Kick Fear in the Junk! - Overcoming Fear 5.75G

[RTBoss]

Began Round 2 last night.

One notable dream, with meaning related to the sub that I can surmise:

In the dream was a cabinet, and when opened, it contained a creature that had multiple snake heads of many colors. The creature, I was told, was dead - but still capable of biting. When I put a stick close to the snake heads, they opened their mouths - filled with venomous fangs - to bite. When the stick was withdrawn, the heads dropped down, and appeared lifeless again. But the main life-source of the creature, I was told, was gone.

Snakes represent fear, as well as transformation. My take on this is that the many-heads of the snake represent my fears, and that the life-source for those fears has been removed. The heads are still able to bite, but for how long, without their source of life?

Good stuff.

[ncbeareatingman]

Shit man!! That's some powerful stuff right there. It's almost like a sped up version of "The Dark Night of da Soul", where some realllly deep changes and transformations , come from it and out of it as well. Wow. Thank you RT fer sharing and that so deeply!!
Seems like RT could stand for Rapid Transformation,too!! Ha!!

[RTBoss]

A couple more thoughts/realizations:

The past few days (SASRB days) I've had low-grade anxiety, at times.  No anxiety today.

My wife is awesome.  She makes real money, does most of the shopping, cooks like a pro - including desserts that have packed a few pounds on me (think cake/cheesecake), is an amazing mother, supportive wife, and even has been cutting our hair during COVID19.

[attachment=693]

While she was cutting my hair today, with my shirt off (which, when I'm not completely ripped, is a source of insecurity for me ), I thought, "A woman who didn't Iove me wouldn't do this for me - she wouldn't give a shit about my hair. She's amazing."  And that led to a new train-of-thought.  I haven't allowed myself to fully commit my mind to fully love...because...if I'm not fully committed, I can't be fully rejected.  Time to love as fully as I can.

So, fear. 

And fear....I'm kickin' ya in the junk.

PS - My son likes to get his hair cut with his shirt off, just like Dad.  I'm not six, lol.

---

[Chris P. Bacon]

A couple more thoughts/realizations:

The past few days (SASRB days) I've had low-grade anxiety, at times.  No anxiety today.

My wife is awesome.  She makes real money, does most of the shopping, cooks like a pro - including desserts that have packed a few pounds on me (think cake/cheesecake), is an amazing mother, supportive wife, and even has been cutting our hair during COVID19.



While she was cutting my hair today, with my shirt off (which, when I'm not completely ripped, is a source of insecurity for me ), I thought, "A woman who didn't Iove me wouldn't do this for me - she wouldn't give a shit about my hair. She's amazing."  And that led to a new train-of-thought.  I haven't allowed myself to fully commit my mind to fully love...because...if I'm not fully committed, I can't be fully rejected.  Time to love as fully as I can.

So, fear.  And fear....I'm kickin' ya in the junk.

PS - My son likes to get his hair cut with his shirt off, just like Dad.  I'm not six, lol.

---

This post made me smile.

[tolgaocal80]

good realizations about love, love needs some courage, without fear of separation or rejection the true love will show itself.

The dream is very symbolic, Medusa ıırc, had snakes on her head

[Shannon]

A couple more thoughts/realizations:

The past few days (SASRB days) I've had low-grade anxiety, at times.  No anxiety today.

My wife is awesome.  She makes real money, does most of the shopping, cooks like a pro - including desserts that have packed a few pounds on me (think cake/cheesecake), is an amazing mother, supportive wife, and even has been cutting our hair during COVID19.



While she was cutting my hair today, with my shirt off (which, when I'm not completely ripped, is a source of insecurity for me ), I thought, "A woman who didn't Iove me wouldn't do this for me - she wouldn't give a shit about my hair. She's amazing."  And that led to a new train-of-thought.  I haven't allowed myself to fully commit my mind to fully love...because...if I'm not fully committed, I can't be fully rejected.  Time to love as fully as I can.

So, fear. 

And fear....I'm kickin' ya in the junk.

PS - My son likes to get his hair cut with his shirt off, just like Dad.  I'm not six, lol.

---

Truly inspiring!  Great read, my friend.  May this program improve all of your relationships.

EDIT: Oh, and let her know, in her language, what you've revealed here.

[RTBoss]

A bit irritated right now.  I just looked at my playlist, and apparently the sub stopped (how, I don't know) right before the end of the second loop last night.

Finishing the last four loops, started just about 10 minutes ago.  There won't be a whole lot of time off before tonight's loops.  Ugh.

[RTBoss]

Loops finished last night without incident, thank goodness.

Again, myriad dreams.  The most important one involved me taking a shower, and then after drying off, I looked into the mirror.  I had a headache, and the top of my forehead - where it meets the scalp - was misshapen.  I pushed on it, and a transparent bubble slid a few inches.  I moved my hair aside, and I could see this bubble had a growth inside.  I started crying, thinking I had some sort of tumor.  It looked like some sort of sick brain growth.  Still crying, I put a towel around myself and opened the bathroom door and called for my mother.  Many family members were outside of the door, and stared at me with great concern.  My mom came into the bathroom with me, and I showed her the bubble on my head.  She was concerned, obviously.  I pushed on the bubble, and it slid across the length of my forehead and burst open.  The gray, brain-looking-tumor dropped out - along with a bunch of gross-looking fluid - and a connector with wires (that connected this weird-tumor to my brain?) fell out, as well.  My forehead healed immediately, my headache was gone, and my head no longer looked misshapen.  

Fuckin' weird dream, yeesh.

Woke tired again this morning, after sleeping in an extra 90 minutes.  

I will also say that, after listening to the loops I missed yesterday while awake, they left me feeling mentally drained.

[Shannon]

That dream was great! That's progress if I ever saw it! Bravo! Keep going!

You probably understand that that dream symbolizes one or more of your "inner children" giving up it's fears. That's excellent progress.

The mentally drained happened because you effectively did so many loops so close to each other.

I wish I could remember my dreams.

[RTBoss]

Can't wait to see how that dream's symbolism manifests in my waking life!  

@Shannon Have you always had trouble with dream recall, or is it mostly sub-dependent for you?

[Shannon]

Can't wait to see how that dream's symbolism manifests in my waking life!  

@Shannon Have you always had trouble with dream recall, or is it mostly sub-dependent for you?

It comes and goes.  Sometimes I remember dreams, and sometimes I don't.  Usually goes in cycles of 2-4 weeks at a time.

When I remember them, I'll wake up and tell GF about them, and she always says I'm weird.  lol

[RTBoss]

Man, it's already over!?  On to the second SASRB.  Wow.

Dream last night - in a futuristic public restroom.  Shit and piss all over the floor, walls, ceilings, toilets, stalls...I was disgusted, stepping gingerly around it all.  I looked everywhere for some bathroom attendants to clean up.  When I found two workers, they wouldn't clean, ignored me, and set about installing two giant pumps that I thought might upgrade the whole septic system so the toilets could properly deal with the waste.

Woke up tired, with a slight headache that has now persisted for hours.

[RTBoss]

I'm at the animal hospital with one of my favorite cats.  She's so sweet.  Unfortunately, she ate some of a lily flower's petals, and apparently that is extremely toxic to cats.

Needless to say, I'm feeling quite a bit of fear - even a bit sick to my stomach with worry.

[ncbeareatingman]

RTBoss,man you are processing some deep deep shit!! No pun intended. Just remember & this goes for every body who is using Over Coming Fear, the deeper the stuff, the Freer you will be, once its all cleared up!! To the depths, equally so to da Heights!! I'm proud of you Man!!