07-31-2016, 07:41 AM
(07-30-2016, 11:27 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: Okay, I'm really glad I read the above quoted posts. During stage 1, I felt a huge depression that I attributed partially to BASE stage 1, but in the back of my mind, I had wondered if the depression was purely of my own making. I was suicidal at around day 19. I'm glad you guys mentioned your experiences, because it makes me feel a little bit more "sane", and the sub was just severely challenging some deep rooted beliefs.
Oh man, I also had suicidal thoughts during the first stages of my first run. I am almost sure I had them to a lesser degree in my other runs as well, I was just prepared better and already accepting that the only way out is to let/make the changes happen.
In retrospect this was my unconscious mind's last-ditch effort to regain "control" and not make the needed adjustments, even at the cost of killing me, I guess. ("adjustments" might be putting it mildly given their scope, though) I only became stronger in the long run, but back then it was really made out to seem like the end of the world.
As Shannon said somewhere, depression is the last stage of resistance before the unconscious mind gives up. Whoever defined suicidal thoughts as a mental issue in all probability never ran subs. Around here, apparently they are to be interpreted as positive feedback... lol. A bit dangerous statement, but appears to be true in my experience.
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Anyway, fascinating manifestation reports, heavysm, happy for you. Did you do such experiments during your first BASE run as well?
I've always felt a significant part of my luck during BASE was due to me putting myself out there (i.e. the other programming + my free will) rather than any manifesting technology inside the sub. Can't really know for sure, especially with that naturalizer in place, but it did seem that way.
