Funding the Project with USLM v4.2

[ReconGunner]

MY  2 quarters worth here, ReCon, please give OFv4 some thought, worth a 'consider',since you're in the consideration mode,right now.
Peace and all the best.

Thanks for the encouragement!

I'd love to give the latest and greatest a shot, especially based on the journals already going. But it's even more expensive than UH, which I also can't afford. And I need physical healing along with the emotional, which UH delivers.

Short of that, UD is a lower priced alternative. Lower tech, and less thorough; no illusions there. Still good tech; and good effect, from the UD journals I've seen.

If I fall short of cash, I have ASC 5G, USLM, and E5 on hand. I will run USLM again at some point; if not immediately. ASC would be a good "mental palate" cleanser. E5 is good, just a long commitment after having run it starting this time last year.

[ReconGunner]

Rest Week 1

Posting this here, as I still don't know what my next run will be.

I remembered this week that there's more to success than just money. There's also time; and managing your time is as important as managing your money. My circumstances are changing, in the normal cycle of life, and one of the results is that I now have more flexibility in my time. I don't have any ideas of how to make best use of that flexibility, but being aware of it and seeing it as an opportunity is a big step forward.

Also, I made some definite progress toward two of the goals I set for USLM. There's still work to be done to get there, and a low five-figure dollar amount to be directed within normal cash flow. So without extraordinary events, several months to at least one of the two goals.

Right now, I'm leaning more toward running USLM again after this 4 week break is over. I feel like some strong results came through the last couple of weeks of the first run, after I adjusted the volume up to 3/4 from 2/3. I still have to own my overambitious goals and set them to be more attainable within the scope of what USLM is designed to do.

[ReconGunner]

Rest Week 3

A full time position opened up at my current job. It's the same thing I'm doing now, only I would be an employee of the organization instead of an employee of the contractor. Better benefits, retirement, etc. More office politics, though.

My co-worker and I both applied for it. It would be a good thing if either of us get it, mainly because he has another friend that we've been trying to get on board and working with us with the contractor. Either of us getting the full time spot means the third guy can come in as a direct replacement.

And the contractor isn't going anywhere. The contract has already been extended for a year, and there are full time folks advocating for a three-year contract renewal after that.

That, plus a lot of thought and assessment on my part, has led to the decision that I will run USLM a second time. I think that lessons learned from the first run will make a positive difference on the second. I am setting aside one of the original goals and retaining the other two. I will start the run at ~75% volume on my tablet, because that produced the best results. And I will start at the baseline ASRB2 of 5:1

I haven't redone the automation yet, so I will use the existing set-up and manually keep the ASRB2 cycle in sync until and unless AutoConfig prompts otherwise. If the opportunity arises, I will change the automation as per the idea I posted a few weeks ago.

And I'm going to keep this journal going instead of starting another one, mainly because I haven't listened to anything since the last run ended. Three weeks rest and it's time to run again.

[ReconGunner]

I would have sworn that I posted since my last, covering the first cycle of this second run. Checking my post history, though, I don't see that post. So, here's the first two cycles:

USLM 2nd run

Cycle 1
ASRB2 5:1

The first night of listening, I had a "back in the Army" dream. Only this time, I was transferred to a base within commute distance from my hometown, and I was pending a promotion to one rank higher than I held when I left the Army.

Obvious connection to the permanent job I applied for.

The next few days I was feeling melancholy. The immediate connection was with changes going on in my life - good changes, but inevitable ones. A bit more conscious about my age, too. That last may be a subconscious financial fear coming to the surface. My conscious reaction isn't fear, though. It's determination and confidence. I have enough time to use time wisely.

I found out that I am getting a pay raise "out of cycle" as a contractor - on the anniversary of the contract, rather than on the anniversary of my joining the contract; now instead of early next year. It's not a large raise, but it is a noticeable one. And I was told that the contractor would be "finding something additional" for me when that personal anniversary arrives next year. I am one of three who got that 'out of cycle" raise. They definitely want to keep us.

I'm getting the urge to start the loops about a half hour earlier. Same number of loops, same volume, same ASRB2, just start 30 min earlier. My reason is that my wife and I have both deeply asleep when our morning alarm goes off. The 30 min shift is to see if USLM has been affecting our sleep patterns.

Cycle 2
ASRB2 5:1

Made the start time change. No change in our sleep patterns. Going to leave the start time as it is now, 30 min earlier than before. Volume and ASRB2 cycle still the same.

The changes that I struggled with have had beneficial side effects. A schedule change I had been looking forward to is now possible sooner than I had expected. And my weekly transportation costs are a bit lower, too.

This isn't just "silver lining" stuff. And it reminds me that money is only one way of measuring success. A valid way, but one of many. Personal examples:

1. I lift weights, and my coach now has me in a good rhythm of small increases every two weeks. That's success in my lifting.
   
2. I have been invited to join a small group of men who meet once a month for coffee and discussion. I haven't had anything like that before. That's success in my social life.
   
3. I have good camaraderie with and the respect of my teammates at work. That's professional success along side of the pay raise.
   

I think I negatively influenced things with my overly ambitious big goal in the first run of USLM. Having dropped that goal - only for now, because it is attainable over a longer period of time - I have gotten out of my own way and USLM can work according to its design.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 3
ASRB2 5:1

Got a small, four-figure sum suddenly. Long expected, on the order of several months, but very sudden. Applied toward one of my two active goals.

Had a small burden of conscience lifted. My buddy at work has another buddy he worked with before who we have tried to get on board with us . The opportunity came this week, but his buddy's current job situation is as good as ours. That was a small burden on my conscience because I didn't know what his current job situation was and we hadn't been able to bring him on. It's good to know that he's in a good spot already. And that leaves the opportunity open for someone else who will need it.

