFv3, it's on to UMSv2.  I can't wait to see how running that manifests more changes in my wealth.  My goal is to make enough that I can travel more, work from a beach, and let my wife go from fulltime to casual hours (if she wishes).  

Regarding other fears, I haven't really had any lately.  I've always avoided phone calls and talking on the phone, and now if I need to call someone I don't know, it's no problem.  Sleep is good, I'm starting to get more interested in eating healthier, working out, etc.  Hopefully by this time next year, I'll be back in great shape.

I did get a bit nervous talking to my neighbor's wife the other day.  Not sure what that's about.  But I'm aware not all fears are being worked on simultaneously, so it'll get taken care of in time.  

That's all I got for now.  Hope everyone is well and taking good care of themselves.

[RTBoss]

Quick update:

Been thinking about how I used to run DMSI 3.1 starting with a hybrid loop, followed by 2 masked loops. I think I'm going to do something similar tonight, mixing formats - all FLAC. I don't know why, but it's a thought that's been reoccurring all day. (Okay, I suspect Autoconfig, but not sure that's how it works.)

I also seem to have lost some of my filter, not that it was great before. Whenever I see a girl I'm attracted to, I'll say something out loud - even when my wife's there. I guess I'm doing it a lot, because today I was asked, "So am I just not enough for you?" I compliment my wife whenever possible, but apparently my comments are wearing her down. It's also possible that removing fear is upping my value - always a good thing.

[ncbeareatingman]

All I can say upfront is that RT ,Man yer killin it Man. I've read and re-read quite a few of your posts from over the last 2 months 'er so....and keep up on them ona regular,sicne you started this OFv3 journal.
Has your wife been impressed enough by you & your changes , to use it on her own as well? do you think she will?

[RTBoss]

All I can say upfront is that RT ,Man yer killin it Man. I've read and re-read quite a few of your posts from over the last 2 months 'er so....and keep up on them ona regular,sicne you started this OFv3 journal.
Has your wife been impressed enough by you & your changes , to use it on her own as well? do you think she will?

Good question.  I think the answer is no.  I'm personally never satisfied with stagnation - never have been.  I'm always looking to change or improve some aspect of myself.  For my wife, it's a little different.  I've always utilized tools like meditation, visualization, dream boards, crystals, self-improvement books, web research, hypnosis, and subliminals.  She is much more traditional - ie, go to school, get a high-level degree, get a high-paying job, buy a bigger house, lol.  She reads books, but for fun, not information.  Even after seeing changes in me, or even herself (through being exposed while in bed together), she doesn't attribute those changes to subliminals, or doesn't care.  Shannon is very aware of this.  

He and I would be very surprised, and happy, if she were to decide to run a subliminal by choice!

As always, thanks for stopping by Keith!  Hope your continuing run on UMSv2 is going great.