07-18-2021, 06:56 AM
Day 60/180 ON #1- Sat 17 July - 2 MONTHS of OF3 today. 4 months left to go. - Part 2
10) MOTIVATION & MOOD & FOCUS were very low! I felt like life was a waste of time almost though not depressed I just felt bored and fed up. I decided to go to bed thinking a good nights sleep is what I really needed.
11) Again no desire to sleep so youtube and porn to the rescue as always.
12) this time hit play on the sub and slept.
---
Day 61/180 ON #2- Sun 18 July
1) Woke early went to pee, came back slept and woke later around 11am. Later than planned.
2) Today failed at all I had planned to do so far. Sat on my ass wasting time on youtube and not at all again in the mood or desire to do anything. Is this the sub or simply my willpower finally giving up?
3) I after 6hours when finished from the bathroom thought im up out of my chair may as well clear the shopping in the bags and so hit music on my phone and started to do that. Around a few mins into doing that my mood changed and i realised it and noticed it.
CLEARLY FOR ME MOVING MY BODY INTO ACTION CHANGES MY MOOD!!! - WELL IT DID THIS 1 TIME ANYWAY
4) So now I feel a little more focus at 5.54pm to do something so came on to report this.
5) I do feel as if im questioning the sub. Is all this resistance or simply me. Am i executing where I will notice something or not. Even though I wonder whether to increase to 5 loops now I am hesistant as this mood flunk that I get into really derails my daily productivity and fucks with my plans.
So I am now on my 2 days off so will not make any plans yet to increase loops as I dont want to fuck myself until I really have given 4 loops time to show me whatever it can do for me. I am though after 2months wondering has any of my fear been attacked and removed yet or not.
With a third of the way complete.... and 2 thirds left, I currently am losing optimism.
10) MOTIVATION & MOOD & FOCUS were very low! I felt like life was a waste of time almost though not depressed I just felt bored and fed up. I decided to go to bed thinking a good nights sleep is what I really needed.
11) Again no desire to sleep so youtube and porn to the rescue as always.
12) this time hit play on the sub and slept.
---
Day 61/180 ON #2- Sun 18 July
1) Woke early went to pee, came back slept and woke later around 11am. Later than planned.
2) Today failed at all I had planned to do so far. Sat on my ass wasting time on youtube and not at all again in the mood or desire to do anything. Is this the sub or simply my willpower finally giving up?
3) I after 6hours when finished from the bathroom thought im up out of my chair may as well clear the shopping in the bags and so hit music on my phone and started to do that. Around a few mins into doing that my mood changed and i realised it and noticed it.
CLEARLY FOR ME MOVING MY BODY INTO ACTION CHANGES MY MOOD!!! - WELL IT DID THIS 1 TIME ANYWAY
4) So now I feel a little more focus at 5.54pm to do something so came on to report this.
5) I do feel as if im questioning the sub. Is all this resistance or simply me. Am i executing where I will notice something or not. Even though I wonder whether to increase to 5 loops now I am hesistant as this mood flunk that I get into really derails my daily productivity and fucks with my plans.
So I am now on my 2 days off so will not make any plans yet to increase loops as I dont want to fuck myself until I really have given 4 loops time to show me whatever it can do for me. I am though after 2months wondering has any of my fear been attacked and removed yet or not.
With a third of the way complete.... and 2 thirds left, I currently am losing optimism.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
