I can't understand how in the world can you feel such neediness and portray such beta behavior after almost completing AM. Stage 6 is bringing up lot of issues that need to be addressed and, no wonder, there's been a hell of resistance. SO, I think your beta behavior is the direct byproduct of the unattended issues and resistance, which should go away once you regain your composure.
And, on top of all this shit, you have allowed that girl to act as a stimulus and somewhat become dependent on her, you allowed her to be a part of your reality and not the other way around. If I were you I'd have left that girl, no matter how hard it is, and moved on.
You know, the good thing about girls is that they love to pet you, if you reach any of them with your 'Problem X', they can help you in so many ways, they will calm you, soothe you, support you, BUT given, that the girl, who will act as a counselor, is highly unlikely to go sexual with you.
So, pick up any of your female friend to whom you are attracted but not attached, sexually or otherwise, and OPEN UP to her, let go of yourself in her presence and she'll give all the care in the world you need, and also, let her be the light so you can see what is right for you. Just breathe in her presence and feminine energy and you shall do well.
And, on top of all this shit, you have allowed that girl to act as a stimulus and somewhat become dependent on her, you allowed her to be a part of your reality and not the other way around. If I were you I'd have left that girl, no matter how hard it is, and moved on.
You know, the good thing about girls is that they love to pet you, if you reach any of them with your 'Problem X', they can help you in so many ways, they will calm you, soothe you, support you, BUT given, that the girl, who will act as a counselor, is highly unlikely to go sexual with you.
So, pick up any of your female friend to whom you are attracted but not attached, sexually or otherwise, and OPEN UP to her, let go of yourself in her presence and she'll give all the care in the world you need, and also, let her be the light so you can see what is right for you. Just breathe in her presence and feminine energy and you shall do well.
STRENGTH, above all else..
