I AM the SEX, the MONEY and the POWER (DMSI v2.4)

[Steven]

Like, that date was so annoying that even when I caught a glimpse of that beautiful ass... my dick didn't even get hard because she was that cold.

I've noticed that some times even if a woman is really physically beautiful, I have no physical reaction. I can only guess it's something like autopilot trying to keep me out of trouble.

[Steven]

I usually have a 25 minute rule. Would go the extra mile (literally) for a manifestation. Ended being a waste of time, effort and money.

In the future, I'm sticking to my rules.

I drove about 25 minutes to meet a woman recently. She blew me off the entire time. I drove away thinking "I refuse to drive out of my way any more because I live in a city where I have the option to drive 15 minutes or less to meet a woman."

[AbundanceCH]

I usually have a 25 minute rule. Would go the extra mile (literally) for a manifestation. Ended being a waste of time, effort and money.

In the future, I'm sticking to my rules.

I drove about 25 minutes to meet a woman recently. She blew me off the entire time. I drove away thinking "I refuse to drive out of my way any more because I live in a city where I have the option to drive 15 minutes or less to meet a woman."

SPOILED!! No offense

I have lived in the suburbs for the past 8 years or so. Almost every day in that time I have driven 50 minutes - 1hr + to get to my job and just anywhere fun in the city. In order to have fun I have to drive 40+ minutes period. The city is my playground nothing where I live.

I always get a chuckle when I hear people complaining about driving for anything less than that. To me 25 minutes IS HEAVEN! I would drive 25 minutes to meet a woman every day of the damn week! Just tell me where to sign up lol.

Don't complain about driving 25 minutes for the chance to get some p****. I drove 6 hours once to have dinner with a girl and yes she took me home that night and I got her hooked i'm still seeing her! And I was dating a girl in my city at the time so I achieved one of my dreams (be dating two women at the same time in 2 different cities. She happens to be in another country too so that's a cool bonus) I'm currently working on dating 3 girls in 3 different cities. No complaining I am thankful because I know there are guys that are paying hundreds of $$$ for hookers while at most I pay $60 or so in gas for the out of towners

Think about it that way. You gotta do what a man's gotta do and if it means driving far away to get some you know what then do it don't complain. A lion doesn't complain about going hunting for his food no matter how far he has to search in the jungle.

[chaosvrgn]

Lol, no.

I have the luxury of living 25 minutes from a big city. There's no real reason for me to drive farther than that, especially for the "chance" at pussy. My time is valuable. It's definitely not going to be wasted on an entitled women.

25 minute, hard limit. I don't have problems getting laid. The rule works well for me.

[chaosvrgn]

Day 34.

Resistance again. Seems like a normal thing for me now. It's getting to the point where it's affecting my day-to-day schedule. I don't want to work. Don't want to box. Don't want to do anything except sleep. Don't even feel like eating. I have a constant tension headache, so it's obvious that I'm resisting the hell out of this program, maybe to the point of stonewalling. At least, that's what I'm afraid of. It seems like the people that are truly stonewalling the program claim they aren't feeling anything, not even headaches or depression. Just, nothing. Honestly, I don't believe any of those claims. I feel like they're letting their antagonistic skepticism get the best of them, hamstering away any results as just coincidence or "not enough proof" to believe. But whatever, not my problem.

My problem is whatever I'm resisting. I really hope it's the clearing modules trying to get me to let go of my distrust for women. Otherwise, I'm going to be quite irritated. At who? No idea -- probably everything. It's a bit ridiculous that I resist a script that tells me to self-validate. To love myself. To have self-esteem. What kind of world do we live in where it's standard practice to break down people's egos so that they think less of themselves?

The answer is: The universe is uncaring. It doesn't give a fuck. It relentlessly pursues perfection and if that means a bunch of bags of water and skin have to feel like lil' bitches, that's what will happen.

So, this morning, I made a promise to myself that I'll push forward toward excellence in everything that I do. Anything that feels painful, I'll confront and face it and move past it. There's a line in Eminem's song "Phenomenal" that I'm really fucking feeling right now:

With every ounce of my blood
With every breath in my lungs
Won't stop until I'm phe-no-menal
I am phenomenal
However long that it takes
I'll go to whatever lengths
It's gonna make me a monster though
I am phenomenal
But I would never say, ‘Oh, it’s impossible’
Cause I'm born to be phenomenal

Ya'll mofos can sit here and let women take a mile from you if you want. I'm going to be rich, a badass martial artist, living the life of my dreams. Twenty pages of pain and struggle in this journal. The lone woman likes the one post that would benefit her.

