12-05-2012, 01:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-05-2012, 01:50 PM by LionMonkey.)
(12-05-2012, 01:30 PM)Shannon Wrote: Sex is a big deal, especially for women. Being drunk may mean "being drunk enough to make a decision I wouldn't make when I was sober". It doesn't necessarily mean she can't make tea. Her making you tea may have been a little way for her to say she cares about you.
Moving to sex that fast is a good way to destroy a relationship's potential for anything other than sex. If she has sex with you that fast, the issue of respect comes up. Does she respect you? Do you respect her? Does SHE respect her? If you want sex only, there may not be an issue. But if she wants more than sex... there WILL be an issue if you move too fast.
In the moment, her sexuality may be in control. The minute you bust a nut and walk away, she's left with... what? Feeling taken advantage of? Used? All the times people told her only sluts and whores do what she just did (or allowed to be done to her, as the case may be)? That's why she went cold afterward.
YOU made the mistake of assuming only sex was involved. You also made the BIG mistake of leaving 10 minutes later. That screams "you were just a piece of **** meat to me" in her mind. Why would she want to see you again?
If you wanted her to be interested for sex, you should have made sure she was either damaged and expected to be treated the way you treated her (she wasn't/didn't), or that you made the experience pleasurable and enjoyable for her and took her feelings and value into consideration. It appears you didn't do that either.
Hence... she concluded that she made a mistake, you only wanted a **** toy, and she wanted more than to be used for **** meat. End of story.
Shit.. You are probably right! I had a sense of it was something like that but you wrote it clear right there. This is very valuable to me, thanks man...
I did however text her,
"As said, I care for you and I am not just someone who looks after sex.. Sex is something I enjoy doing with someone I care for. Hate you for being so sweet and for making tea to me. I'm happy for the time we have had together. I think you are a pretty great girl
" "Lets do something together sometime in this week. We can meet on a café if you don't trust me
"which she replied,
"Wont you please stop contacting me? As said, I want to forget it all and it is a bit difficult when you keep writing"
me: "Yes. I'm very sorry if I have hurt you. I just don't understand..."
her: "Thanks. I am not hurt, just a bit scared..."
And then I got curious again, which was stupid and I sent her a farewell text.
What a f*** up :S
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
