Delta's AM6 Journal

[TangoDelta]

Ok so the speaker came today; pretty sure I got a bad one. Without playing any music or subs, just from turning it on, there's a high pitch sound. At first it was borderline ultrasonic, but now it's come down in frequency, so it's even easier to hear. I'm probably gonna return this.

And I can hear the ultrasonic version of the sub on my Macbook Pro speakers. Guess I'll just stick with headphones and the masked versions.

[TangoDelta]

I've got the perfect excuse to not workout tonight. We've got a cabin in the Wisconsin Dells, and at least 30 of us are going. My roomate/workout buddy is skipping working out to leave early; I'm staying behind and leaving much later so I can workout. I told him workingout is number 2 on my priority list and am not going to have any excuses to skip a day.

[Spiritman]

Ok so the speaker came today; pretty sure I got a bad one. Without playing any music or subs, just from turning it on, there's a high pitch sound. At first it was borderline ultrasonic, but now it's come down in frequency, so it's even easier to hear. I'm probably gonna return this.

And I can hear the ultrasonic version of the sub on my Macbook Pro speakers. Guess I'll just stick with headphones and the masked versions.

If you need some decent speakers, I got these from Amazon. These speakers are for iPods, if you have one. They meet the requirement for the frequency response, plus they're portable. Speaker link

[TangoDelta]

Hey thanks for the recommendation. (I wish there was a list of them lol)

How useful is it though? As in, I'm pretty sure headphones are the best thing to use; and I actually haven't had problems sleeping in the the past two nights. So if I used the speaker over night, how much exposure should you aim for with headphones throughout the day?

[Spiritman]

Hey thanks for the recommendation. (I wish there was a list of them lol)

How useful is it though? As in, I'm pretty sure headphones are the best thing to use; and I actually haven't had problems sleeping in the the past two nights. So if I used the speaker over night, how much exposure should you aim for with headphones throughout the day?

Yes IMO headphones are the best way to get the full results. I usually play a track with headphones for about 2-3 hours. Then I will play that same track on the speakers all night. When I am able to play the track more on the headphones(when I have a day or two off from work), I will go for 4-6 hours. Then I will play the track on the speakers all night.

[swisston]

I just leave it on the speakers as much as possible. I also play it on the iPad or phone speaker whenever possible if I am doing things out of the office/bedroom. I can't stand listening to that trickling stream any more

[TangoDelta]

Haha well, if the day comes that I get sick of the stream and headphones, I'll buy that iPod dock. I've been doing ok with sleeping with them in and now that school has started, whenever I study, I have headphones in.

Things are going pretty well though. I feel like I'm in control of my life, very optimistic about the future, and can accomplish anything.

[TangoDelta]

Just more words of wisdom from Shannon that really hit home for me.

"you can't **** a woman into being faithful".

I was hoping to be able to do that at one point. Once I read that, the light turned on.

[Shannon]

Glad I could save you the trouble I had to go through to figure that out.

[FREAK4LIFE]

Glad I could save you the trouble I had to go through to figure that out.

Shannon, I can't seem to find your threads about Alpha Male and Sex Magnet? Could you direct me to those please? Thanks.

[Shannon]

You might want to try searching with Google. We have had a terrible time trying to make the forum search function work the way we want it. But I have a lot of threads, and I have posted in almost every thread that ever existed... I have over 9,500 posts... so I don't know where they are any better than you do.

[TangoDelta]

If it matters, the thread that my quote came from is:

http://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Reques...Lover-Ever

There's not much there though.

[TangoDelta]

It feels like the changes in me are slowing down; which makes sense since I start stage 2 in three days.

On my way to work/class this morning, I made very strong eye contact with a girl. I never would have done anything close to that before. I still feel a little intimidated (by her) when I think about that moment. Her eyes were gorgeous light blue. I think she was beautiful lol, she had a hat on so it's hard to tell. My problem was that I broke eye contact first. But, since we were passing each other on the sidewalk, I didn't wanna turn my head 90 degrees and make it obvious to keep holding it with her. Should I have done that? Or would that be weird? I hope to see her around campus again sometime.
Then throughout the day I've made and held eye contact with less attractive (but still good looking) girls and they break it off first. (I'm less intimidated)
I felt good. I'll remember that for a very long time, maybe forever.

That's one external change I've noticed about myself. Usually I'd be the one to look away right away, or first.

Still working out and have put up with no excuses to miss a day. School is going well too (even thought it's only the second week lol). I'm proud of myself...for the first time in at least 5 years.

