I've heard all my life that "money changes people", and as I've been moving along with this last year's investment, the truth in that statement is "money doesn't change people; the responsibility of handling money (or avoiding responsibility) changes people".
This was a big concern pre-UMS, as handling large amounts of money was always linked to fantasy thinking, like "I can hide from life with lots of money". I could do that, but it took so much damn work even imagining it. I have mostly hidden from fears in life. Now seriously, THAT scared me. Having permission and opportunity to hide, in my experience, invites more fear.
I've been seeking out answers to these fears via different investment strategies, and I'm still looking up ideas. I have a solid idea, and the one reason I'm still looking is........it's boring. Not unprofitable, just very, very predictable. I'm seeing I've associated money with a constant hypervigilance which keeps me being even subtly stressed most of the time. Which keeps me heading to work--ughh. Work is not hard where I'm employed, but fear at almost any level is steadily angering me. And this has been my main motivator of achievement at my work. And it's a main reason for fantasizing over quitting.
I'm seeking other's experiences in history or in present life to see how different people think under such changes. I'd also like to thank Shannon for putting in goal #55: Make yourself able to handle and deal with the changes that UMS brings, and do so with ease and confidence.
I'm finding it less stressful to seek out new ideas or possibilities for investments, as real estate is on my radar currently. I watched a webinar last night, and the idea is pretty doable--being a middleman for buyers and sellers.
My last sharing this morning is something which happened maybe 30 minutes ago. I'm on my 2nd rest day, but a real desire built up, and I listened to a single loop. Some emotional stuff was stirring, both before and after, which is why I did this. After listening, I was in the bathroom considering what I'd do today, and I began going back in my thinking like I might just hide today. In fact, I tried going there mentally, and tears surfaced. It felt similar to grieving tears I've felt on other IML subs, and it clicked that UMS is pushing me out of this old way of thinking. I felt the grief of losing ground to old habits of mine. UMS is making change in me. This makes me happy now
This was a big concern pre-UMS, as handling large amounts of money was always linked to fantasy thinking, like "I can hide from life with lots of money". I could do that, but it took so much damn work even imagining it. I have mostly hidden from fears in life. Now seriously, THAT scared me. Having permission and opportunity to hide, in my experience, invites more fear.
I've been seeking out answers to these fears via different investment strategies, and I'm still looking up ideas. I have a solid idea, and the one reason I'm still looking is........it's boring. Not unprofitable, just very, very predictable. I'm seeing I've associated money with a constant hypervigilance which keeps me being even subtly stressed most of the time. Which keeps me heading to work--ughh. Work is not hard where I'm employed, but fear at almost any level is steadily angering me. And this has been my main motivator of achievement at my work. And it's a main reason for fantasizing over quitting.
I'm seeking other's experiences in history or in present life to see how different people think under such changes. I'd also like to thank Shannon for putting in goal #55: Make yourself able to handle and deal with the changes that UMS brings, and do so with ease and confidence.
I'm finding it less stressful to seek out new ideas or possibilities for investments, as real estate is on my radar currently. I watched a webinar last night, and the idea is pretty doable--being a middleman for buyers and sellers.
My last sharing this morning is something which happened maybe 30 minutes ago. I'm on my 2nd rest day, but a real desire built up, and I listened to a single loop. Some emotional stuff was stirring, both before and after, which is why I did this. After listening, I was in the bathroom considering what I'd do today, and I began going back in my thinking like I might just hide today. In fact, I tried going there mentally, and tears surfaced. It felt similar to grieving tears I've felt on other IML subs, and it clicked that UMS is pushing me out of this old way of thinking. I felt the grief of losing ground to old habits of mine. UMS is making change in me. This makes me happy now
I want to be FREE!
