03-29-2016, 06:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2016, 06:14 PM by AlphaScorpio.)
Day 59
It's been a tricky couple of weeks, I have had lots of anger come up sociopathic feelings even, issues to do with taking responsibility have been illuminating as yesterday I decided after an argument with parents to make a phone call to a guy who can hook me up with some practical work, I'm going over to his house to discuss tomorrow morning at 9AM, this guy is actually my counselor/mentor who just happens to be a DIY/hands on kind of person who's passionate about doing practical constructive jobs, I think he'd be a good influence for me and I am grateful that he's offered me this chance to work with him.
I've always known that I don't want to work in a 9-5 environment, I've had bad experiences in the past working under certain managers. But now I am making it happen, now I am deciding to get on with doing some work even if it is "Unofficial" in other words I don't need paper work and I won't receive a p45 if I quit.
My goals at the moment are to develop a better attitude towards work, routine and relationship with my parents (and family in general) one that is based on mutual respect with the end goal in mind that I gradually become more and more self sufficient and move into my own place, I want to be treated like an adult rather than a moody teenager with a bad attitude, but it's ME that has to change this attitude.
Some things I have noticed;
-Realizing that I am wrong and negative about many things in life (mainly due to attitude).
-Realizing that I am truly the only one who can change my circumstances, opportunities will present themselves but it's only I that can take them.
-Noticing and becoming more aware about how my actions, vibe, attention affects those around me and wanting to change that to create a better environment for myself and the people around me.
-Feeling fear, feeling frustration guilt even at times too.
-Fear of becoming a sociopath/narcissist or a freak.
In other news my Phero XS order arrived with the following;
-Ascend
-Cohesion
-Evolve
-Bliss sample
-Vibe sample
Will be testing mainly ascend + evolve at first.
It's been a tricky couple of weeks, I have had lots of anger come up sociopathic feelings even, issues to do with taking responsibility have been illuminating as yesterday I decided after an argument with parents to make a phone call to a guy who can hook me up with some practical work, I'm going over to his house to discuss tomorrow morning at 9AM, this guy is actually my counselor/mentor who just happens to be a DIY/hands on kind of person who's passionate about doing practical constructive jobs, I think he'd be a good influence for me and I am grateful that he's offered me this chance to work with him.
I've always known that I don't want to work in a 9-5 environment, I've had bad experiences in the past working under certain managers. But now I am making it happen, now I am deciding to get on with doing some work even if it is "Unofficial" in other words I don't need paper work and I won't receive a p45 if I quit.
My goals at the moment are to develop a better attitude towards work, routine and relationship with my parents (and family in general) one that is based on mutual respect with the end goal in mind that I gradually become more and more self sufficient and move into my own place, I want to be treated like an adult rather than a moody teenager with a bad attitude, but it's ME that has to change this attitude.
Some things I have noticed;
-Realizing that I am wrong and negative about many things in life (mainly due to attitude).
-Realizing that I am truly the only one who can change my circumstances, opportunities will present themselves but it's only I that can take them.
-Noticing and becoming more aware about how my actions, vibe, attention affects those around me and wanting to change that to create a better environment for myself and the people around me.
-Feeling fear, feeling frustration guilt even at times too.
-Fear of becoming a sociopath/narcissist or a freak.
In other news my Phero XS order arrived with the following;
-Ascend
-Cohesion
-Evolve
-Bliss sample
-Vibe sample
Will be testing mainly ascend + evolve at first.
