Day 124,
I'm becoming very annoyed by bad communication and poor form.
I'm seeing this at work; there's a colleague in a project of mine who frequently reaches out for a "quick connect".
Almost everything he does is annoying to me. First, I dislike when colleagues direct message you with a solitary "hi"; I know you want something and you're dragging it out. Second, the "quick connect" used to not be elaborated, until I coached him into telling me the reason for the call before I would agree to it. Third, it was never 'quick'; it would often be 30-45 minute discussions. I need to coach him to set appointments for conversations, and to respect the time allotted; otherwise, do a better job at predicting the time required for the scope of our meeting. This is someone who has apparently contracted in tech for 10+ years.
He sets a meeting with no clear agenda; it's a planned 30 minute discussion that goes above 60 minutes. (I have no other pressing matters, so there's no use of me pulling away to some other work.)
Then, the actual contents of the discussion are droning and difficult to follow. Apologies to my Indian friends, but some of the linguistic adaptations y'all use to speak English are highly formalized and very clinical; often, any emotive quality is stripped away, and ideas are presented in a clunky, awkward order. As a result, I have to dedicate so much attention to deciphering what's being communicated.
The worst is when they (people in general) talk for two minutes, then won't let you even start your response to add blathering clarifications which aren't actually clarifications, but manifestations of their insecurities refusing to stake a firm position.
Another stream of ideas.
I think that the talking point about "people will forget you in two seconds, so take an action outside of your comfort zone" directly contradicts your ability to be memorable. So the real question becomes: "Why do you not want to be remembered by others?" From there, you find emotional obstacles to work on.
I've both heard that point, and have repeated it, myself. Don't you want to be remembered? I believe that shame is an obstacle to having your past words and actions reflected back to you, so you prevent this by being the most watered-down and milquetoast version of yourself.
I think that this conflict goes through my head when I'm beginning a conversation with a woman; I want to make an impression on her, but not make an impression on anybody within earshot. Of course my message will come out muddled.
There was a 14-year old (looking) kid at my hometown gym who was wearing a T-shirt which reads "I *heart* hot moms". I'm going to remember that for a long while.
I'm becoming very annoyed by bad communication and poor form.
I'm seeing this at work; there's a colleague in a project of mine who frequently reaches out for a "quick connect".
Almost everything he does is annoying to me. First, I dislike when colleagues direct message you with a solitary "hi"; I know you want something and you're dragging it out. Second, the "quick connect" used to not be elaborated, until I coached him into telling me the reason for the call before I would agree to it. Third, it was never 'quick'; it would often be 30-45 minute discussions. I need to coach him to set appointments for conversations, and to respect the time allotted; otherwise, do a better job at predicting the time required for the scope of our meeting. This is someone who has apparently contracted in tech for 10+ years.
He sets a meeting with no clear agenda; it's a planned 30 minute discussion that goes above 60 minutes. (I have no other pressing matters, so there's no use of me pulling away to some other work.)
Then, the actual contents of the discussion are droning and difficult to follow. Apologies to my Indian friends, but some of the linguistic adaptations y'all use to speak English are highly formalized and very clinical; often, any emotive quality is stripped away, and ideas are presented in a clunky, awkward order. As a result, I have to dedicate so much attention to deciphering what's being communicated.
The worst is when they (people in general) talk for two minutes, then won't let you even start your response to add blathering clarifications which aren't actually clarifications, but manifestations of their insecurities refusing to stake a firm position.
Another stream of ideas.
I think that the talking point about "people will forget you in two seconds, so take an action outside of your comfort zone" directly contradicts your ability to be memorable. So the real question becomes: "Why do you not want to be remembered by others?" From there, you find emotional obstacles to work on.
I've both heard that point, and have repeated it, myself. Don't you want to be remembered? I believe that shame is an obstacle to having your past words and actions reflected back to you, so you prevent this by being the most watered-down and milquetoast version of yourself.
I think that this conflict goes through my head when I'm beginning a conversation with a woman; I want to make an impression on her, but not make an impression on anybody within earshot. Of course my message will come out muddled.
There was a 14-year old (looking) kid at my hometown gym who was wearing a T-shirt which reads "I *heart* hot moms". I'm going to remember that for a long while.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
