EPHRA 4.0 Journal

[tolgaocal80]

most people especially female ones use manipulation almost every social interaction, well I can say you at first this makes you think, they think after you, but this is not true.

it is very hard to notice manipulation if you don't want to see that way,
certainly E4 can clear all this, but it is better open your eyes for it

[Rusty]

edit, not hijacking tholt threat

[THolt]

Not noticing much on hybrid except for really intense dreams. Sleep hasn’t been an issue this week.

I think a lot is going on under the surface. I have to remind myself that this is a 8 month journey.

One thing I have noticed is that I dread running the program every night.

[THolt]

So today begins my 3 day break. This was my first week with hybrid and I noticed my dreams have been more intense. I have had a couple of nightmares. I didn’t have these on mask. My sleep has been good with hybrid. I listen to it at night via my phone speakers by my bed. Also I notice that each day I dreaded running the sub and looked forward to my 3 day break.

I have Also noticed intense anger at times this week. Perhaps the sub is hitting something hard. Overall I feel Iike the results are subtle thus far. I only notice something when looking back. We will see what happens.

[THolt]

Today I start my next ASRB2 cycle.

The past three days I notice I have been sleeping a lot. Even today I feel very tired and run down even though I have not run the program.

Apart of me thinks this might be COVID due to the fatigue but I haven’t gone anywhere or been around people in awhile.

If this is resistance then this means the program is working very well

[THolt]

So far in this new cycle, E4 seems to be flying under the radar. Not noticing much.

[THolt]

Today begins my 3 day break. I slept for 9-10 hours and had very vivid dreams. Other than that not noticing much. Running the hybrid format doesn’t negatively affect my sleep.

I begin my next ASRB2 on Wednesday.

[THolt]

Today begins my new ASRB2 cycle. Tbh I am not looking forward to running it. It will be interesting to see what the program digs up this go around!!

[THolt]

Today I woke up feeling dizzy and tired. The dizziness is not bad but it comes and goes. So does the fatigue.  I wonder if the dizziness is resistance related. I hardly ever feel dizzy.

I have been having really intense and vivid dreams. Other than that I feel like the program is making slow and steady progress. Bit by bit.

Next week will be 2 months running the program. It feels like I have been running E4 longer than that. Only 6 more months until I do a complete through. We will see what happens.

[THolt]

E4 must be really digging up some stuff. Slept really hard last night. Today I feel somewhat dizzy, loopy, and dissociated. Apart of me is wanting me to quit the sub and switch to something else. Of course this could be the detox module too. I recall feeling similarly when I ran UD a few years back

I can say after starting hybrid a few weeks ago, I dread running the sub and look forward to my days off.

[THolt]

@Shannon

Does all of the exhaustion I have had the past few days mean the program is doing something?

It’s hard to tell at times.

[Shannon]

@Shannon

Does all of the exhaustion I have had the past few days mean the program is doing something?

It’s hard to tell at times.

Would you be feeling that exhaustion if you weren't running the program?  If not, then the program is doing something that's using up a lot of energy.  Most likely working its way through a protective layer to something that needs to be dealt with, healed and/or resolved.

[THolt]

So I began my new ASRB2 cycle yesterday. The past couple days I have noticed some nausea. When I sat down to eat on Thanksgiving, I suddenly lost my appetite and had nausea. I thought maybe it was COVID but I haven’t been anywhere really. Today I feel a little better.

I noticed during my E3 run last year the same nausea that would come and go. It eventually went away but only after I caved in and stopped running E3. I won’t be doing that now.

[Shannon]

Nausea is a pretty good sign that someone somewhere inside you has to face a deep, very intense fear. It means you're working with your basic and primal fears now. That's actually good news, even if the process isn't necessarily fun.