Kick Fear in the Junk! - Overcoming Fear 5.75G

[RTBoss]

@Shannon

Double-checked SHA-256 after downloading - matched.

Ran 6 ultrasonic FLAC loops last night, started just before sleep, on my Galaxy S9 stereo-speaker mobile phone.  I meant to set volume to 13/15 clicks, but it looks like I unintentionally set to it 14/15.  Phone on nightstand a few feet from where I sleep in bed.  

I was watched a show on Netflix, and suddenly found myself waking up an episode later - so this sub didn't keep me up.  I actually slept pretty good.  

Many dreams last night were pretty violent in nature.  The content is fading fast.  When I woke, I tried replaying them in my mind so I could remember enough to journal, but all I got now is being sent on missions to kill someone or something.  I also think I had a choice to view it as some sort of game, where the "killing" wasn't real or actually dangerous, for whatever reason.  

There was also a dream where I was walking hallways with stairs at either end, that led to different levels.  The bottom level was cavernous and an area where the people there represented the lower class.  There was some kind of manual labor going on down there, and the people were dirty and dressed in grimy old-English time period clothing.  Can't help but feel this was the most meaningful dream I had, but the details evade me.

Feeling well-rested and good this morning.

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to run this sub right away, but looking back, I've had TID for a week or two.  I played guitar for my kids outside this week, where all the neighbors could see and hear.  I'm sure they were surprised I play.  I've been too shy to do anything of the sort in the past.

I've also been researching careers in medicine - including the possibility of looking into going to Med School (always been interested in psychiatry).  But, I've always said there's no was in hell I'm going back to school, yet now it's something I'm casually looking into.  Before it was "I'm too old, it costs too much, takes too long, I don't want to miss time with my kids, I don't want the responsibility or commitment."  

Also had one night of some heinous nightmares last week.  Most negative dreams or nightmares don't affect me much - I always wake up thinking about how it's not real and try to determine the symbolism.  I woke up from these dreams drenched in sweat and genuinely terrified, thinking nothing of the content meant anything other than its purpose was to genuinely terrify me.  Not sure if it's connected, as this was before I consciously considered running OF.

[THolt]

@Shannon

Double-checked SHA-256 after downloading - matched.

Ran 6 ultrasonic FLAC loops last night, started just before sleep, on my Galaxy S9 stereo-speaker mobile phone.  I meant to set volume to 13/15 clicks, but it looks like I unintentionally set to it 14/15.  Phone on nightstand a few feet from where I sleep in bed.  

I was watched a show on Netflix, and suddenly found myself waking up an episode later - so this sub didn't keep me up.  I actually slept pretty good.  

Many dreams last night were pretty violent in nature.  The content is fading fast.  When I woke, I tried replaying them in my mind so I could remember enough to journal, but all I got now is being sent on missions to kill someone or something.  I also think I had a choice to view it as some sort of game, where the "killing" wasn't real or actually dangerous, for whatever reason.  

There was also a dream where I was walking hallways with stairs at either end, that led to different levels.  The bottom level was cavernous and an area where the people there represented the lower class.  There was some kind of manual labor going on down there, and the people were dirty and dressed in grimy old-English time period clothing.  Can't help but feel this was the most meaningful dream I had, but the details evade me.

Feeling well-rested and good this morning.

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to run this sub right away, but looking back, I've had TID for a week or two.  I played guitar for my kids outside this week, where all the neighbors could see and hear.  I'm sure they were surprised I play.  I've been too shy to do anything of the sort in the past.

I've also been researching careers in medicine - including the possibility of looking into going to Med School (always been interested in psychiatry).  But, I've always said there's no was in hell I'm going back to school, yet now it's something I'm casually looking into.  Before it was "I'm too old, it costs too much, takes too long, I don't want to miss time with my kids, I don't want the responsibility or commitment."  

Also had one night of some heinous nightmares last week.  Most negative dreams or nightmares don't affect me much - I always wake up thinking about how it's not real and try to determine the symbolism.  I woke up from these dreams drenched in sweat and genuinely terrified, thinking nothing of the content meant anything other than its purpose was to genuinely terrify me.  Not sure if it's connected, as this was before I consciously considered running OF.

Wow. Nice results. 

That’s cool you contemplated going to medical school considering it was a far off goal for you.

