My OGSFv2 (5.11G) Journal

[GreekGod22]

So I've been using OGSFv2 since the beginning of September. I previously did OGSFv1 for 4 months and OF3 for a month. this year.
I did 6 ON days so far. Didn't notice anything different until yesterday. I was very comfortable in a social situation, and the person I was with noticed how calm and confident I was. Same thing today at the gym. Really felt at ease, relaxed and also felt a "rush" of  confidence from within.

The good thing is that I don't think I am resisting the sub. With OFSFv1 and OF3 I felt more resistance, that I don't feel anymore.

40min/ day played at 6/16 volume on iphone.

[Shannon]

Sweet! Should be interesting to see your first "off" cycle.

[GreekGod22]

Yesterday, it dawned on me that I still have some shame around my sexuality, even though I wouldn't consider myself shy anymore in bedroom, when it comes to being sexual with a woman. I guess, there is something that still prevents me from fully letting go and being totally uninhibited sexually.
I would also have shame around watching porn and/ or masturbation, I feel like a loser every time I do it because it's an unproductive activity, and that time would be better spent  in other ways, or releasing that sexual energy with a woman. Which is true. I suppose once I let go of the shame, I will have a healthier relationship with myself.
I also met another woman that made a comment on how confident I appeared to be.

Today starts my first OFF cycle.

[GreekGod22]

Feeling good about myself lately, happier.
I went on a date last night with a really attractive woman, at first I was a bit nervous because of her beauty, but eventually I became really comfortable and enjoyed her presence. We ended up kissing, some foreplay too. I could tell that she was really attracted to me, and was comfortable discussing sexual topics.

[GreekGod22]

Sweet!  Should be interesting to see your first "off" cycle.

Feeling quite good during these OFF days. Self confidence and optimism about life rising.
For a long time, I considered myself physically unattractive and that was a major cause of apathy/ depression in my life. Might also be because up until the age of 25, I was very shy, antisocial, loner. In the last couple of years, I've been hitting the gym, working on maximizing my looks. And things did get better. I started having success  with women, I started getting more compliments that I look good, that I'm handsome. But that insecurity still remained there.
I am now 32 years old. I've been with many more women than the average man. I wanted to prove myself that I am worthy, I am wanted. I now regularly get compliments for my looks. And I'm starting to believe them. My self image is surely changing.

[GreekGod22]

On to my 2nd ON cycle. Looking forward to what’s coming to me.
I felt pretty good during the OFF days, but on my last day, yesterday, I was more melancholic.
Motivation, energy are on the rise.

[GreekGod22]

Woke up at 4AM this morning and pressed play on my loop. I eventually fell asleep again and it ran the whole 60m instead of 40m. I had some dream flashes involving silly/ random fears.

[GreekGod22]

Experiencing diminishing desire to watch porn as a means of emotional escapism. That’s great.

[GreekGod22]

On to another OFF cycle.
This has been a difficult period for me, because of what's happening in my personal life. Me and my ex-GF are no longer together since July, and it has been difficult to accept.
The good part is that during the last ON cycle, I started becoming painfully aware of some past mistakes, I'm able to see reality as it is/ was, to recognize that I could have been better.
I have a few health issues to work on, and also to continue on the path of becoming a better man.
I've avoided facing my problems for so long.

[GreekGod22]

Still going with OGSF, still following the standard recommended listening schedule. The past couple of days/ weeks have been tense, I realized all the mistakes I've made in my relationship, and that I lacked relationship experience.
I turned 33 yesterday and have only had 2 long-term relationships.
I've also had to accept the flaws that I had as a man. I've been too insecure in my masculinity.
I've got a lot of work to do to build myself a better, more complete man.

[GreekGod22]

Reduced the number of OFF days by 1.

[GreekGod22]

8 days ON - 5 days OFF last cycle.

[GreekGod22]

Life keeps going. Nothing dramatic or very different has happened. Decided to try the Hybrid format today.
I started OGSF2 on September the 1st. So if I were to stick for the whole 6 months, that means I will be running the sub until the end of February 2024.

[GreekGod22]

2 weeks ago, I had a wisdom tooth extraction done by an oral surgeon. I delayed the procedure 2 times, probably due to fear, but also inconvenience and avoidance of pain.
My wisdom teeth were impacted, so they would only cause complications in the future and eventually decided to remove them.

Today, I had the same procedure done for my other 2 remaining wisdom teeth. I didn’t delay my appointment this time. I just went  through with it. My fear levels were much lower.
I’m now glad I got it done.

I notice that lately I’m becoming more decisive, less likely to procrastinate or delay things.  Calling up loved ones, setting up appointments. I simply do it, with less fear or anxiety.