01-04-2015, 03:27 AM
Stage 3, Day 17
External changes seem to be happening all around me. I'm experimenting with cooking, hairstyles, I'm doing home improvement jobs and chatting up girls, that usually wouldn't be my type. I've nailed down my diet to a large extent. Next on the list are setting aside hard time for doing some exercise instead of doing so sporadically. Also, I'm learning to do my productive work based on circadian rhythms.
I'm guessing that willingness to experiment is a natural consequence of releasing at least some of the know-it-all-ness, especially with a subliminal playing in the background. New stuff keeps coming up, some of it hurts bad, and this has been going on since day 1 of this stage (the main upset happened before that though). There are a lot of positive moments for sure, but just when I think it's finally gone, it takes between a few hours and a day for me to be proven wrong.
I feel very much capable to dive into the emotions without taking them personally, but it does take time out of my schedule to process the bigger ones. It's definitely going to be worth it in the end, as the results are already happening. Emotionally, it still feels a bit hopeless, but that is of little importance since I know it will fade away eventually.
External changes seem to be happening all around me. I'm experimenting with cooking, hairstyles, I'm doing home improvement jobs and chatting up girls, that usually wouldn't be my type. I've nailed down my diet to a large extent. Next on the list are setting aside hard time for doing some exercise instead of doing so sporadically. Also, I'm learning to do my productive work based on circadian rhythms.
I'm guessing that willingness to experiment is a natural consequence of releasing at least some of the know-it-all-ness, especially with a subliminal playing in the background. New stuff keeps coming up, some of it hurts bad, and this has been going on since day 1 of this stage (the main upset happened before that though). There are a lot of positive moments for sure, but just when I think it's finally gone, it takes between a few hours and a day for me to be proven wrong.
I feel very much capable to dive into the emotions without taking them personally, but it does take time out of my schedule to process the bigger ones. It's definitely going to be worth it in the end, as the results are already happening. Emotionally, it still feels a bit hopeless, but that is of little importance since I know it will fade away eventually.
