10-11-2017, 01:14 PM
So the days have been pretty cyclical. The tiredness is real, one day of resistance, one day of high energy, but for the most part, just tiredness.
An odd thing about taking full responsibility for my actions is the fact that I enjoy my work now. I still have the same job, but I don't dislike going in now. It's an interesting thing. Maybe one of the missing elements of my life all these years was the failure to take responsibility and the belief that nothing will change. And in fact, nothing will change until you change.
MLS is working its slow but steady pace. Order of priorities and planning are getting better as well as my ability to think quick and think at all during debates. Had a debate at work and did really well. Usually, I dislike debates because I can't think of points or counterpoints fast enough to stay with the flow of conversation. This time I was in control of the conversation. An interesting side effect worth noting, but definitely not the main point.
Also, I have stopped thinking subs are the magic bullet to life. MLS is simply some instructions to follow, not the reason I do anything, that is my end. Ultimately I'm the one who chooses to execute or not execute the sub, and I'm the one who chooses to go through the process of better execution by going through resistance and choosing to change how I approach life. Subs are merely a means to an end. Shannon is big on free will so these subs will never do anything for you, you have to choose to cooperate. The odd thing is how to make those choices. I have attempted, for lack of a better term, to take control of execution instead of choosing execution. It took a lot of mental energy and I really didn't get any results. The art of allowing is a real thing and I'm not fully sure how Chaos gets the results he does. The only thing I can think of is full commitment to whatever sub he's running. I think the willingness to learn also plays a factor here as well.
An odd thing about taking full responsibility for my actions is the fact that I enjoy my work now. I still have the same job, but I don't dislike going in now. It's an interesting thing. Maybe one of the missing elements of my life all these years was the failure to take responsibility and the belief that nothing will change. And in fact, nothing will change until you change.
MLS is working its slow but steady pace. Order of priorities and planning are getting better as well as my ability to think quick and think at all during debates. Had a debate at work and did really well. Usually, I dislike debates because I can't think of points or counterpoints fast enough to stay with the flow of conversation. This time I was in control of the conversation. An interesting side effect worth noting, but definitely not the main point.
Also, I have stopped thinking subs are the magic bullet to life. MLS is simply some instructions to follow, not the reason I do anything, that is my end. Ultimately I'm the one who chooses to execute or not execute the sub, and I'm the one who chooses to go through the process of better execution by going through resistance and choosing to change how I approach life. Subs are merely a means to an end. Shannon is big on free will so these subs will never do anything for you, you have to choose to cooperate. The odd thing is how to make those choices. I have attempted, for lack of a better term, to take control of execution instead of choosing execution. It took a lot of mental energy and I really didn't get any results. The art of allowing is a real thing and I'm not fully sure how Chaos gets the results he does. The only thing I can think of is full commitment to whatever sub he's running. I think the willingness to learn also plays a factor here as well.
