AM7 - Frosted

[Frosted]

I was wrong about the baseline. It got even better today by a very wide margin. All the intense dreams are likely due to the massive amount of change I’m experiencing. It’s basically every night still. The dreams were so intense last night… and now I woke up today feeling like a new man. I’m going through rapid metamorphosis, perhaps i am reaching some kind of tipping point…

[Frosted]

Note to Shannon:

The results I’m noticing might be lopsided in integration. Like how cleaning muck in a tube using water will help clear it out, but not get all of it. Or how gold liquid gold might get caught in pools rather than being evenly distributed. I still think in the end it is getting to the parts that are less done, but some are parts are improving faster than others.

Also there’s a thing where results kind of “rest” which tied in to the previous point. The relaxed good vibe I feel, when aired out like a carpet, seems to “activate” better. It was still there in the background, just not fully activated.

I noticed this after doing some vocal exercises where I felt great afterwards and could tell that it activated results I’ve already gotten from your programs. This might not be something to improve in your program if it’s something that should only come from concsious integration or something.

I don’t know if I explained what I wanted to explain, in helpful and accurate manner. If you have any questions feel free to ask and I’ll try my best to answer.

[Frosted]

*Field report*

6.5-7hrs sleep, feel exhausted and foggy today.
Drank health drink
25 minutes metta
Clear mind kombucha
70% dark chocolate
30-40 minute shower

After my morning routine felt better, but still an undercurrent of tiredness.

Did Owens “stretch it out” and “merge with the word” exercises on the car-ride there. Helped me get out of my head. Listened to music as well and focused on enjoying myself with the chocolate, kombucha, and the scenery as much as possible (drive to from my town to the next is beautiful).

Anxiousness underneath, but trying to reassure myself all I have to do is say hi to an attractive girl. That’s it. Doesn’t even have to be a good hi. Just a drive by hi is fine for now. Mind wants to play it over and practice and problem solve and think of what will go wrong.

Said hi to a butch girl. Not super attractive or ugly. Not my type. Under average in universal attractiveness I’d say. But to be fair I didn’t know she was unattractive until after I said hi while passing. I still had to push past my fear to get out an awkward “hello”.

Was kinda dissatisfied since my goal was say hi to someone I was attracted to.

Notice walking around the store waiting for the “perfect” opportunity. It doesn’t really happen very often. There’s been a few times where I could’ve gone out of my way a bit but didn’t cause I hesitated.

Now I’ve gotten multiple opportunities but haven’t out of excuses.

I’m back in the car now. I noticed I didn’t want to let myself feel the win for saying hi to the butch girl, but the fact is that I did what I set out to do technically (I didn’t know she wasn’t my type until after I already said hi and got a better look at her).

I feel deflated, like the work I’ve done on myself isnt real. The fact that I can’t do something as simple as say hi to a girl without anxiety makes me feel inadequate. Was already tired, but after that spiral of anxiety and shame I feel depleted and foggy. I’m gonna go home and rest.

Towards next session it kinda feels pointless. What’s the next step? Say hi to like 3-5 girls? I feel like there’s no out. Like it’ll just keep feeling anxiety and pushing out with no end in sight. I don’t see a path to victory with the current trajectory.



Subliminals will help, but that’s long term and it’s a waiting game. On my own power through external action I don’t feel an out. I’m kinda limited in time, money and location. There’s almost nobody around here and that adds a layer of pressure to not build a reputation as the weird guy who approaches people. I want liscence to practice freely without worrying about the fallout if I mess up.

I don’t just want to rely on these Subliminals anymore. I’ve been feeling this for awhile now, but what have I done other than Subliminals? I need to actually integrate with the world and work on producing results through my own action rather than just passively waiting for the Subliminals to solve all my problems. The technology is amazing, but that’s not an excuse to sit on my ass and wait to be carried.

[Frosted]

Went to another grocery store and said hi to an attractive girl immediately. Was surprisingly easy. Feel way better suddenly lol

[Frosted]

I'm gonna add to this, cause the second post undersells how good the flip was. After I said hi to the attractive girl I suddenly felt amazing. By the time the day was over, with the kombucha/dark chocolate, the fact that I went out and did something I set out to do, and the fact that I spontaneously bought stuff for family members, on top of my baseline being high from all the work these subs have been putting in, I felt awesome. Today was a good day, even if it was a bit shaky in the middle. It just goes to show how biased the brain gets based on mood. I wrote a bunch in that 1st post when I was feeling negative and down. Afterwards when I felt great, I barely wrote two sentences.

[Frosted]

Just walked outside with the fog and the streets completely dead silent. It's deep into the night, early into the morning. Nobody in sight. Only the occasional car every few minutes. The led lights bloom from the fog as I walk down the street, hearing the ocean caress and then abate into the silence, over and over. I feel different. More alive. More free. Life feels less like a play with a loose script, and more of a freeform soup of experience.

As I walk down the street I notice how comfortable the inside of my body feels. How I kind of just want to relax into it. Take it all in. I notice tension, like I always have. But the familiar tension is smaller than I remember. More of a background presence. Less of a ball and chain, and more of a glass ceiling, tonight.

Suddenly the town that feels uncomfortable in the day feels like a nourishing home. The bushes and flowers on the side of the street suddenly feel... magical. The air feels magical. I'm reminded of forgotten childhood memories. Cherished memories of books. The old Christmas I spy book I read in the library in elementary school. The Magic Treehouse book I read at home, in the middle of the night, when everybody was sleeping. The memories of peaceful, ecstatic silence. The kind of peace and excitement that comes from Christmas morning, before you're told that Santa isn't real, and before your parents started giving you socks for Christmas.

It's 4am as I'm typing this. Listening to the birds chirping out my window, and the occasional car driving by in the distance. I'm so thankful things turned out this way. These times wont come back.

[Shannon]

Or maybe they'll become more your norm?

[Frosted]

Or maybe they'll become more your norm?

Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. Life's going to keep getting more and more awesomer. I'm just saying that that specific experience itself won't come back.

[Frosted]

Wrote this post something like 1-3 days ago and forgot to post it:

Btw I never mentioned this, but my new job is great. AM7 stage 0 seems to actually be pushing me to take action. I'm working 12 hour days 6 days a week and making good money. My expenses are low. I'm doing metta meditation every day. I'm getting out of my comfort zone and approaching people once a week. And I bought a training for social skills (I've been watching Owen Cook's content for a decade but never took action on it until now). I'm gonna go to the free tour very soon as well.

And of course on the internal, things are getting awesome. I'm noticing a lot of awesome things I can't quite articulate right now. I'm definitely noticing a smoothness and an increasing comfort in general. There's friction too, but overall it's an upward trajectory. Really like stage 0, it's really bloomed in this last month.

And of course the intense dreams are still happening every single night.

[Frosted]

I’ve gotta say this is the most responsible I’ve ever been. I’m able to just do the stuff that’s important for my goals. I go to bed early when I need to, work more for my goals, and keep up the habits I’ve deemed top priority. It’s like necessity = action. Now, I still can’t do certain things like clean my room or do my old taxes (I got 500$ that’s probably going to never get claimed by me), but I’m able to keep up meditation every single day because somewhere in my mind meditation = essential, whereas the clean room and free money are “nice to haves” and my ADHD doesn’t give a fuck about that.

Edit: also lots of insecurity/vilnerabilities. Stuff being worked on.

Edit 2: I’m on my last cycle of stage 0. 4 months done! Stage 1, here I come!