OF4 - Frosted

[Frosted]

Woke up feeling somewhat well rested, but also tired af. I can tell big shifts are happening. Focus still heavily on money. I’m thinking of going into sales if enough of this fear dissipates.

[Frosted]

In one of my earlier post there might’ve been some confusion. By dream demon, I meant paralysis demon the kind you get when you half wake up and can’t move your body.

Anyways had a deep sleep again and woke up feeling slightly better than most days. We’ll see how it goes :-).

[Frosted]

I’m starting an affiliate marketing course right now. Hopefully I can stick to it!

[findingme]

You have me very curious about OF4 since you've been on numerous subs of Shannon's. I'm on LTU6 currently (started this week), and am going through the mental and emotional adjustments currently.

My reason for LTU6? A stronger FRM. As I've used subs for the last 6 years or so, I too have felt held back by core and longstanding fears. I wish life to be "simple", which means living and being without big or small mental roadblocks at nearly every decision. I'm tired of living there, yet I realized (while writing) that my messy, foggy thinking is done by me to obscure fear from my awareness. Like a subconscious survival strategy.

So, I've been watching your journal. I pulled back from using OF4 thinking I'd be overwhelmed by old fears rising up (like on OF2). I actually expected the same mental overwhelm. I've heard nothing of the sort, so I'm baited.

[StridingStrider]

You have me very curious about OF4 since you've been on numerous subs of Shannon's. I'm on LTU6 currently (started this week), and am going through the mental and emotional adjustments currently.

My reason for LTU6? A stronger FRM. As I've used subs for the last 6 years or so, I too have felt held back by core and longstanding fears. I wish life to be "simple", which means living and being without big or small mental roadblocks at nearly every decision. I'm tired of living there, yet I realized (while writing) that my messy, foggy thinking is done by me to obscure fear from my awareness. Like a subconscious survival strategy.

So, I've been watching your journal. I pulled back from using OF4 thinking I'd be overwhelmed by old fears rising up (like on OF2). I actually expected the same mental overwhelm. I've heard nothing of the sort, so I'm baited.

Fear is the mind killer. Go for it!

EDIT: Y'know. I resonate with what you say about foggy thinking. Brain fog. I've had it all my life. I think you're right. It's fear clouding everything.

[Frosted]

Same thing with the brain fog type effect for me as well, guys.

@findingme LTU6 is an awesome subliminal. Probably my favorite sub I’ve ran to date. Enjoy the journey man!

In other news, I was inspired to make a post due to your post:

Month 1 Cycle 3 day 1

The past few days have been hard. I’ll get intense fears that overwhelm me in certain ways. I’m able to, what I call, “tread water”, with these experiences of fear. Meaning I’m able to observe and slowly untangle from these fears but the process can feel tedious. If the fear is the water, then I am barely keeping my head above the water, but the water is somewhat turbulent, but forcibly calm (to varying successes) and slowly draining. If I get impatient at certain times when I’ve triggered large fears a large wave or series of waves can get triggered and throw me off balance, causing the water to become even more turbulent before I have to forcibly calm it again after re-centering myself.

But mostly the things I’m working through since I started OF4 has been the big stuff. The stuff that was triggered durning my SM3 run 5 years ago. The deep rooted stuff like sexual fear and fears surrounding… I don’t know what to categorize it, but like my emotional needs that weren’t met from my mother and my absent father, and that were exacerbated by my peers. Some other deep stuff that isn’t coming to mind and stuff I can’t easily categorize. But basically the deep stuff.

There are times throughout the day where I kinda just lay there and process it all for a bit. It helps. Often I’ll shed some tears during this process. LTU6 coming in clutch with that post-run healing!

Sorry to keep it metaphorical. I wish I could get into specifics but I prefer not to because when I start to analyze the details of what OF4 is doing in the moment it triggers my tendency to overthink and it messes up what OF4 is doing, so I go with the flow and execute instead. Plus my memory isn’t very detail oriented to begin with.

P.S Still sticking with the marketing course. I have a product to sell and I have my avenue of generating traffic. Just gotta learn how to use the platform I’ve chosen and some odds and ends about affiliate marketing.

Edit: There’s also good results I’m not sharing. It’s easy to post about the turbulence I’m going through rather than the bunch of small good changes that happen. Those are easy to forget about compared to the “negative” stuff. Basically overall OF4 is helping me slowly remove the internal obstacles towards the path and person I want to be. Also noticing a ton of LTU6 residuals come about within me as OF4 clears the debris.

For example: I now have a basic skincare routine, got a haircut, and bought good shampoo and conditioner for my hair type.

[Frosted]

I upped the volume to 9/16 on my iPhone instead of 8/16. So far after waking up I feel better than normal. I think it’s working.