[Shannon]

Very interesting. Thanks for the report! I noticed about a week or a week and a half ago that I suddenly felt comfortable with and wanted to do something I have been seeing that I end up doing in the models for more than 10 years now, but I was never wanting to do it before. Now not only am I wanting to do it, the desire is consistent and I'm doing what it takes to get started. I get the feeling OF is going to be very good for business... clearing away the fears that have been preventing me from being truly successful so far.

[RTBoss]

@Shannon

Double-checked SHA-256 after downloading - matched.

Ran 6 ultrasonic FLAC loops last night, started just before sleep, on my Galaxy S9 stereo-speaker mobile phone.  I meant to set volume to 13/15 clicks, but it looks like I unintentionally set to it 14/15.  Phone on nightstand a few feet from where I sleep in bed.  

I was watched a show on Netflix, and suddenly found myself waking up an episode later - so this sub didn't keep me up.  I actually slept pretty good.  

Many dreams last night were pretty violent in nature.  The content is fading fast.  When I woke, I tried replaying them in my mind so I could remember enough to journal, but all I got now is being sent on missions to kill someone or something.  I also think I had a choice to view it as some sort of game, where the "killing" wasn't real or actually dangerous, for whatever reason.  

There was also a dream where I was walking hallways with stairs at either end, that led to different levels.  The bottom level was cavernous and an area where the people there represented the lower class.  There was some kind of manual labor going on down there, and the people were dirty and dressed in grimy old-English time period clothing.  Can't help but feel this was the most meaningful dream I had, but the details evade me.

Feeling well-rested and good this morning.

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to run this sub right away, but looking back, I've had TID for a week or two.  I played guitar for my kids outside this week, where all the neighbors could see and hear.  I'm sure they were surprised I play.  I've been too shy to do anything of the sort in the past.

I've also been researching careers in medicine - including the possibility of looking into going to Med School (always been interested in psychiatry).  But, I've always said there's no was in hell I'm going back to school, yet now it's something I'm casually looking into.  Before it was "I'm too old, it costs too much, takes too long, I don't want to miss time with my kids, I don't want the responsibility or commitment."  

Also had one night of some heinous nightmares last week.  Most negative dreams or nightmares don't affect me much - I always wake up thinking about how it's not real and try to determine the symbolism.  I woke up from these dreams drenched in sweat and genuinely terrified, thinking nothing of the content meant anything other than its purpose was to genuinely terrify me.  Not sure if it's connected, as this was before I consciously considered running OF.

Wow. Nice results. 

That’s cool you contemplated going to medical school considering it was a far off goal for you.

We'll see what transpires!

[THolt]

Very interesting.  Thanks for the report!  I noticed about a week or a week and a half ago that I suddenly felt comfortable with and wanted to do something I have been seeing that I end up doing in the models for more than 10 years now, but I was never wanting to do it before.  Now not only am I wanting to do it, the desire is consistent and I'm doing what it takes to get started.  I get the feeling OF is going to be very good for business... clearing away the fears that have been preventing me from being truly successful so far.

@Shannon

Would OF take care of fear of success or is that more of a self worth issue?

[Shannon]

Very interesting.  Thanks for the report!  I noticed about a week or a week and a half ago that I suddenly felt comfortable with and wanted to do something I have been seeing that I end up doing in the models for more than 10 years now, but I was never wanting to do it before.  Now not only am I wanting to do it, the desire is consistent and I'm doing what it takes to get started.  I get the feeling OF is going to be very good for business... clearing away the fears that have been preventing me from being truly successful so far.

@Shannon

Would OF take care of fear of success or is that more of a self worth issue?

If it is fear, or a cause of fear, it is a target for OF 5.75G.  No exceptions.

[RTBoss]

Made sure volume was 13/15 clicks, ultrasonic FLAC, phone speakers.

Started again before sleep. Felt myself relax within 5 minutes of starting loops, and remained relaxed until I fell asleep within the hour - again, watching a show on Netflix.

Slept hard, slept in by an extra 90 minutes. It's Father's Day - I took advantage!

Many dreams, again. Dreamed of an old friend, who in this dream treated me like an enemy. I wasn't welcome at the party, which was seemingly a Halloween party. I remember searching for a costume to wear in many locals.

I also dreamed of sneaking into someone else's home to hide out. I thought they weren't home, and when I opened a door, I saw they were home, but not sensing my presence. I was able to sneak out without detection. I remember being fearful about being caught.

TL;DR Dreams about wearing masks that symbolize fear and searching for those masks to wear. Old/outgrown friends that weren't a good influence in my life being upset with me and telling me I'm not welcome.

