02-17-2017, 07:40 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-17-2017, 08:46 PM by destinedtochange.)
So here I am now at work and can't speak to anyone....I am frozen, I want to talk and join in on a conversation but am frozen, .....that fear oh God that fear; irrational fears......also hate not being acknowledged....even with a girl that jokes with me I am afraid of joining the party of conversation....hope EPHRA will pull through with this....I only listened to about 7 hours I think last night...
My main problem is speaking up fearing rejection of thoughts not being acknowledged I think....
UPDATE: What I feared of having the dining out bs with the workers and crew didnt turn out so bad....I was still a bit edgy but when the attention focused on me as we were chit chatting waiting for our meals at Chilis, I felt calm and neutral I guess...I still couldnt join in on the topic that was being discussed at the dinner table , in fact, one of my attempts to try to be funny with 2 girls sitting across from me at the table where I work, really got a 'uhh ok' kinda reaction....but earlier in the morning what I forgot to mention was a sense of fear of reaching out for help when I needed it....I need to get help when I need it and not stay quiet trying to fix it on my own....thats the problem I suffered as a kid in school was very quiet and never reaching out to people when I needed help also because of possible fears....But I did become a little bit more loose and open conversational for a short period I guess when the topic was on me. I also sometimes make people laugh but that is when I am not trying to be funny, and when I try, it is like crickets chirping and "I am going to move to that table" kind of reaction....
My debilitating social skills my whole life has made me into a person that has no adapted built experience with being funny and during any attempts to be funny, it comes out awkward or weird
My main problem is speaking up fearing rejection of thoughts not being acknowledged I think....
UPDATE: What I feared of having the dining out bs with the workers and crew didnt turn out so bad....I was still a bit edgy but when the attention focused on me as we were chit chatting waiting for our meals at Chilis, I felt calm and neutral I guess...I still couldnt join in on the topic that was being discussed at the dinner table , in fact, one of my attempts to try to be funny with 2 girls sitting across from me at the table where I work, really got a 'uhh ok' kinda reaction....but earlier in the morning what I forgot to mention was a sense of fear of reaching out for help when I needed it....I need to get help when I need it and not stay quiet trying to fix it on my own....thats the problem I suffered as a kid in school was very quiet and never reaching out to people when I needed help also because of possible fears....But I did become a little bit more loose and open conversational for a short period I guess when the topic was on me. I also sometimes make people laugh but that is when I am not trying to be funny, and when I try, it is like crickets chirping and "I am going to move to that table" kind of reaction....
My debilitating social skills my whole life has made me into a person that has no adapted built experience with being funny and during any attempts to be funny, it comes out awkward or weird
