05-08-2019, 11:36 AM
Day 39:
I had a hard time getting myself out of bed today, and then after a bit, went back to bed. I don't like living this way, but I'm afraid to change. It's like... actually living life scares me or something, and I don't look forward to it but want to put it off as much as possible. It's like all I wanna do really is be unconscious. I never look forward to waking up and getting out of bed and I always feel like I want to go back.
And now I'm having gum/tooth problems on top of all this. I wish there were some magic pill I could take that would just solve all these problems and allow me to enjoy life, but it's like I can't enjoy it. It's like all I can do is get through it.
I had a hard time getting myself out of bed today, and then after a bit, went back to bed. I don't like living this way, but I'm afraid to change. It's like... actually living life scares me or something, and I don't look forward to it but want to put it off as much as possible. It's like all I wanna do really is be unconscious. I never look forward to waking up and getting out of bed and I always feel like I want to go back.
And now I'm having gum/tooth problems on top of all this. I wish there were some magic pill I could take that would just solve all these problems and allow me to enjoy life, but it's like I can't enjoy it. It's like all I can do is get through it.