Which reminds me of something I posted at the end of my E5 journal. Life is not naturally a zero sum game. Zero sum games are artificial. For recreational or entertainment competition, that's good. For the lives we live, zero sum games are present and have to be dealt with. But they are all artificial. They obstruct, rather than enable, the best lives we can live.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 4
ASRB2 5:1

Got turned down for the permanent position. Next day, found out about another permanent position that hasn't opened yet. I'll be looking into that one.

Otherwise all quiet.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 5
ASRB2 4:1 (accidental)

Due to my tablet updating, the loops did not run on day 5. I am starting a new ASRB2 cycle a day early as a result.

A couple of minor successes. Another team member got added to our remote work rotation, so I am now going in to the office even less often, saving more on time and transportation costs. And on a conference call today, sitting in for a co-worker, my boss commented that they now had his top guy, in reference to me.

USLM has so far had subtler effects for me. I have long felt that I have struggled against active opposition to any major success. In the context of using USLM, that opposition is less aimed at me directly in a way that would trigger DRS, and more a barrier that prevents me from achieving greater success.

Of course, that 'barrier' could easily be subconscious resistance. I honestly don't know how to tell the difference at this point.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 6
ASRB2 5:1

A rough week.

For context, as mentioned elsewhere, I use the free version of a tool called MacroDroid to automate the loops on my tablet. I haven't set up the more complex programming that I thought about at the end of my first run of USLM. I'm using the same programming I did for that run.

For this run, I made one change. I used a built in command in MacroDroid to set the volume on my tablet before starting the loops, to prevent any accidental volume changes from affecting the loops. I originally set the volume at 75%. At the beginning of this cycle, I increased it to 80%. I'm don't remember exactly why.

BAD move.

By the day after the fourth night, I was feeling physically and mentally beaten. I had failed a couple of personal best attempts in my workouts. A couple of situations that started out positive wound up neutral at best, in a "one step forward/one step back" way. And I was open and vulnerable to a personal attack from an unexpected source - a minor attack, triggered when I attempted sarcasm in a text chat, and the sarcasm was missed by the recipient. A third party in the same chat caught the sarcasm, so it wasn't completely obscure. All of this suggests that my subconscious was either not executing or possibly even "reverse" executing.

Last night I cut the volume down to 2/3 and I slept a lot better. I plan to leave the volume at 2/3 going forward, unless otherwise prompted. And I won't go above 75% unless explicitly told to do so.

There's been a lot said here about volume levels, and how more is almost never better after a certain point. Sadly, I had to learn that lesson first hand.

Lesson is learned.

[ReconGunner]

Supplemental

What a difference!

This weekend is my regularly scheduled turn for the weekend shift. I had an event occur that, to keep it brief, led to me having a conversation with my boss about a key area that has been on my mind recently. The outcome of that conversation was him saying "let's make sure we discuss that at the weekly team meeting this week." It felt like I was back in the saddle.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 7
ASRB2 5:1

Lost part of a set of loops. Had a bad acid reflux attack that had me coughing for a good half hour, in the middle of a night's loops.

I'm cautious about becoming "dependent" on USLM. I use the quotes because I am sure that there's nothing addictive about any of ILM's products. But I am experiencing some concern about how my life will go when I choose to move on from USLM for a while. I know it will largely depend on what I move on to. But if I'm only experiencing day-to-day benefits from USLM, those benefits will fade when I discontinue it. And so far, there is nothing that I can point to as a persistent benefit of USLM that I will carry forward with me.

Still have several cycles left on this run. Now that I've sorted out the volume question, let's see what happens.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 8
ASRB2 5:1

Got some partial extra loops in, because the app I use to automate the loops updated while the loops were running and restarted the program after it updated.

Other than that not much that I noticed. A couple of nights of better/deeper sleep, independent of the extra partial loops.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 8
ASRB2 5:1

A solid cycle of loops - no strange errors. Slept very well.

Good things happening at the level of incremental and longer term benefits - which describes my entire experience for both runs of ULSM. Which is frustrating, because I'm still not able to buy anything for my next sub. I have an opportunity that I haven't pursued that would net me just enough for UD, MHS, or UH. Whether I could allocate that cash for the purpose is an open question.

Related to USLM, I remembered today that I have had two or three occurrences of the same kind of dream. I can't remember the details, even though I tried to as I was waking up. In these dreams, I solved a problem that was on my mind. The solution was complete, and I had absolute confidence that it was correct. But on waking up, I couldn't even remember what the problem was, let alone the solution. I've never had that kind of dream before USLM.

I came into USLM thinking of it as a "mini UMS". I know that is technically not true; while USLM is in UMS, UMS has a *lot* more in it. I also know that both USLM and UMS are producing different results for different people, and in the case of UMS some will need to listen to it longer for UMS to do its work. I wonder if USLM is similar to UMS in that way. That is, for some of us it just takes longer for USLM to do its work because of where we are.

I'll finish this run of USLM - nothing indicates that I should do otherwise. By then, I'll have a clear sense of what to do next.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 9
ASRB2 5:1

Much like the last cycle - sleeping well, no major events.

One minor indicator. I had similar head pressure/trivial pain to what I experienced on E5. I'm hopeful that, after all my flailing about with volume over both runs of USLM, my subconscious is finally engaged fully rather than resisting.

[ReconGunner]

Cycle 10
ASRB2 5:1

Belated report.

Subtle things going on. Reoccurrence of the head pressure/pain. No pattern or consistency. But I feel something shifting within. Only a short time since I got the listening volume sorted out - barely a month.

My only hesitation in a third run of USLM is the possibility of subconscious boredom. A longer break in between runs will likely help with that. Perhaps even a short run of ASC as a "palate cleanser".

But USLM is finally getting traction with me.