Magnus' journal

[Shannon]

Surprisingly i was still very sober at the time.

So was talking witha female friend today who i havent seen in a while and was amazed at how comfortable i was just being.completely open and honest.about everything im doing at the moment. It was a feeling like i have nothing to hide

Feels awesome, doesn't it? It gets better.

[Magnus]

Sure does its actually a very freeing feeling not holding anything inside

[Magnus]

So i suppose i should put down all external results big or small. So the last couple of days ive had peiple randomly talking to me. Today i had this girl come up and start chatting to me. She introduced herself then everything i said she would go on this long story about some experience she had had and kept asking me questions. The funny thing was she was quite good looking but i was in my head to cate about what she was saying

[Ryan]

Sounds like some good success, Jimbo

Ryan

[Magnus]

So finished up stage 3 and thought I would give a bit of a summary

The good

* Less needy
* More open and honest with people
* Not giving a shit most of the time
* More respect for myself and looking after myself more
* Eating better
* Being approached sometimes by women
* Feels good chatting to good people I know
* Improved body language
* Improvement in sense of style and wanting to look good
* Not trying to impress people as much
* Feeling that i'm OK some of the time
* Less interest with being around people who don't have a good sense of self esteem and don't treat me with respect

The Bad

* Confidence took a nose dive in the last few weeks
* Lowered mood and negativity around life
* Less able to enjoy the little things in life and have fun playful conversations with people
* Increase in social anxiety and anxiety around women
* Lowered motivation

I have also been of anti depressants for 2 months now and am going to wait till stage 5 before I consider whether to go back on them or not when I can judge if some of my mood has been because of AM or because of other circumstances.

[Ryan]

Are you on ADs for depression or anxiety?

Ryan

[Magnus]

Was on it for both anxiety and depression. Although these days more depression than anxiety and its a very light depression more than the servre depression ive had in the past

[Ryan]

Have you ever talked to your doctor about these "addon" drugs like Welburtin? I'm on a small dose weening off ADs, I don't like the extra effects and I find these "addon" drugs to be better because they lack side-effects and are non-addictive. I'm on one of these for anxiety too and I no longer like the regular AD. I hope to get off the regular and stay on these ones very soon.

Then again, the Gratitude sub helped me get out of my depression.

Ryan

[Magnus]

Thanks Ryan

Ill have a chat to them about the "addon" drugs. Ive heard about wellburtin but unfortunately im allergic to on of the chemicals in it.

Im not a fan of regular ADs at all and the side effects apart from mood boost and social anxiety decrease ive found to be quite bad at times.

Thats awesome man might think about running gratitude soon as well ive seen some good feedback on it

[Magnus]

So ive figured out where some of my resistance is coming from with AM. AM seems to be pushing me to get out more the issue is I dont have a lot of friends I can head out with and at the moment im feeling a real lack of confidence when I do head out though I start to feel better even with a lack of confidence

[Shannon]

If you don't have a lot of friends, a good way to socialize without having anyone else there is to simply be in public around others and let yourself get comfortable with the surroundings and just being around others. Once you're comfortable, and you have started noticing that some people are regulars, it will be natural to simply talk to people, or have them talk to you, and from there it's pretty easy. That's how I do it.

[Spiral]

Thanks Ryan

Ill have a chat to them about the "addon" drugs. Ive heard about wellburtin but unfortunately im allergic to on of the chemicals in it.

Im not a fan of regular ADs at all and the side effects apart from mood boost and social anxiety decrease ive found to be quite bad at times.

Thats awesome man might think about running gratitude soon as well ive seen some good feedback on it

Just look at Ryan's and I's journals. Trust me when I say "It's one of the best things you could do for yourself no matter who you are."

[Ryan]

Jimbo, try pushing yourself more and more each week. I remember when I started my journey I was terrified to go out on my own. So one day after Christmas, I had a bunch of gift cards and I wanted to use them. At this time I didn't have friends I regularly hung out with. When I went on my own to the mall it was intimidating because the place was PACKED. After walking around, I got more comfortable and decided it was a good idea for me to do this regularly to get used to being out on my own and not being so self-conscious about it all.

I ended up going to the mall 1-2 times a week and just walked around, got some lunch, visit a store or 2 and then left. Just to get comfortable doing so and talking to the employees if I felt like it. After that, I was visiting Starbuck's, not going through the drive through but the lobby, I became a regular they always knew me. Book stores are good too, just go out and read at the book store or library on your own. After that, work up to going out to a bar alone. If you don't feel like conversing, you don't have to, but just feel comfortable being out on your own. It doesn't matter if you talk or don't, it's all about not caring. You'll start conversing more and more over time. It takes time and with the further sets, you'll get there quickly.

Ryan

[Shannon]

Jimbo, try pushing yourself more and more each week. I remember when I started my journey I was terrified to go out on my own. So one day after Christmas, I had a bunch of gift cards and I wanted to use them. At this time I didn't have friends I regularly hung out with. When I went on my own to the mall it was intimidating because the place was PACKED. After walking around, I got more comfortable and decided it was a good idea for me to do this regularly to get used to being out on my own and not being so self-conscious about it all.

I ended up going to the mall 1-2 times a week and just walked around, got some lunch, visit a store or 2 and then left. Just to get comfortable doing so and talking to the employees if I felt like it. After that, I was visiting Starbuck's, not going through the drive through but the lobby, I became a regular they always knew me. Book stores are good too, just go out and read at the book store or library on your own. After that, work up to going out to a bar alone. If you don't feel like conversing, you don't have to, but just feel comfortable being out on your own. It doesn't matter if you talk or don't, it's all about not caring. You'll start conversing more and more over time. It takes time and with the further sets, you'll get there quickly.

Ryan

Yes, exactly what I do/have been doing lately. The other day I went to a local bar alone. I don't go to bars but rarely, and never alone until then. SM 2.0 made it vastly easier to go, but I still felt some nervousness walking in, although it was easily overcome. I walked in, sat down at the bar, and then had dinner and a couple pints while playing the trivia game they had going that night. By myself, competing with groups of 8-12 people, Team Ultra (me) ranked 3rd place, and I won a $20 gift certificate that night and my tab was only $19.64. I also had a great time. Didn't talk to anyone but a long time friend, but I got out, and I made progress.

Baby steps. Social anxiety and approach anxiety stem in large part from non-familiarity. You need to become familiar with the places and the people in them. Eventually, socializing becomes the new norm, and familiarity isn't as important.