LTU5

[Zubrowka]

I started to think about how I see different subliminals here on IML fit for different life situations:

E3 - if you need to get your emotional and mental health together
LTU - if you want to get your life, including your emotional health, together and find out what you want from life and start working toward it
AM - if you have your shit pretty much together but want to boost your life, your success and your attractiveness even more and see what you really are capable of achieving in life 
WM - if you have your life and yourself together and want to become a ladies man
SM - if you have your life and yourself together and want to get laid, big time
DMSI - if you want to get laid
UMS - if you have you life together and want to boost your ability to make money

[Zubrowka]

LTU has done a big bit of improvements for me during these months I have been running it, the situation right now is as follow:

• I still have anxiety that come and go, I don't feel "at peace" really
  
• I still feel anxious sometimes when working and that I lack energy 
  
• I still feel a bit out of direction and don't feel like I'm moving forward at the pace I want, mostly limited by my own anxiety and limits in energy
  

As it feels now, I'm willing to do the investment in LTU6 when it comes out as I have still some work to do in improving my mental and emotional health and if LTU6 can make it happen in half the time LTU5 can, I see the investment as justifiable.

[Zubrowka]

Really looking forward to LTU6 with it's ARA. I love music and listening to music, but as soon as I start doing anything like DJing or playing piano the anxiety sooner or later pops up and ruin the whole joy of it.

[Zubrowka]

Sometimes I can't stand my moms presence. Seriously. Wherever she goes she always want something from someone. You can't just be allowed to be. And if you don't answer to whatever she ask she get agitated, hurt, whatever bullshit. And I don't feel very well, and I don't have energy to partake in everyone of her suggestions and ideas. Her emotional well-being is not my responsibility, sorry but that's above my paygrade and honestly ability at this moment. I'm must focus on putting myself together and she is stealing my energy just to satisfy her own needs on some way or another..I've learned that over time. I don't think that she is able to empathize in the words true meaning, but she can only try to make people feel better by her own idea of what that mean, but she isn't able to understand what someone else is truly feeling, as she can't stop for a minute and shut herself off for a minute and feel into what someone else is feeling and what they need, without involving her own needs, that seems to be utterly impossible to her. F*ck off.

[tolgaocal80]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...ic-mothers

Take a look at it. And if you suddenly say yourself, no she cant be like that, she always want best for me, etc.. but feel like shit about her, most probably she is, just saying. I know because I got one

[Zubrowka]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...ic-mothers

Take a look at it.  And if you suddenly say yourself, no she cant be like that, she always want best for me, etc.. but feel like shit about her, most probably she is, just saying. I know because I got one

Hi man,

Thanks for sharing. Yeah I've had my turns with reading into the concept and often gone through the phases of "yes this is it" to "no it can't be true" (often based on some kind of guilt). But the patterns always come back and show themselves in her behavior and this is the only thing I can go on to be sure. She probably suffer from that, and even if I care about her, I despise her at times. But the only lesson is that you need to learn that is OK to learn to take care of yourself, no matter how she will react to that. But that is highly associated with fear, and I'm being ruled by fear still after all years of work on myself and with IML products. But it's slowly improving. The new FRM maybe will speed up the process.

EDIT:
Damn - much of the things in this article actually fits my history.

[tolgaocal80]

Indeed, "quilt shame and fear" the most dangerous three word, I will give them a special treatment when OF, OGSF 5.75G or 6G came,
But this is very hard and you just can't act without dealing with a mama got this kind of illness, especially as a son, for me I think my problems with females all are attached to this. But I am sure this subliminal stuffs will work perfectly soon.
Rather than FRM, a OF or OGSF sub with latest FRM makes more sense to me. We will see that how they will work.

İf you found about yourself in this article, read more, this thing is as like taking Redpill from vein, :-D

[Zubrowka]

As always.... I go through a really tough patch before emerging on the other side. The other night was one of the darkest ones really. My mother haven't really been a bad parent to be honest, sure she can be a bit self-centered from time to time and throw tantrums, but she isn't a bad person and I don't hold anything to her. Sometimes my perspective just get really distorted and I usually go blaming her for all my issues.

[Zubrowka]

Had an outburst on my parents for continuously going around in circles all the time with their negativity about everything. I just couldn't stand it anymore, tired of hearing their negativ views on anything and how they just agree with each other on all the negative stuff because it seems to be the only thing they can find in common with each other. That's just being lazy and making it easy for oneself and I won't stand being a part of it, I need to express my opinions and state how I feel about stuff and that I don't agree with their negative bullsh*it to keep my sanity and self-esteem. Felt good.

EDIT
And my mother came up to my room later on, trying to scold me for doing what I did, but I had talked to my brother online afterward to help me reason if what I did was right and I got their support. So when she came trying to pull of their usual guilt tripping and "that I don't have any empathy" I didn't stick. I turned it around against her that she always feel so damn sorry for every living thing and that is all in her head, not every living creature is weak as she seem to believe. She went away. In your face.



I think it's this guilt she has inprinted on me that has f*cked me up pretty good. Guilt that saying that other people are weak and that you should feel sorry for them. That's born from a victim mentality as feeling sorry for someone else take away their responsibility, and thus is a reflection on how you yourself look at the world - that people should feel sorry for you. Sorry, that ain't cutting it anymore.

[Zubrowka]

I have experienced almost overwhelming amounts of anxiety and fatigue this weekend, I think I'm almost over it though and that it was caused by some deep healing.

[Zubrowka]

Ok I think the worst part is over.

I have contemplated what sub to run next - I think that LTU6 will be my next subliminal. To get rid of the fears that I still hold, and help.me to get more relaxed with the ARA. And the other benefits that it will bring.

After that, probably after 6 months, I will probably jump on UMS2.

[Zubrowka]

I'm annoyed with my dad, our relationship don't seem right. He don't seem to take things I say seriously and almost scoffs me off. I hate that. I hate that I get annoyed by it. And at the same time it's like he looks up to me when talking about something. I don't really get the picture of whats happening there.

[Zubrowka]

The more I interact with him, I'm annoyed with my dad. He is self absorbed, ignorant and not very empathic. I'm done idealizing him. No need to do that.

[Zubrowka]

Feels like I always come here bitching about how I feel, but well, this have been a rough patch. Felt really high levels of anxiety today, where I was more or less lost in it, and couldn't really break away from it, and that's when anxiety is worst - when you feel like "this is it" and all the thoughts that follow it, and don't understand it's your anxiety talking. But a run, which initially made things worse, but when I calmed down and had a shower I felt much better. Really looking forward to LTU6, think that the new FRM and sceleton script maybe can help me with this.

And another thing i noticed the anxiety does is that some days, or some parts of days when I feel more positive I start thinking about a future that I want to achieve and feel it's possible - but when anxiety hits, first the feeling of it being possible is erased, and the anxiety tells me that I have just been "imagining" that it was ever possible, like I'm doomed to fail. That sucks when it hits, but I'm happy that the positive periods are becoming more frequent and stay longer (from not being there at all just 6 months ago).

On a good note I will reach a financial goal later this month I set up for myself about one year ago, which is to have a financial buffer saved up for emergencies. I've set a amount that I always want to have in my checking account and always keep the balance there. So that feels good soon being achieved.