01-11-2016, 08:52 PM
(01-11-2016, 07:27 AM)Spiral Wrote: Mat, nice track. I can't give you much criticism because I don't compose myself yet, which is something I plan to save time for in the coming years. However, I do have some things I could suggest for you while you are on your path to becoming a recognized composer in the video game industry.
Also, how do you feel after running EPRHA for the last 2 months? You have feelings of welcoming others into your life? The genuine desire to try to grow relationships? Are you better towards yourself?
Thanks. I'm open to any and all suggestions so feel free to let me know.
There's been progress. It just seems like the deeper I go I uncover darker parts of myself that I kept hidden. So it feels a bit like getting worse at times. I'm definitely better towards myself and it's become a lot easier to see all the negative perceptions about myself as just negativity that needs to be released. But there's just some days where I slip up and fall into self loathing and isolation. It's those days where I can't really pull myself out of it that really make me feel worse about myself.
My interpersonal relationships are still my weakest point. Part of that is the fear that once people get to really know me they'll get tired of me and leave me. I guess you could say I've gotten really good at surface level interactions with people, but deep down I still think there's something seriously wrong with me.
Sometimes it feels like I'm not making a dent in this stuff. But then I realize I have changed for the better, just not in drastic life changing ways. I consistently remind myself every day that I'm still moving forward because it's way too easy to get caught up in the hopelessness mindset and ruminate endlessly.