[TangoDelta]

Alright, I think I've got some definitive proof that this sub is changing me.

We went out with a very small group of friends that we don't see very often. There was this pretty hot girl sitting at the bar with her friend. I just walked up, grabbed her drink and took a sip. The actual words that were said are unimportant; but she started talking to me, then turned, in her chair, towards me, and kept talking. (I honestly don't remember exactly what was said, I just remember the interaction) Then she started giving me some shit. I played it off so damn well, I was so proud of myself. I wasn't phased or hurt or offended or nothin'. It was awesome. Then some guy came up, I think it was her brother, and I started talking to him a bit, then returned to my friends. Maybe it's because I'm not trying to get laid that this is all going so well. I'm honestly just trying to work on my social skills.

There was this other girl who's brother was in my grade in high school and she was a year younger than us I think. I talked to her for a very brief moment, gave her little tease, then walked away. Later on, on our way out of the bar, I saw her again and I said something and she said "Don't walk away." So I walked away and went to the next bar lol. I really feel like I've let go of the neediness. I'm just living in the moment and enjoying myself.

(Guess I'll just make this one long journal while I'm at it)

Wasn't going to write about this, but while I'm on the subject of girls, I'll just throw it in.
This happened earlier that day while I was at work. I check on the computer kiosks all around our campus (for my job) and I had to take the bus to the satellite dorms. On my way back, I step off the bus and there was this super hot brunette. She looked beautiful and youthful is the best way I can say it. I step off and make eye contact with her. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but maybe I caught her by surprise. She looked quite flustered, then I'm pretty sure she did a body scan of me. She looked down and right back up at my eyes. If she really was scanning me, I've never had that happen before. It sucks that it all happened so fast. I should have said something at least. If I see her again, I'm going to. I don't know what, but I'm gonna say something.

I think I really have noticed more looks from girls. The only reason I would hesitate to say that though is because it's something I'm expecting, so maybe it's just in my head. That's what I thought at first. Because when I'm sittin' down at a table or a computer or anywhere, I naturally look at a person when they walk by. I know for sure everyone else does that too. Working at the computer help desk, we have to do our "rounds" in the library, and people always look at you. So that's why I really wasn't convinced that I was getting more looks from girls. But now I can see that I truly am.

Stage two starts tomorrow; I'm looking forward to that. I usually don't like to change things or move up the ladder until I feel ready. And I feel like I'm ready for the next step in becoming alpha. Things I've noticed that have changed:

--I'm very much more appreciative of everything I have - friends (the big one), job, family - I can't explain it. I'm so thankful for it all, sometimes I feel like I could cry. It's overwhelming.
--Coming off of that, I'm much more happy with myself.
--Procrastination has been significantly reduced (yesterday I didn't workout, have to make that up today)
--More comfortable in social situations and/or being alone
--Body language has much improved
--Negative self-talk has been reduced by at least 90%.
--Bad thoughts have also been significantly reduced (And by that I mean picturing my ex-girlfriend whom I live with gettin' nailed by her current and new boyfriend.)

On that subject, I still see her around the house, but not often. I hear her all the time though. When I see her now, I'm not sad/mad/frustrated. I feel almost no connection to her anymore. Time heals the wounds, but I think this sub helped with that too. The only thing I think that would really get to me would be if I heard her having sex. That would be a knife in the chest, I'm pretty sure. I should get some noise canceling headphones in case that every happens lol. My dilemma is, that I don't want to hear that, but I don't think she would care if she heard me having sex with a girl. But, unless she agrees that she won't bring her boyfriend to the house (he lives on the other side of the country -_-) and I can bring girls over, that would be fine. I just don't want to be a hypocrite, like she is. Whatever, it's not important, enough about that. In summary, I feel very disconnected and free from her.

The one thing I really wish I could change would be on the subject of sleeping. Every morning, I "wake up" and feel like I was hit by a train. My eyes are so darn heavy, and I feel like a log. I wish I could wake up and instantly feel refreshed and ready to take on the day. I don't think the sub is the root cause, but it is contributing. It seriously takes me more effort to get out of bed at 7am than it does to workout and lift weights for an hour. My life would be so much better if every morning wasn't an internal WWIII to either risk it and be late for work, or sleep for an extra 20 minutes and not eat breakfast. I don't know how to fix it or find the discipline to just get out of bed. I've said to myself, just do it; don't even think. But no, it's not possible for me. It's ridiculous.