08-31-2015, 03:37 PM
Well, I just finished doing about 90 days (not consistently since I went on two weeks of AM6 Refresher early due to what I think was resistance nagging me to change from EPRHA) of EPRHA and thought I would Review it here.This will be a long and detailed review. The first 45 days of the program where actually quiet peaceful and serene. The 45 days I did after my little trip down AM6 refresher lane was not. It was actually filled with lots of Anger and rage. This anger and rage wasn't towards someone in the present but towards people in my past that wronged me very badly. These memories would keep on coming up and at times it was hard to deal with them but I pressed on. Over time I noticed that the first batch of flash backs I kept on having started to happen less frequently and get replaced by other memories that needed healing. I guess this was EPRHA's way of bringing these memories to the surface to get dealt with little by little.
There was one particular memory that brought out a lot of pain and anger that almost made me want to stop the program again. As many of you might know based on entries in my AM6 journal I left out of the military early because of almost attempted suicide attempts due to people abusing their power of rank over me. It was a couple of days after my 3rd attempt and it was already confirmed that I was pretty much getting out of the Navy. I was sitting at a desk and over heard my Chief and the person who almost made me try my latest attempt talking only a few feet away. To make a long story short he was essentially indirectly making fun of the fact that she almost made me commit suicide with her. The interesting thing about this memory is that at the time the event happened I was disappointed and angry for about a day or two but didn't think much about afterwards. Apparently since EPRHA brought it up I was still very angry and hurt about it but not consciously as much. I noticed this same thing with other memories that came up as well. I still have some of those memories come up and there is still a lot of anger and rage but the memories are definitely less frequent due to EPRHA.
The other thing EPRHA helped out with was making me come to realize things about my current way of thinking. There were two "aha" moments in particular that I believe came about due to the manifestation element of EPRHA. There was one time I was reading manga and there was this one character that I despised with a passion because he was acting so irrational in response to certain circumstances in his life. As I read this story my mind just sort of said, "your exactly like this character". After that realization I was able to see that I pretty much have some sort of Misanthropic mentality due to my repressed anger and pain from traumatizing events in my past. This realization really helped me to see that behavior as irrational though and stop trying to rationalize it with some weird twist of logic.
The second "aha" moment kinda of happened out of no where but it helped nonetheless. I came to the realization as to why I have kept a lot of the anger within me. I remembered in junior high that after being made fun of a while I decided to try to use the anger as a way to fuel my way to success. So I would actually almost nurture the anger so I could use it to push me forward. Unfortunately, I believe I kinda of lost control of it after a while. If more than anything nurturing that anger just made things worse. All it did was make me Misanthropic, depressed, and give me lots of hatred from running off it.
As for the other stuff in EPRHA, my guilt is practically non existent and I barely feel shame at all. AM6 already dealt with those two pretty well but EPRHA just reinforced it. There is still fear but not by much. Right now I feel like I have a good handle on my emotional state except for the anger and rage. I think that's the only thing keeping me from mastering my emotional state at the moment. I've also noticed that the memories that were coming up during the end of the program weren't even really bad memories and I as getting angry at people in my past that didn't even wrong me in anyway. Hence, confirming for me that I have some sort of Misanthropy. Therefore because of this my next sub in a couple of days is probably going to be Anger Management to help clear out the remaining garbage that is in my head so I can move on and have more success with the subs I really want to do (AM6, AYP,etc).
Overall, I would definitely rate this Sub very high. It really helped with somethings and with things that it couldn't help with (the actual anger and rage) it did help point me to the next sub to get that taken care of. I might, depending on results from Anger Management, do EPRHA 2.0 as well in a couple of months if its out by then since I read it had a line in there concerning anger and a few other things that might be beneficial for me.
There was one particular memory that brought out a lot of pain and anger that almost made me want to stop the program again. As many of you might know based on entries in my AM6 journal I left out of the military early because of almost attempted suicide attempts due to people abusing their power of rank over me. It was a couple of days after my 3rd attempt and it was already confirmed that I was pretty much getting out of the Navy. I was sitting at a desk and over heard my Chief and the person who almost made me try my latest attempt talking only a few feet away. To make a long story short he was essentially indirectly making fun of the fact that she almost made me commit suicide with her. The interesting thing about this memory is that at the time the event happened I was disappointed and angry for about a day or two but didn't think much about afterwards. Apparently since EPRHA brought it up I was still very angry and hurt about it but not consciously as much. I noticed this same thing with other memories that came up as well. I still have some of those memories come up and there is still a lot of anger and rage but the memories are definitely less frequent due to EPRHA.
The other thing EPRHA helped out with was making me come to realize things about my current way of thinking. There were two "aha" moments in particular that I believe came about due to the manifestation element of EPRHA. There was one time I was reading manga and there was this one character that I despised with a passion because he was acting so irrational in response to certain circumstances in his life. As I read this story my mind just sort of said, "your exactly like this character". After that realization I was able to see that I pretty much have some sort of Misanthropic mentality due to my repressed anger and pain from traumatizing events in my past. This realization really helped me to see that behavior as irrational though and stop trying to rationalize it with some weird twist of logic.
The second "aha" moment kinda of happened out of no where but it helped nonetheless. I came to the realization as to why I have kept a lot of the anger within me. I remembered in junior high that after being made fun of a while I decided to try to use the anger as a way to fuel my way to success. So I would actually almost nurture the anger so I could use it to push me forward. Unfortunately, I believe I kinda of lost control of it after a while. If more than anything nurturing that anger just made things worse. All it did was make me Misanthropic, depressed, and give me lots of hatred from running off it.
As for the other stuff in EPRHA, my guilt is practically non existent and I barely feel shame at all. AM6 already dealt with those two pretty well but EPRHA just reinforced it. There is still fear but not by much. Right now I feel like I have a good handle on my emotional state except for the anger and rage. I think that's the only thing keeping me from mastering my emotional state at the moment. I've also noticed that the memories that were coming up during the end of the program weren't even really bad memories and I as getting angry at people in my past that didn't even wrong me in anyway. Hence, confirming for me that I have some sort of Misanthropy. Therefore because of this my next sub in a couple of days is probably going to be Anger Management to help clear out the remaining garbage that is in my head so I can move on and have more success with the subs I really want to do (AM6, AYP,etc).
Overall, I would definitely rate this Sub very high. It really helped with somethings and with things that it couldn't help with (the actual anger and rage) it did help point me to the next sub to get that taken care of. I might, depending on results from Anger Management, do EPRHA 2.0 as well in a couple of months if its out by then since I read it had a line in there concerning anger and a few other things that might be beneficial for me.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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