[Shannon]

So basically, it's a slow and steady progress, but even with regards to the biggest and deepest stuff, it's still progress?

[Frosted]

So basically, it's a slow and steady progress, but even with regards to the biggest and deepest stuff, it's still progress?

Pretty much. It’s actually impressive OF4 is even doing that honestly. It’s gaining traction on fears that had LTU6 at an impasse with certain things. When I say it’s moving slow that’s relative to what I perceive OF4’s “normal” pace with me to be. In the grand scheme of things the speed could be considered extremely fast.

[Shannon]

So basically, it's a slow and steady progress, but even with regards to the biggest and deepest stuff, it's still progress?

Pretty much. It’s actually impressive OF4 is even doing that honestly. It’s gaining traction on fears that had LTU6 at an impasse with certain things. When I say it’s moving slow that’s relative to what I perceive OF4’s “normal” pace with me to be. In the grand scheme of things the speed could be considered extremely fast.

Good stuff.

[Frosted]

I just woke up and I’m feeling dizzy. I’m pretty sure this is from the fear removal process.

Yesterday I finished reading the second “Wheel of Time” book “The Great Hunt”. I was not expecting that book to be so heavy. The depiction of slavery in that book chilled my bones. It caused me to dig deep and see why I was so affected by it. I had a lot of entangled fear and toxic shame and I empathized with the slaves and their loss of freedom. The slavery in that book didn’t involve rape or anything like that. In fact it was all really “civilized”. The scary thing is the depiction of the loss of freedom and identity and what it does to a person.

I can’t wait to be done with fear so I can move on to healing my deep toxic shame and emotional wounds.


Edit: I forgot to mention, my migraine symptoms have been coming on a bit here and there and with constant observing, I’ve decided that the headaches/migraines I’ve been dealing with lately (and probably most of the time, besides) have been caused by fear. I started getting these migraines around the time I hit puberty.

Edit 2: Another thing: I had a dream last week that should have been a nightmare, but turned out to be a good dream filled with joy. It’s the first good dream I can remember having in years. The rest tend to be neutral, just plain weird, or some variation of nightmare.

[RTBoss]

Great series. I've read it once, my wife 3x!

Glad OF is doing you good.

[Sky]

I just woke up and I’m feeling dizzy. I’m pretty sure this is from the fear removal process.

Yesterday  I finished reading the second “Wheel of Time” book “The Great Hunt”. I was not expecting that book to be so heavy. The depiction of slavery in that book chilled my bones. It caused me to dig deep and see why I was so affected by it. I had a lot of entangled fear and toxic shame and I empathized with the slaves and their loss of freedom. The slavery in that book didn’t involve rape or anything like that. In fact it was  all really “civilized”. The scary thing is the depiction of the loss of freedom and identity and what it does to a person.

I can’t wait to be done with fear so I can move on to healing my deep toxic shame and emotional wounds.


Edit: I forgot to mention, my migraine symptoms have been coming on a bit here and there and with constant observing, I’ve decided that the headaches/migraines I’ve been dealing with lately (and probably most of the time, besides) have been caused by fear. I started getting these migraines around the time I hit puberty.

Edit 2: Another thing: I had a dream last week that should have been a nightmare, but turned out to be a good dream filled with joy. It’s the first good dream I can remember having in years. The rest tend to be neutral, just plain weird, or some variation of nightmare.

The Wheel of Time Series is my favorite. I'm trying to move on to non-fiction books now to learn more about what I can improve in terms of knowledge. Have fun reading!

[Frosted]

Thanks for the encouraging words guys! Form the first few chapters of the first book I could tell it was going to be a great series. Only problem I have so far is the pacing. But at least in book three— so far—the pacing seems to have picked up, and book 2 wasn’t as bad as book 1 with pacing so I’m guessing it’ll keep speeding up.

Just had multiple dreams, fear related. They were nightmares, but they were downgraded to almost normal dreams. I’m guessing this is because of OF4. One was where I was in a horror movie I was also watching at the same time somehow. There was some kind of horrible monster that was unpredictable. I kept looking away at the worst parts.

Another was similar to the first. in the dream there was this spider like monster chasing a few people including myself and we would run away while it chased us like we were playing some twisted game of hide and seek. We were kind of in this playground type area where there was slides and other playground things and it would always seem to be right around the corner chasing me. And I could never get far.

There were more mundane dreams in between like me riding in a van with some woman driving. She had the vibes of a therapist, a parental guardian, and Moraine from “Wheel of time”. We didn’t say anything and I was focused on overcoming the tension inside me. I kept wondering what this person thought of me.

After this dream the rest of the mini dreams were relatively peaceful.