04-02-2019, 04:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-02-2019, 04:24 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Had this very big profound experience while getting high a couple days ago that made me feel much better. I focused on UNCONDITIONALLY loving all the people whose bridges I've burned or who've burned their bridges with me, saw myself as an eternal being and decided that the love I had for them was eternal and they will one day evolve to a point where they accept that love, which is eternally on the table and that all other things are like the grass that blooms, withers and dies in its season only to grow once again due to the infinite love and light of the One Creator. Also I came to the realization that my insecurities were the source of everything that drove those most important to me away, so if I just love myself more and get rid of that, everything else I have to offer will be good. It was a really impactful experience!
...but now I'm sober, and I don't feel it anymore. I'm still feeling better than I'd been, but I still have a lot of healing to do. I try to focus on loving these people who want nothing to do with me, but I feel so much pain when I think about it that that's all I end up feeling. I need to love myself first, then it will be easier to love others.
I don't notice any effects from the sub, although I am feeling better than I'd felt in a while, but I dunno if that's the sub or not. I've only been running the sub for less than a week, so I expect it'll kick in more later.
...but now I'm sober, and I don't feel it anymore. I'm still feeling better than I'd been, but I still have a lot of healing to do. I try to focus on loving these people who want nothing to do with me, but I feel so much pain when I think about it that that's all I end up feeling. I need to love myself first, then it will be easier to love others.
I don't notice any effects from the sub, although I am feeling better than I'd felt in a while, but I dunno if that's the sub or not. I've only been running the sub for less than a week, so I expect it'll kick in more later.
