01-22-2021, 05:19 PM
Stage 6, Day 14
The past week has been interesting in terms of my emotional state. I started out experiencing a lot of fear. Then anger. Then disconnectedness, like I was watching a movie that I was somehow part of but was only playing a role. Now, the best way I can describe what I feel is un-tethered. I still feel like I'm watching a movie, but I don't feel like I'm playing a role any more. Meanwhile, all the other actors are still acting out their parts as if they're robots running on autopilot. It's as if most of the people around me are pre-programmed to think and act certain ways and curiously those patterns (thoughts & actions) are becoming more and more predictable.
I've intentionally avoided reporting over the past few days because I've been trying to process what's going on. In fact, I'm still trying to wrap my head around what I'm experiencing. This has been a really odd week.
The past week has been interesting in terms of my emotional state. I started out experiencing a lot of fear. Then anger. Then disconnectedness, like I was watching a movie that I was somehow part of but was only playing a role. Now, the best way I can describe what I feel is un-tethered. I still feel like I'm watching a movie, but I don't feel like I'm playing a role any more. Meanwhile, all the other actors are still acting out their parts as if they're robots running on autopilot. It's as if most of the people around me are pre-programmed to think and act certain ways and curiously those patterns (thoughts & actions) are becoming more and more predictable.
I've intentionally avoided reporting over the past few days because I've been trying to process what's going on. In fact, I'm still trying to wrap my head around what I'm experiencing. This has been a really odd week.
