01-20-2014, 04:26 PM
Alright, feeling much better today. I've actually gotten stuff accomplished. Now I'm just waiting for my roommate to get home so we can workout. I'm actually looking forward to it today because we are starting our second cycle of the program. Could the surprise in AM6 have to do with working out?
And I think I'm finally getting over my ex-girlfriend. I see her around the house, and I really just don't care anymore. Of course it still sucks sometimes doing things alone, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of my life and trying to forget about the past and everything I've messed up, because I know I can't change that. I can only change the future.
I've decided to not put up my whole journal from when I started AM6 because it's pretty long and no one cares and it's not worth reading. I'm only going to post the most important parts.
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Tuesday Decmeber 31st 2013
I'm also reading the How to Become an Alpha Male book that's recommended in the instructions. I copied this out of the book…it definitely describes me with Steph.
*****************
"(And by the way, if a woman comes onto you who's in a relationship, mark my words... if she doesn't have sex with you, then she'll find some other guy to hook up with and satisfy her carnal desires. Her current boyfriend is unsatisfying to her or else she wouldn't be flirting with other guys.)"
*****************
I would barely initiate sex with her. We never had it, it was terrible.
Another great (large) quote from the book.
*****************
Nice guys also have issues with jealousy, born out of their insecurity. They are too outwardly-dependent; all their happiness comes from the woman. They don’t want her talking to other guys for fear she’ll run off and he’ll lose his source of happiness.
You see, the problem with the feelings of jealousy that so many beta males have about their women is that it comes from a position of neediness. So whenever you feel that way with a girl, suck it up and let those feeling go.
When a girl detects a guy is jealous, it's as if he's saying to her, "Hey, I feel inferior to those other dudes you're talking to."
And having that lack of confidence in yourself makes the chick not feel so confident in you, either. She begins to wonder whether the grass is greener in other pastures.
I know it's tough to not feel jealous, but look at it this way: if you knew that you were the shit and that you can attract hot babes and get laid easily, would you care that your girl is going off and talking with some other guys? Of course not, because that would be her loss (and you could just get laid from some other chick)!
****************
Exactly how I feel/felt.
----------------------------
Saturday January 4 2014
I made Steph breakfast this morning. I enjoy doing it, I just wish I was cooking for my girlfriend. If I had been like this for the past two years, things would be very different, and better. Blake Shelton's song Maybe She Wouldn't Be Gone perfectly describes our relationship. I never realized or knew what that song meant until she left me.
The big story of the day is that I finally did what I've been wanting to do for years. I called, in order, my dad (he was the hardest to do this for), my mom but had to leave a message (I've already told this to her though so it's not so bad), my grandma, my sister, and my brother. I told them all that I love them. I haven't told them, except my mom, that I love them in years, and I do see them multiple times per year. I cried so hard and for so long after I talked to my dad. It feels good to have finally done that.
--------------------------
Tuesday January 7 2014
Had my first dream in weeks that I can actually remember. I was trapped in a building, somehow escaped, and was on the run from people (children actually) trying to catch me to take me back. I was running through and hiding in the woods of my elementary school. Eventually when I ran far enough I found out it was a Blink-182 music video. WTF!? What's My Age Again? Maybe it's me trying to grow up?
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Sunday January 12 2014
Went out with the friends last night. Approached and talked to two black girls. Never thought I would ever have done something like that. No phone number or anything; I'm not even looking for that. I'm just proud of myself for at least walking over there and talking to them. Maybe because I'm still heartbroken and don't even wanna bring a girl home, it makes talking to them easier lol. I also didn't get anything done on my to-do list this weekend, but I got other stuff done. Oh well.
-------------------------
Monday January 13 2014
I don't dream, or just can't remember them, when I sleep with the headphones in. I wake up at like 5am and take them off. So when I did that, I had my first sex dream in a very very long time. It was awesome. It was sort of like a James Bond thing. Felt like crap today too (maybe didn't get enough sleep) but still worked out. Wish I had this drive and motivation the past 4 years of my life. What a waste. From here on out, this is how I want and should be like.
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Wednesday January 15 2014
Steph told me one of the big reasons she broke up with me is because I'm bad at sex. I know she's right, I'm surely hoping AM6 will help with that. But holy god does that hurt and cut me deep, especially because she told me her new guy made her squirt. I always wanted to be able to do that. This is really making me depressed.
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Thursday January 16 2014
I bought a speaker, Sound Kick SFQ-04, to play the ultrasonic track during the night. I slept with the headphones in again, Ocean, and can remember no dreams.
Also finished reading Double Your Dating. Not too bad, I liked How To Become An Alpha Male More. I'm definitely all about natural/or inner game. I don't wanna have to be in-character or think about what I'm saying/doing. I just want to be naturally attractive to women. That's why DYD sort of turned me off; I just don't quite see myself doing all that yet. I need to internalize it…but I'd rather internalize being an alpha male first.
