08-02-2021, 03:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-02-2021, 03:24 PM by LionMonkey.)
[OF v3 - Day 12] – Seeing past the illusion & acceptance of people
Hello there!
Last night 6 loops on day 1 of our 3rd cycle.
Felt invincible after a green tea today. Passing 2 very beautiful girls while driving and talked with a young bakery girl. Although she was nice, she still had a sexiness over her and I also felt I could see her more for her than just a hot chick.
Noticed some interesting things today at my moms. Don't know how much fear-related it is but an interesting change.
Mom is a concerned person. Especially because she watches the news. She used to have nightmares nearly every night. Then she became a buddhist and prays a lot now and her nightmares haven't come back since. Although she still has a protective attitude.
She often talks about being careful about xyz and comments negatively on to lots of things I do regarding my health like it's bad to sleep late.. it's bad to not wear a mask.. it's bad to "whatever protective thing you can think of".
In the past, I've gone insane listening to her when I was living with her and I guess videogames was also a form of getting away from all the shit.
As I moved out, I became less affected by her comments but I was still trying to push against them or fleeing from them whenever I visited her.
Today I was doing neither. I let her speak out, accepted her for her and continued doing what I was doing or talking about something else once she finished speaking.
Also in the past I REALLY wanted to change her directly in many things and let her know about how B.S. the news are, how exercising will help her breath better etc. (every week I realize more and more how cheap talk is and that action is really the thing that has potential to change lives)
Today I wasn't so intense about the things she should know but rather as a normal talk and whenever she got distracted or talked about something else, I didn't feel I was holding onto something. It wasn't that important.
Now I see this as a relief as I've often felt in the past that I had to let me mom and brother know that life could be so much better and different, as if I took some responsibility over their lives. I did that because I care about them.
They would not really like it but went with it for some time to let me talk and then change subjects completely.
Today I understand more that each person is different and you can't have a direct impact on 99.99% of people. The exception is if they have sought you out for a specific solution and are open to learn. I.e. dropped their former beliefs and assumptions and completely tune in to what you have to say.
I'm getting a better feel for who a person is behind what I see on the surface and past what's going on in my mind about the person.
It's a beautiful and joyful place to come from.
Anyway.. don't know how much fear-related this is but a significant change in some aspect.
Also the nightly meditations have given me more grounding in my breathing and I'm more consistently present to the moment.
7 Loops tonight and tomorrow 1 day OFF.
Stay hungry!
-LM
Hello there!
Last night 6 loops on day 1 of our 3rd cycle.
Felt invincible after a green tea today. Passing 2 very beautiful girls while driving and talked with a young bakery girl. Although she was nice, she still had a sexiness over her and I also felt I could see her more for her than just a hot chick.
Noticed some interesting things today at my moms. Don't know how much fear-related it is but an interesting change.
Mom is a concerned person. Especially because she watches the news. She used to have nightmares nearly every night. Then she became a buddhist and prays a lot now and her nightmares haven't come back since. Although she still has a protective attitude.
She often talks about being careful about xyz and comments negatively on to lots of things I do regarding my health like it's bad to sleep late.. it's bad to not wear a mask.. it's bad to "whatever protective thing you can think of".
In the past, I've gone insane listening to her when I was living with her and I guess videogames was also a form of getting away from all the shit.
As I moved out, I became less affected by her comments but I was still trying to push against them or fleeing from them whenever I visited her.
Today I was doing neither. I let her speak out, accepted her for her and continued doing what I was doing or talking about something else once she finished speaking.
Also in the past I REALLY wanted to change her directly in many things and let her know about how B.S. the news are, how exercising will help her breath better etc. (every week I realize more and more how cheap talk is and that action is really the thing that has potential to change lives)
Today I wasn't so intense about the things she should know but rather as a normal talk and whenever she got distracted or talked about something else, I didn't feel I was holding onto something. It wasn't that important.
Now I see this as a relief as I've often felt in the past that I had to let me mom and brother know that life could be so much better and different, as if I took some responsibility over their lives. I did that because I care about them.
They would not really like it but went with it for some time to let me talk and then change subjects completely.
Today I understand more that each person is different and you can't have a direct impact on 99.99% of people. The exception is if they have sought you out for a specific solution and are open to learn. I.e. dropped their former beliefs and assumptions and completely tune in to what you have to say.
I'm getting a better feel for who a person is behind what I see on the surface and past what's going on in my mind about the person.
It's a beautiful and joyful place to come from.
Anyway.. don't know how much fear-related this is but a significant change in some aspect.
Also the nightly meditations have given me more grounding in my breathing and I'm more consistently present to the moment.
7 Loops tonight and tomorrow 1 day OFF.
Stay hungry!
-LM
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
