07-04-2020, 02:21 AM
Round 2 - 4 nights out of 6.
I am feeling emotionally heavy, that is a good way to describe it.
My girlfriend and I were able to make up properly before we left each other, you know, leave each other feeling much better about everything that happened. I eventually saw how I could have prevented the tension escalating (even starting) between us, which involves me being more thoughtful, empathetic and punctual... to name a few. It's a learning experience.
I feel that normal things are kinda coming up, entering my mind here and there, they are not excruciating, and I am finding it easier to change my mind to something else. But when they do pop into my mind because of what I am thinking about, I do have a moment of "ah that is still there". Rereading this I just realised I called them "normal things"! damn, that says it all.
I am doing what I can each day related to a few "wants" or "goals" of mine, nothing crazy and OCD like, as I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. Making things too organised makes me uneasy. For example, I would never do a spreadsheet or plan every day for the next 6 months or year. I do have a general idea where I want to go in that time frame though, I just like flexibility so I can move.
One of the things I am waiting for so I can take some actions in a certain direction are the final grades that I will be getting in about 10 days or so. Once that is confirmed and I have officially got my place at the University, I can then start looking up houses for renting with my girlfriend, and visiting the area to check them out, which will be quite exciting indeed, as I will be moving out of my parent's house and starting my own life pretty much near the other side of the country. Once I have gone, I intend to not come back this way for quite some time as I intend to reinvent myself and fulfil even more of my potential.
I am feeling emotionally heavy, that is a good way to describe it.
My girlfriend and I were able to make up properly before we left each other, you know, leave each other feeling much better about everything that happened. I eventually saw how I could have prevented the tension escalating (even starting) between us, which involves me being more thoughtful, empathetic and punctual... to name a few. It's a learning experience.
I feel that normal things are kinda coming up, entering my mind here and there, they are not excruciating, and I am finding it easier to change my mind to something else. But when they do pop into my mind because of what I am thinking about, I do have a moment of "ah that is still there". Rereading this I just realised I called them "normal things"! damn, that says it all.
I am doing what I can each day related to a few "wants" or "goals" of mine, nothing crazy and OCD like, as I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. Making things too organised makes me uneasy. For example, I would never do a spreadsheet or plan every day for the next 6 months or year. I do have a general idea where I want to go in that time frame though, I just like flexibility so I can move.
One of the things I am waiting for so I can take some actions in a certain direction are the final grades that I will be getting in about 10 days or so. Once that is confirmed and I have officially got my place at the University, I can then start looking up houses for renting with my girlfriend, and visiting the area to check them out, which will be quite exciting indeed, as I will be moving out of my parent's house and starting my own life pretty much near the other side of the country. Once I have gone, I intend to not come back this way for quite some time as I intend to reinvent myself and fulfil even more of my potential.
