05-20-2019, 06:00 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-20-2019, 06:01 AM by Determined.)
Been a while.
I've grown alot and changed alot since I was a forum regular here one year ago. I have recently hit a low point which isn't really that low but does feel like it.
I'm experiencing great success in my profession, the best it's ever been and it's only going to get better. I put alot of time and effort into cultivating myself, my skills and habits. The only downside is that I've let my relationships atrophy. It's a fine line between pursuing success and sharing it with those around us.
I guess what's really getting me down is not having a significant other in my life. Might be that "improve relationship" module in LTU but I'm really feeling it. I've been really picky with women, putting a wall up when they approach. It's kept me aloof and somewhat enigmatic. This would work dazzlingly well for me in the past when I was really handsome and cool. Now that I'm older it's a different vibe.
The other realisation I had today was becoming aware of how important it is to live for the now. I've been spending too much time in my mind and focusing on where I'm going instead of enjoying what I have. It's not much compared to what I want (is it ever?)
Change is the only constant in life. We only pass this way once. In the past I would think "living" meant going off the rails but it's not. That was a foolish delusion. True living is understanding that we're here having a human experience and allowing ourselves to experience the multitude of what's on offer. That means being who we want to be.
I'll take some extra paper and a pen with me tomorrow when I go to study in the library. I'll have a good long think about what it is I want to create and what I want to create myself into. So far being a dedicated professional is responsible albeit quite boring. My creation needs more zest!
I've grown alot and changed alot since I was a forum regular here one year ago. I have recently hit a low point which isn't really that low but does feel like it.
I'm experiencing great success in my profession, the best it's ever been and it's only going to get better. I put alot of time and effort into cultivating myself, my skills and habits. The only downside is that I've let my relationships atrophy. It's a fine line between pursuing success and sharing it with those around us.
I guess what's really getting me down is not having a significant other in my life. Might be that "improve relationship" module in LTU but I'm really feeling it. I've been really picky with women, putting a wall up when they approach. It's kept me aloof and somewhat enigmatic. This would work dazzlingly well for me in the past when I was really handsome and cool. Now that I'm older it's a different vibe.
The other realisation I had today was becoming aware of how important it is to live for the now. I've been spending too much time in my mind and focusing on where I'm going instead of enjoying what I have. It's not much compared to what I want (is it ever?)
Change is the only constant in life. We only pass this way once. In the past I would think "living" meant going off the rails but it's not. That was a foolish delusion. True living is understanding that we're here having a human experience and allowing ourselves to experience the multitude of what's on offer. That means being who we want to be.
I'll take some extra paper and a pen with me tomorrow when I go to study in the library. I'll have a good long think about what it is I want to create and what I want to create myself into. So far being a dedicated professional is responsible albeit quite boring. My creation needs more zest!
