Darwin 2014 - The Alpha Year

[SargeMaximus]

So, stage 5 has been different to say the least, I've definitely noticed women responding to me better if not everyone.

The tapping guides posted up helped a lot to get me tapping again, mainly by removing the perfectionism, now I just do the tapping not worrying about the outcome or whether it's being done right.

It's likely that I'll do another run now of am6. I don't really want to - the new base would sit better with my current goals and the fact that I'm setting up a business. But Am6 just seems to be doubly required to solidify the foundation before moving on.


The added attention from women made me realise just how much I'm
Missing ok that side if things - I wonder if sm3 would be better than a re run of am6 to both become more alpha and improve that side of life too!

In my opinion, if you have issues with sex/women, SM MUST be used to balance yourself out. Think about it: an entire aspect of life is left out by not dealing with it. For me, that's why I'm doing SM next regardless of wanting to use AM 6 again. I just know it'll force me to deal with some huge issues that are affecting my overall success and health.

Don't know if it's the same for you, but that's what I'm doing.

[Darwinn]

It is a big issue, one that I've been ignoring and really need to handle. I just wonder whether sm3 will bolster the positive things I'm doing with my life such as going to the gym and setting up
My business/improving at work or whether it will take away from all of that and make me super focused on sex!

[SargeMaximus]

It is a big issue, one that I've been ignoring and really need to handle. I just wonder whether sm3 will bolster the positive things I'm doing with my life such as going to the gym and setting up
My business/improving at work or whether it will take away from all of that and make me super focused on sex!

From what I've gathered, it kinda makes you focus on yourself more than anything. Like, when Alfaz was going through it, he mentioned his productivity at work was increased.

[Darwinn]

Still not sure - but thinking about it sm3 is more likely because it's the area of life I put off dealing with more than any other!

Did a lot if tapping last night before going to sleep and had the longest night of dreams ever, as I was tapping I had all sorts of things coming up, yawning, tearing up and kept going.

Lying in bed I was dozing and my mind was going to all these events in my life, being bullied, ridiculed, shouted at and slapped around - I didn't realise how much was there! I tapped it all, there's a lot more but last night was real progress - at one point I'm pretty sure I was mentally tapping in the middle if a dream.

Anyway let's see what this next few weeks being with a month and a half of am6 left.

On general effects, I went out the other night to see some old friends I haven't seen in a while, a few of them are fairly alpha and they were totally ignoring me. I didn't bother with them and left early rather than waste time trying to be part of the group. It angered me though and sent me into one of those 'I'll show em' sort of spirals of anger - the thought came that I need more of this though, I need more challenge, more uncomfortable situations to weed out all the built up weakness.

I started tapping on it and haven't thought about it since.

Girls are generally being more feminine and sometimes even motherly to me, one girl the other day made me coffee for no reason - she kept saying we should go get a drink some time and when I suggested we go to this place after work she backed off like she was afraid.

Other girls say wierd things 'I need you to protect me because [insert random statement]', 'I'm sensitive because [another random statement]

Mostly I'm indifferent but this one girl - first girl in a while who I've been into, worries me. It's just oneitis because I haven't had much success - but I gotta do some serious tapping before I get hung up on her!

Anyway. The saga continues

[Darwinn]

A week ago i went out for the first time in a long time with people i didn't know too well - it was pretty harsh, alot of them ignored me and i felt terrible after - after tapping i got rid of any underlying pains and last night i went out again with the same people.

It was much better, I was more chill, still pretty awkward, but i didn't let it mess me up. I'm accepting the way i am a lot, and that means accepting that i'm awkward as fuck some times. but who cares! My attitude to pain and emotional discomfort is like...i feel terrible, i need to master this feeling by doing more of whatever is making me feel terrible, and i can master it by being present and tapping.

[Darwinn]

Noticing I'm much more standoffish. I was driving the other day with someone trying to over take me - it was some construction worker in a big truck, who was coming up behind me and beeping, i see he was shouting and freaking out in my rear view mirror. I made a point of rolling down my window and asking him if there was a problem (I have never done anything like this before in my life -I'm never one to be aggressive, but i smiled as i said it as I wasn't going to create an unnecessary problem by initiating with anger) and he just backed down and said - no no problem, have a nice day.

There is so much negativity around me from friends mostly, i have to detach even from the hardest cases. It's no longer my responsibility to rescue people.

The positive attention i was receiving from women seems to be gone and the world seems largely indifferent to my existence. I don't mind though. I have my own life to lead and i don't need anyones attention.

Generally facing some resistence, When I make a mistake, or i feel like someone is performing bette rthan me, I just get really angry, and a little stuck - it's like i want to do the things to take me to the next level but at the same time i'm not allowing myself to get there for some reason. Hopefully a session of tapping this evening will help - i'm tempted to just go home early now and spend the evening doing a long tapping session.

I think one of the big problems is as well that i have just too many goals. even in deciding what to do next - I want to do SM, AM6 re run and BASE at the same damn time. Perhaps thats what i need, patience, getting back to being involved in the process and not trying to skiip to the end immediately.

Am I more alpha? probably, I'm certainly more detached from things - and looking more to take on challenges. I just need to understand that progress is a process. You do one or two things at a time and then move on.

[SargeMaximus]

Wow, this is reminding me of all sorts of things.

Standoff-ish, definitely these days. Like a plague.

I also had a guy in a truck behind me freak out a few weeks back, then he sped up till he was beside me, I looked at him and he looked at me, then kept driving. I didn't have the desire or the balls to ask him what the problem was though lol.

