Funky's Journal - The Year of DMSI - V3.1 - Starting Fresh

[eternity]

Sorry guys, don't want to be reporting negativity but just in that last hour or so of posting the above ^ I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack. I'm still surprised and body is shaking so I'll be brief as I'm not sure if it's worth posting this or not but will do in case anyone has something similar.

I think maybe it was a clash of energies between DMSI and caffeine. I had my normal 2 cups before the gym but I felt like it was too much right after the second one. Cue me arriving into my workout with several attractive women and anxiety flooded my body. Felt like a tidal wave of negative emotion. Not just that but a range of negative emotions, angry at the girl checking me out for making me feel like this (ridiculous) and despair at the thought of not being able to do anything about it. Heart pumping and just wanted to get the hell out of there, but I closed my eyes and made myself finish my work out. Couldn't look any of the girls in the eyes though, was the complete opposite of being sexy. I've not had that flooding feeling of anxiety in years and never want it again. I have no doubt the caffeine had a large part to play but it was just my normal, everyday dose and have never felt like this with it before. Probably my weekend feelings also contributed.

At the moment I just feel empty and that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. Not hungry at all but eating something might help so will try and force something down. I need this to go away in time for work later.

Never mind, I know it won't last and at least I managed to find some strength in me to finish my workout.

Apologies again for the bad vibes.

What makes you think caffeine had anything to do with it? Correlation is not causation, and you have one data point. One data point means nothing. You need several data points to really have an idea what any of them mean.

I have used caffeine many times during my run of DMSI 3.0.1-A and never had any issue with it like you describe. Nobody else to my knowledge has either. And there's no reason I can think of that such a thing should be so, caffeine affecting you like that with regards to DMSI.

I think you're healing and clearing and it happens at it's own pace and in its own time. Some of the stuff that needs healing and clearing in us is pretty deep, and some of it is really yucky. But caffeine is just caffeine.

if he's naturally susceptible to anxiety, caffeine could certainly contribute to a panic attack. people resist dmsi in various ways it seems, so i don't think we can rule out the possibility that it was dmsi + caffeine related, just like we cannot equate correlation with causation regarding the same.

To OP: no worries about the negativity, mate. it helps me to get rid of some negativity by laying it out on my journal, so i get it.

hope you're able to get over the negative feelings during the clearing phase. it is way better on the upswing