12-09-2018, 10:18 AM
Yesterday I had a lot of rage at the beginning of the day that subsided over the course of the day so I'm thankful for that. I ended up working a double shift essentially with my boss yesterday (female, very cute). We've grown closer because I've been employed with the company longer and she trusts me to get things done. We both smoked some weed (unprofessional I know but meh 
) and I was still able to be on point with my banter. At one point she said (I'm paraphrasing) "guess we should just hold hands and get all our woes out" at which point I hesitated for a microsecond and then just reached my hand out for hers and she grasped back and I playfully took a deep breath to signify stress relief which made her giggle.
Later went over to a small get-together to celebrate two b-days for some buddies of mine. Drank a bit but still felt good. Very little anxiety if any. Shook hands with the ladies at the party and dapped up the fellas. Lots of good vibes. One of the girls (my buddy's ex) gave me a "are you serious?" facial expression when I held my hand out to shake her hand and she got up from her seat, said "I don't want a handshake, I want a hug" and hugged me as if I was some long lost friend (we've only spoken TWICE...EVER). No she's not that attractive but she's cool. My buddy told me a while back that she said I was gorgeous
.
Final Comments
* Drug override programming seems to work, although I didn't drink myself under a table nor did I smoke a whole bunch of shit. Wonder if it can override artificial pheromones....(joking Shannon, I know the rules
)
* Less apprehension about confrontation. HUGE plus for me. The thought no longer makes me as nervous (although I still get a bit nervous) as before. But I need to see more of it in action though.
* The filter from my gut to my brain is dissipating. In other words, if I feel something I'm more likely to just say it.
* This sub can be dangerous for people wanting to be in a committed relationship. Me and this other chick having been talking serious about our relationship in terms of goals, marriage, etc. but frankly I don't like her behavior. I've just tried to be patient. Having options and knowing I can dismiss her with the snap of my finger is changing my disposition. Drastically.
* I'm started to feel "uncaged". Imagine an animal that's been locked in captivity for a long time but gets it's shackles loosened.
) and I was still able to be on point with my banter. At one point she said (I'm paraphrasing) "guess we should just hold hands and get all our woes out" at which point I hesitated for a microsecond and then just reached my hand out for hers and she grasped back and I playfully took a deep breath to signify stress relief which made her giggle.Later went over to a small get-together to celebrate two b-days for some buddies of mine. Drank a bit but still felt good. Very little anxiety if any. Shook hands with the ladies at the party and dapped up the fellas. Lots of good vibes. One of the girls (my buddy's ex) gave me a "are you serious?" facial expression when I held my hand out to shake her hand and she got up from her seat, said "I don't want a handshake, I want a hug" and hugged me as if I was some long lost friend (we've only spoken TWICE...EVER). No she's not that attractive but she's cool. My buddy told me a while back that she said I was gorgeous
.Final Comments
* Drug override programming seems to work, although I didn't drink myself under a table nor did I smoke a whole bunch of shit. Wonder if it can override artificial pheromones....(joking Shannon, I know the rules
)* Less apprehension about confrontation. HUGE plus for me. The thought no longer makes me as nervous (although I still get a bit nervous) as before. But I need to see more of it in action though.
* The filter from my gut to my brain is dissipating. In other words, if I feel something I'm more likely to just say it.
* This sub can be dangerous for people wanting to be in a committed relationship. Me and this other chick having been talking serious about our relationship in terms of goals, marriage, etc. but frankly I don't like her behavior. I've just tried to be patient. Having options and knowing I can dismiss her with the snap of my finger is changing my disposition. Drastically.
* I'm started to feel "uncaged". Imagine an animal that's been locked in captivity for a long time but gets it's shackles loosened.
