**Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal**

[Jake2015]

And your learned behavior for getting attention is failure and helplessness.  

I've done this myself, for a long time.  I still see it, and a core fear is taking responsibility for my life.

Jake, this isn't a bash at you.  This is me saying you're not alone.  I did this, and have done it using subliminals for a number of years now.  Gratefully, Shannon pointed it out when he wrote the Overcome the Victim Mentality description for LTU5, and LTU5 worked wonders on my self-esteem.  Pasted below is the description from LTU6.


"A victim mentality can result from one or both of two situations.  The first is as a result of actually having been a victim of some person, thing or circumstance, which then becomes a part of the accepted self identity of the person.  The second is when a person realizes that they can get something they want (usually attention, pity, special status, special treatment, some form of control, money or special favors) from being, or pretending to be, a victim.  In either case, a victim mentality degrades self respect, self esteem, a sense of self worth and a healthy self identity.  This program works to remove the victim mentality, regardless of what brought it about, which helps prevent being a victim in the future, and also makes the person naturally healthier mentally and emotionally."

What hit me was it "degrades self respect, self esteem, a sense of self worth and a healthy self identity."  Yeah.  Every single time.  I'd just want to whine or manipulate others around (me not feeling good about myself anyway), and I'd feel like shit after.    I'd sit and stew now, wondering essentially "how can I get good attention?"  It's a never-ending cycle.  My focus used to be on getting attention--it just pisses me off now at times.  That's NOT me.  It DOESN'T work--or feel good.  

Which is also why I'm not writing as much.  Old pretentions still exist, but following them hurts me more, most of the time immediately.  My growth or lack of it is not about anyone else.  It's about me.  I realize and am working now to change my focus from having someone say I'm worthy to me saying and thinking I'm worthy.  

I'm not sure if you relate to my story, but there it is.  I found staying in old thinking hurt me more and more internally.  

The question I'll ask and let you think on is this: "what do you REALLY want?"  I don't expect or require a response.  It's for you to think on.  Some answers might not be comfortable, but being honest with yourself is the priority.  It's your journey.  Give yourself some credit, and you'll make responsible decisions.  Peace.

Thank you for this @findingme I appreciate you sharing your story and journey.

Im unsure how I myself though am seeking attention, or been a victim. I have fears and those fears show up and they are strong and are fear of failure it seems if my assessment is correct.

Do I behave a victim in life no on the contrary everyone that knows me says I'm a very confident guy and social too. I have no fear when it comes to approaching women for example and chatting though like many men I get oneitis when I think I've met the one though the red pill community would shudder at that. 

I have goals I want to reach and the subs I hope will help me reach those. I dont journal for attention I journal for data. I take some time out share all I can good or bad unaware what really is the data sought but I've kept consistent with this. Thank you bro.