I don't know what decision to make right now.
I'm enjoying what OF is doing (most of the time, when emotions aren't being stirred up atleast). Especially socially, when it comes to training and fitness stuff and gradually confronting some things, and there are times mostly when i'm out somewhere cool or socializing that i'm just happy and enjoying the atmosphere. Like when I went for a walk to a scenic place with some friends, and just geniunely enjoying socializing and holding my own.
But it's not like i'm 'bulding' anything. My own business stuff I haven't done much work on, slowly lessened it after stopping LTU. An unexpected option come up training martial arts again in that a few other people are coming, and I started it for my own training but one of them suggested with the time i'm spending planning it that they would give donations for the sessions.. but I don't really want to monetize it past that, as it's mainly for my own training.
And the main part.. due to 1984 type circumstances (to go with how Have At Ye said it, without going into detail) and me refusing to go along with some bs, my second source of income will be gone soon which is a bit less than half of my income. So when I realized this today the urge for UMS V2 started coming up, combined with the thought that things will very likely be getting worse here and that I need a foundation of income that doesn't require me to have a normal job and that can be outside the bs.
I muscle tested it and on TWO seperate levels it told me to stop OF and do UMS. Which brings up weird conflicts.
Sometimes on OF when emotions were coming up I wanted to do UMS instead, but now that I get a more substantial push towards it and confirmation on muscle testing I really don't want to, and depression and fear are suddenly coming up.
Mostly of what I could lose. I'm enjoying the developments of OF though they are subtle, and am afraid to lose what i've developed in my friendship group, with martial arts training and a few other things if UMS totally shifts my mindset towards money and I possibly lose interest in both of those things.
And fear of who I might become, somebody who is just interested in money and nothing else and reading the description thoughts of maybe I won't even want to go and see friends, go out to dinner or whatever.. and I don't want that to happen, as with all the bs going on it's great to have a support group who are likeminded.
But on the other hand with the speed that things seem to be going downhill in ways that George Orwell would spin in his grave about.. can I really afford atleast another 3 months on OF and just allowing these subtle changes, or more likely more than 3 months because with the level of fear i've had in my life I don't think 6 months would be enough.
I'm surprised the huge amount of sadness that is suddenly coming up around this, I haven't fully made the decision but it really brought up these after I realized it's likely best to goto UMS, and since muscle testing is telling me I don't think it's resistance.
To go along with that, I muscle test regularly to shift things i'm doing for my health. And for literally 6+ months it constantly was telling me to do OF, starting with V2 and then V3 when that come out.. I kept ignoring it because of fear, but it kept coming up again and again and again.
So after doing this so long i've learnt to trust it, but I still sometimes question it and it doesn't make sense why.. I predict if I don't goto UMS the same thing will happen in that it will keep telling me the same thing.
I'm enjoying what OF is doing (most of the time, when emotions aren't being stirred up atleast). Especially socially, when it comes to training and fitness stuff and gradually confronting some things, and there are times mostly when i'm out somewhere cool or socializing that i'm just happy and enjoying the atmosphere. Like when I went for a walk to a scenic place with some friends, and just geniunely enjoying socializing and holding my own.
But it's not like i'm 'bulding' anything. My own business stuff I haven't done much work on, slowly lessened it after stopping LTU. An unexpected option come up training martial arts again in that a few other people are coming, and I started it for my own training but one of them suggested with the time i'm spending planning it that they would give donations for the sessions.. but I don't really want to monetize it past that, as it's mainly for my own training.
And the main part.. due to 1984 type circumstances (to go with how Have At Ye said it, without going into detail) and me refusing to go along with some bs, my second source of income will be gone soon which is a bit less than half of my income. So when I realized this today the urge for UMS V2 started coming up, combined with the thought that things will very likely be getting worse here and that I need a foundation of income that doesn't require me to have a normal job and that can be outside the bs.
I muscle tested it and on TWO seperate levels it told me to stop OF and do UMS. Which brings up weird conflicts.
Sometimes on OF when emotions were coming up I wanted to do UMS instead, but now that I get a more substantial push towards it and confirmation on muscle testing I really don't want to, and depression and fear are suddenly coming up.
Mostly of what I could lose. I'm enjoying the developments of OF though they are subtle, and am afraid to lose what i've developed in my friendship group, with martial arts training and a few other things if UMS totally shifts my mindset towards money and I possibly lose interest in both of those things.
And fear of who I might become, somebody who is just interested in money and nothing else and reading the description thoughts of maybe I won't even want to go and see friends, go out to dinner or whatever.. and I don't want that to happen, as with all the bs going on it's great to have a support group who are likeminded.
But on the other hand with the speed that things seem to be going downhill in ways that George Orwell would spin in his grave about.. can I really afford atleast another 3 months on OF and just allowing these subtle changes, or more likely more than 3 months because with the level of fear i've had in my life I don't think 6 months would be enough.
I'm surprised the huge amount of sadness that is suddenly coming up around this, I haven't fully made the decision but it really brought up these after I realized it's likely best to goto UMS, and since muscle testing is telling me I don't think it's resistance.
To go along with that, I muscle test regularly to shift things i'm doing for my health. And for literally 6+ months it constantly was telling me to do OF, starting with V2 and then V3 when that come out.. I kept ignoring it because of fear, but it kept coming up again and again and again.
So after doing this so long i've learnt to trust it, but I still sometimes question it and it doesn't make sense why.. I predict if I don't goto UMS the same thing will happen in that it will keep telling me the same thing.