Feel good this morning. Feeling lighter.

[ncbeareatingman]

Very interesting.  Thanks for the report!  I noticed about a week or a week and a half ago that I suddenly felt comfortable with and wanted to do something I have been seeing that I end up doing in the models for more than 10 years now, but I was never wanting to do it before.  Now not only am I wanting to do it, the desire is consistent and I'm doing what it takes to get started.  I get the feeling OF is going to be very good for business... clearing away the fears that have been preventing me from being truly successful so far.

@Shannon

Would OF take care of fear of success or is that more of a self worth issue?

If it is fear, or a cause of fear, it is a target for OF 5.75G.  No exceptions.

 Excellent,Most excellent....in either direction fear of failure,fear of shame,fear of success and more. amazing,targeting,busting it,clearing it,moving forward! wow. like you said "Mind Boggling' for UMS2,stand alone,as is and any other program,where it fits. Man,amazing times!!

[RTBoss]

Night 3, Same Usage Pattern

We had the air conditioner on and set to 69 degrees F, which for me means a deep sleep bundled up under the covers.  Not so last night, I was hot, uncovered most of the night, and tossed-and-turned quite a bit.  For the past two nights, my wife has been at home in bed with me, and thus exposed to OF.  I think the DRS is fully powered and the combination of auras made me hot.  That would suggest that my wife is executing the sub, which is great news.

I asked her if she had any weird dreams yesterday morning, but she didn't remember any.  For me, this sub is a crazy-dream generating machine!  Last night's dreams were nuts, and always included either people from my past, or people I currently know.  I even had dreams with people from reality shows I've watched over the years.  Content was all over the place, but nothing particularly fearful.  The strangest part of any of the dreams that I can recall is this pair of fake boobs attached to a bra that we all wore interchangeably.  I remember being in a pool and trying it on, then passing it to one of the girls who wanted to wear it.  Fuckin' weird, LOL.

I woke up feeling exhausted.  I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but as my wife works today, I had to get up to take care of the kids.  I think a nap will be in order this afternoon.

[RTBoss]

Night 4

The only thing that stood out to me last night was that I had some mild anxiety in bed, and lie awake for nearly 45 minutes (no TV) after starting loops.  My mind raced, thinking about past perceived failures, particularly related to relationships with clients.  Mostly thoughts about instances where I did the right thing, but things didn't go my way and were ultimately out of my control.  For whatever reason, I haven't fully forgiven myself for what I could not control, or let go of those situations.  It took around 30 minutes of petting my cat and allowing her purr to calm me to be able to calm my mind and finally settle into sleep.

Dreams weren't nearly as freaky, and were related to me standing up for people and doing what's right, and then being appreciated for it.  Interesting, especially after my runaway thought train revolving around the same material just before sleep.

Again, wanted to sleep in past my normal wake schedule. Been tired during the day, spending energy processing these fears, apparently.

[Shannon]

I'm noticing that it's taking more energy that I can explain by just looking at DRS also. I guess there is a lot going on under the hood, but it seems to be very much happening "under the hood" for me, at least. Very interested to see how it works with you over the long term.

[RTBoss]

Hard to believe tonight marks Day 1 of SARB.  I'm kinda disappointed not to be running OF tonight.  Been having a lot of fun with the dreams I'm having, I hope they continue!

I will say I'm looking forward to recouping some energy.  I've been pretty drained the past few days, especially when the caffeine wears off.

[Shannon]

I am a little surprised how much energy this program takes, but that's a good sign that it's busy doing its thing. I also kind of miss using it during the 3 days off, but I definitely also need to recover some energy!

I find myself procrastinating today... someone doesn't want to cooperate. Time to force the progress.

[RTBoss]

I am a little surprised how much energy this program takes, but that's a good sign that it's busy doing its thing.  I also kind of miss using it during the 3 days off, but I definitely also need to recover some energy!

I find myself procrastinating today... someone doesn't want to cooperate.  Time to force the progress.

Me, too - I slept in an extra hour today after falling asleep early.  Slept 9.5 hours, which is unusual for me.  I could have slept more if I hadn't heard all the noise the kids and my wife were making downstairs.  

I've had some unusual, but mild, anxiety the past few days.  None so far this morning.  Just feeling drugged, probably from sleeping longer than usual.

No noticeable signs of fear, but like you, feeling some procrastination and then little motivation to do a whole lot.  Not that with this pandemic there's a whole lot for me to do...