EPHRA

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I broke my commitment. I am on TLAM now.

I feel very compelled to start TLAM now, and return to EPHRA at a later time. I do not know why, but I think my subconscious knows better.

Seek for why you want to do TLAM.

It might probably be because I am making some major financial decisions during this period...

[Greenduck]

I broke my commitment. I am on TLAM now.

I feel very compelled to start TLAM now, and return to EPHRA at a later time. I do not know why, but I think my subconscious knows better.

Seek for why you want to do TLAM.

It might probably be because I am making some major financial decisions during this period...

To me it sounds like resistance. You are not even sure why you want to runt TLAM. There is no better time than now to work on your healing.

You last post you described things that have changed and really got better, if you want more of that you should continue, but it seems that you hit some un-easy things to face and you fled to some other subliminal instead of dealing with them.

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Actually I'm sure of my reasons why I want to run TLAM, but I did not explain fully for personal reasons. Sorry about that!
When I wrote "I do not know why", I meant that E2 has a built-in mechanism to have you continue it until you reach the goals or something along these lines. Since I still have room for improvement, I did not know why I would feel so strongly to start TLAM.

Things definitely improved a lot using E2 and admittedly it is the toughest sub I've ever done. I am not abandoning it for good, just that this period I really need to lend the powers of TLAM. I also have MLS 4G and plan to use both alternately after I have used TLAM for a while.

In fact, it did cross my mind if my commitment to E2 wavered because it was a gift rather than purchased with my own money. So I intend to purchase E2 (get my skin in the game) and get commited to meet the listening goals and bash through more demons.

So now, TLAM. Since I started on it I've had the weirdest dreams LOL.

I dreamed of 3 people, and I know them. One person I was reprimanding, one person who was filled with gratitude for me and the third person I forgot because I did not record this down when I remembered the dream.

I dreamed of a snake. A really big one, coiled itself against the pillar and appear to hang from the ceiling. The tongue was long and poisonous. It did not hit me (the tongue) but it hit my kid's eye. It wasn't bad surprisingly, just a swollen eyelid and the doctor could fix it.

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I'm writing here because I think it is the result of using E2.

I have stopped E2 for about a week, and it's amazing. I still see and feel E2.

Today was another day of noisy arguements, and I was able to handle it calmly (90% of it, at least). The other party was argumentative, finding fault, twisting my words and doing a host of other things angry people do. The thing I probably would have handled differently in future was not to be confrontational at first when provoked, and to give things some thought first.

Although I was eloquent in expressing myself incisively and clearly, it obviously did not sit well with the other party, because I was the perfect mirror, directing the level of energy back at him. People don't really do well with their own poison, even though they enjoy poisoning others with their words. I think my first words set the other party on fire. Not a good tone for subsequent conversations. Nevertheless, I cooled down quickly and I calmly handled the rest of the conversations

During the time the other party was talking I realised how different our levels were. I could see through the intentions, like trying to provoke me, trying to get me to shut up, trying to change the topic, avoidance of the big questions. It's VERY cool. It's like the special power I've wanted all my life.

In the end, the outcome (for that day) was not good. But I am generally pleased with how I handled it and how it did not affect me much.

E2! E2! E2! Fighting those demons and going through that difficult period was worth it!