05-05-2018, 05:59 AM
I read somewhere in the forum how running E2 can be addicting. That would be an interesting experience. I will see how I feel as time goes by if I decide to go beyond the 180 days. I grew up with incredibly toxic as well as mentally & emotionally unhealthy parents & step parents. I never really understood why I had so many of the same issues over & over again in my life until I started reading about narcissism & the traits & characteristics of emotionally unhealthy people. One of my earliest memories is watching my Mother & Father fight. I recall this endless back & forth blame game especially on my fathers end. Guy had been remarried for several years & was still blaming my mother for various wrongs in his life. I saw my father & step mother spend money they didn't have & listened to the sound of the telephone endlessly ringing usually with a bill collector calling or the electric company knocking on the door to either get a past due payment or as in two cases , temporarily shut off the power.
I saw & heard my parents & step parents say & do some of the most toxic , hateful, self sabotaging things . My step father always acted like I was a problem to be gotten rid of. He used to beat on me for the smallest of issues . Usually something related to me somehow being a bad influence on his children from a previous marriage. He tried twice to have me sent to a foster home. Both my parents & step parents seemed to have no problem questioning my intelligence growing up. I was told I would be lucky to graduate high school. Never mind I was the first kid in the family to do so on time & with extra credits. I could go on but as you can see I've got quite a bit inside me I wish to eliminate before I take the journey towards AM.
I saw & heard my parents & step parents say & do some of the most toxic , hateful, self sabotaging things . My step father always acted like I was a problem to be gotten rid of. He used to beat on me for the smallest of issues . Usually something related to me somehow being a bad influence on his children from a previous marriage. He tried twice to have me sent to a foster home. Both my parents & step parents seemed to have no problem questioning my intelligence growing up. I was told I would be lucky to graduate high school. Never mind I was the first kid in the family to do so on time & with extra credits. I could go on but as you can see I've got quite a bit inside me I wish to eliminate before I take the journey towards AM.