Well, I'm sorry ladies. While I won't walk around calling women "walking vaginas," which prompted Shannon to take action, I will say this: THIS particular journal ain't for ya'll. And THIS particular person couldn't care less about what you think about that, or me for that matter.

#KanyeShrug

lol. Welcome to modern society.

[Steven]

@chaosvrgn

I've had moments of what I think is resistance, but it seems to be less intense than what you experience. It's more of not wanting to go out and not wanting to do anything. Very little inner pain. Very little anger. Very little sadness.

But a number of the issues you list that you are working through, definitely I can relate to, especially that trust of women issue.

I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you about how to make the emotions less painful. But there is one thing for sure, I want the healing to be completed and over with soon!

[JackOfHearts]

@chaos your writing really shows that you have something against women. You wouldn't spend so much time talking about them the way you do otherwise. You are pretty good at analyzing writing so I guess it should be obvious to you.

I hope you don't take it as an attack. Just something I want to mention as it seems a part of you want to remove it but the other part is still stuck with it.

[apollolux]

@Alpha360 - chaos has said on multiple occasions that he's previously allowed his experience with his baby mama permeate and shape his perception of other women. If what he's shared with us thus far is accurate, only now/recently is that "something against women" being acknowledged more fully (consciously? subconsciously?) and handled. At least, that's if I've interpreted the writings in this journal reasonably accurately.

@chaosvrgn - feel free to let me know if there may need to be any corrections to the above assessment, thanks.

[chaosvrgn]

Apollo is pretty spot on. I'm working through these issues. But, I don't want to turn this into a "I hate women" thread. I'm not a fan of how society absolves women of all their wrongdoings, and as a result, they've become entitled. I don't "hate women." That's all I'm going to say about that for now. Shannon explained his intentions and I think I owe it to the man that's brought such drastic changes in my life not to be a troublemaker while he keeps on redefining reality.

So...

Today, I had a moment of pure bliss and euphoria. The aura was projecting on an absolutely INSANE level. When I walked into the boxing gym, EVERYONE spun and looked at me. While sparring, I was on my A-game. Insane amount of courage, strength and skill. Everyone felt threatened by me, they were trying to destroy me in the ring. Unfortunately for them, I'm about 220 pounds and everyone else are lightweights -- probably 150, at the most. That means, their punches don't really do a lot of damage to me. If you've seen George Foreman fight, imagine that, just with a bit more bouncing and movement.

Had butt displays and a crotch display from a very beautiful Latina chick (while I was standing over her, she spread her legs open and smiled at me, asked about my new boxing gloves). Unfortunately, I think she's like 16. But man, she's a cutie.

That feeling has faded, I guess I'm resisting again. However, I'm BURNING UP after eating. It wasn't that bad at first because I was just eating steak. Then, I added a dinner roll for my "cheat day." Holy shit. I'm on fire now. Haven't felt this since v1. I think -- I hope -- it means I'm getting closer to the point where the aura generation takes precedence over the clearing.

[Shannon]

In 3.0, I am going to attempt multiple (3 or more) different energy sourcing "threads" with different energy sources. Hopefully the end result is that the aura can and does power up all the time, at max, when you're ready for it.

[chaosvrgn]

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scoti...-1.3791642

Canadian study looks at sex lives of first-time parents
Study found new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy

WHAT? That's... so... crayyyyy....zeeee....

WHODATHUNKIT!!!

EDIT: Lemme add a sarcasm tag and bold the hilarious line.

[/sarcasm]

... new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy...

... more empathy...

... empathy.

[Raykon]

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scoti...-1.3791642

Canadian study looks at sex lives of first-time parents
Study found new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy

WHAT? That's... so... crayyyyy....zeeee....

WHODATHUNKIT!!!

Men's estrogen levels increase and tesosterone levels decrease after having a baby. It's to help with bonding with the child. Estrogen increases empathy.

[bits]

@"Q" what happened to your l-glutamine post?

[Steven]

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scoti...-1.3791642

Canadian study looks at sex lives of first-time parents
Study found new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy

WHAT? That's... so... crayyyyy....zeeee....

WHODATHUNKIT!!!

EDIT: Lemme add a sarcasm tag and bold the hilarious line.

[/sarcasm]

... new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy...

... more empathy...

... empathy.

More empathy than what? Than before the birth? Than the woman did? Than her best friend?