I'm also relatively ignored these days. By groups that is. When there is a gathering of people, I'm ignored. Today for example, there was a meeting, and I waved at a guy I usually have some good conversations with. He ignored me. Later in the day, I sensed something, looked out the window and saw him staring at me. He then waved, and I waved back. It's almost like people are too embarrassed to have me as part of the group, or I'm one closely guarded secret, but one on one they definitely treat me differently.

I assume it's poor social skills for me.

Perfectionism: definitely, yes. So much so that it's a little intimidating, to me and to others.

And yeah, too many goals. For me, it's just too much to do. I have multiple debts to pay off, I also want to start investing to get some passive income, AND I'm re-organizing my entire life by getting rid of EVERYTHING that I don't need so that I can be a room-mate to someone and save more money and pay off my debts/start investing FASTER.

Sorry for the long post, but it seemed relevant.

[Darwinn]

Last night of stage five - this stage much more positive than the others.

Feeling of resilience , as though a lot can and will happen to me, the highs and lows aren't so important as the growth and the journey.

Women at first were much more responsive to me, id catch them just staring at me.

Generally calmer - things that piss me off really should piss me off, things that should get me down do but I come back and try and do something about it.


I'm gonna have to do this whole damn thing again - though I'm dying to move on to sm3 or the new base - I have more work to do with this sub.

I'm scared though - as if there isn't enough time. I'm approaching 30 very soon and I've not lived nearly the life I wished I had - someone told me that by the time you're 35 it's basically over for growth and change , and that much of your personality is inalterable after around 28 - I'm going to have to refute this. I'm late to the game so I realise I'm gonna have to play harder than anyone else in order to move ahead.


Sarge, honestly when I read what you
Write I see my experiences almost identically explained - social skills are an issue for me in the same way as you for instance.

Pre sleep rant over

Darwin out

[SargeMaximus]

I'm scared though - as if there isn't enough time. I'm approaching 30 very soon and I've not lived nearly the life I wished I had - someone told me that by the time you're 35 it's basically over for growth and change , and that much of your personality is inalterable after around 28 - I'm going to have to refute this. I'm late to the game so I realise I'm gonna have to play harder than anyone else in order to move ahead.

I've had the same fear, but it's bullsh*t. Just today, some new guy to our site was hitting off with me REALLY well. Could have added him to facebook easy. Besides, I'm betting people that believe that stuff (or the people that statistic is based on) are average people who go with what life gives them.

[adam225]

^^^ Who ever came out with that bull shit about growth, change and personality needs shooting. It's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. It's beyond laughable. As long as you're alive you can ALWAYS improve. You're personality isn't fixed, it's in constant change like everything else in the universe. It's guiding it in the right direction that's important.

[swisston]

I'm scared though - as if there isn't enough time. I'm approaching 30 very soon and I've not lived nearly the life I wished I had - someone told me that by the time you're 35 it's basically over for growth and change , and that much of your personality is inalterable after around 28 - I'm going to have to refute this. I'm late to the game so I realise I'm gonna have to play harder than anyone else in order to move ahead.

I am 39 and have changed remarkably for the better over the last couple of years, especially in the last few months of doing AM.

If anything, it is easier to change later in life because you are much more aware of the kind of person that you want to be and less worried about trying to conform to what you think people expect of you.

[jonathan4all]

I'm scared though - as if there isn't enough time. I'm approaching 30 very soon and I've not lived nearly the life I wished I had - someone told me that by the time you're 35 it's basically over for growth and change , and that much of your personality is inalterable after around 28 - I'm going to have to refute this. I'm late to the game so I realise I'm gonna have to play harder than anyone else in order to move ahead.

I am 39 and have changed remarkably for the better over the last couple of years, especially in the last few months of doing AM.

If anything, it is easier to change later in life because you are much more aware of the kind of person that you want to be and less worried about trying to conform to what you think people expect of you.

Well said Swisston... The choice to have a great attitude is something nobody or no circumstance can take from you it's always there .. Chin up and stay motivated .. all hail to those who have hope of flame in heart.

[Darwinn]

You guys are awesome. I agree - when I said someone that someone was owen aka tyler durden of rsd on his you tube channel - it was one of his rants and it messed with my head a little but I'm over it. Sorry for saying someone told me, I didn't want to say it was an rsd video at the time. [/b]

Stage 6 starts today, the sealer of the deal. The deal is not completed though so I would like to just start from stage 1 again so that I can have my second run done by the end of the year and then I can truly call this the alpha year.


But there's probably some consequence to that like I'll manifest a third nut or something so I'll hold off!




[b]

I'm scared though - as if there isn't enough time. I'm approaching 30 very soon and I've not lived nearly the life I wished I had - someone told me that by the time you're 35 it's basically over for growth and change , and that much of your personality is inalterable after around 28 - I'm going to have to refute this. I'm late to the game so I realise I'm gonna have to play harder than anyone else in order to move ahead.

I am 39 and have changed remarkably for the better over the last couple of years, especially in the last few months of doing AM.

If anything, it is easier to change later in life because you are much more aware of the kind of person that you want to be and less worried about trying to conform to what you think people expect of you.

Well said Swisston... The choice to have a great attitude is something nobody or no circumstance can take from you it's always there .. Chin up and stay motivated .. all hail to those who have hope of flame in heart.

[SargeMaximus]

Woah, you want to re-do AM but you also want to STOP yourself from getting better? I'm confused! Myself, I'm ENJOYING the drunken power/calm-chilled steadiness that AM has brought me, but want MORE. Can never have too much, I say. Although I WAS wondering today if you can overdose on sex or not. >>