And I think I'm finally getting over my ex-girlfriend. I see her around the house, and I really just don't care anymore. Of course it still sucks sometimes doing things alone, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of my life and trying to forget about the past and everything I've messed up, because I know I can't change that. I can only change the future.
I've decided to not put up my whole journal from when I started AM6 because it's pretty long and no one cares and it's not worth reading. I'm only going to post the most important parts.
------------------------------------------------
Tuesday Decmeber 31st 2013
I'm also reading the How to Become an Alpha Male book that's recommended in the instructions. I copied this out of the book…it definitely describes me with Steph.
*****************
"(And by the way, if a woman comes onto you who's in a relationship, mark my words... if she doesn't have sex with you, then she'll find some other guy to hook up with and satisfy her carnal desires. Her current boyfriend is unsatisfying to her or else she wouldn't be flirting with other guys.)"
*****************
I would barely initiate sex with her. We never had it, it was terrible.
Another great (large) quote from the book.
*****************
Nice guys also have issues with jealousy, born out of their insecurity. They are too outwardly-dependent; all their happiness comes from the woman. They don’t want her talking to other guys for fear she’ll run off and he’ll lose his source of happiness.
You see, the problem with the feelings of jealousy that so many beta males have about their women is that it comes from a position of neediness. So whenever you feel that way with a girl, suck it up and let those feeling go.
When a girl detects a guy is jealous, it's as if he's saying to her, "Hey, I feel inferior to those other dudes you're talking to."
And having that lack of confidence in yourself makes the chick not feel so confident in you, either. She begins to wonder whether the grass is greener in other pastures.
I know it's tough to not feel jealous, but look at it this way: if you knew that you were the shit and that you can attract hot babes and get laid easily, would you care that your girl is going off and talking with some other guys? Of course not, because that would be her loss (and you could just get laid from some other chick)!
****************
Exactly how I feel/felt.
----------------------------
Saturday January 4 2014
I made Steph breakfast this morning. I enjoy doing it, I just wish I was cooking for my girlfriend. If I had been like this for the past two years, things would be very different, and better. Blake Shelton's song Maybe She Wouldn't Be Gone perfectly describes our relationship. I never realized or knew what that song meant until she left me.
The big story of the day is that I finally did what I've been wanting to do for years. I called, in order, my dad (he was the hardest to do this for), my mom but had to leave a message (I've already told this to her though so it's not so bad), my grandma, my sister, and my brother. I told them all that I love them. I haven't told them, except my mom, that I love them in years, and I do see them multiple times per year. I cried so hard and for so long after I talked to my dad. It feels good to have finally done that.
--------------------------
Tuesday January 7 2014
Had my first dream in weeks that I can actually remember. I was trapped in a building, somehow escaped, and was on the run from people (children actually) trying to catch me to take me back. I was running through and hiding in the woods of my elementary school. Eventually when I ran far enough I found out it was a Blink-182 music video. WTF!? What's My Age Again? Maybe it's me trying to grow up?
---------------------------
Sunday January 12 2014
Went out with the friends last night. Approached and talked to two black girls. Never thought I would ever have done something like that. No phone number or anything; I'm not even looking for that. I'm just proud of myself for at least walking over there and talking to them. Maybe because I'm still heartbroken and don't even wanna bring a girl home, it makes talking to them easier lol. I also didn't get anything done on my to-do list this weekend, but I got other stuff done. Oh well.
-------------------------
Monday January 13 2014
I don't dream, or just can't remember them, when I sleep with the headphones in. I wake up at like 5am and take them off. So when I did that, I had my first sex dream in a very very long time. It was awesome. It was sort of like a James Bond thing. Felt like crap today too (maybe didn't get enough sleep) but still worked out. Wish I had this drive and motivation the past 4 years of my life. What a waste. From here on out, this is how I want and should be like.
------------------
Wednesday January 15 2014
Steph told me one of the big reasons she broke up with me is because I'm bad at sex. I know she's right, I'm surely hoping AM6 will help with that. But holy god does that hurt and cut me deep, especially because she told me her new guy made her squirt. I always wanted to be able to do that. This is really making me depressed.
------------------
Thursday January 16 2014
I bought a speaker, Sound Kick SFQ-04, to play the ultrasonic track during the night. I slept with the headphones in again, Ocean, and can remember no dreams.
Also finished reading Double Your Dating. Not too bad, I liked How To Become An Alpha Male More. I'm definitely all about natural/or inner game. I don't wanna have to be in-character or think about what I'm saying/doing. I just want to be naturally attractive to women. That's why DYD sort of turned me off; I just don't quite see myself doing all that yet. I need to internalize it…but I'd rather internalize being an alpha male first.
