01-28-2022, 11:19 PM
Day 4 - Jan 28
My ex texted me. He has reached out multiple times and he reached out a little bit before DMSI 3.5 and I wonder if it was TID because we didn’t speak for a while. I don’t think it’s the sub because I don’t want to have sex with him or see him to be honest.
He basically asked me to come see him and he is in a whole other state. Now he is saying he’s gonna drive up to see me instead.
I really would love if no one else from my past pops up again.
There’s a guy I’ve been hooked on now for months and I finally got the urge today to remove him from everything and it feels so freeing.
Hungrier than usual. Time is moving incredibly slow. Don’t know why I thought tomorrow was Sunday, and was so adamant about it then I realized it’s still Friday.
- I honestly feel really disgusted with myself. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m noticing flaws about myself that I’ve ignored the past 2-3 years and just have allowed myself to become complacent. Almost feel a sense of panic as if I’m running out of time .. even thought I’m so young and have plenty of time to work in myself, I feel like I’m suffocating. I’m sure some understand this feeling. I wonder if the subs are bringing up these feelings. But the flaws I’m noticing are modifiable flaws. I honestly don’t even know what this feeling is, as I’ve never ever felt this way before about myself and I’m not one to ever talk bad myself especially on the Internet to strangers.
- I’m barely able to sleep, it’s now 3 am, in the last entry I wrote 2 am or something like that and technically it should’ve been in this entry but I thought I would’ve fallen asleep by now. I’ve never stayed up this much or not been soo tired especially if I didn’t take a nap.
- Anyways, I have some goals I have to do. Ans this feeling of disgust is something I can’t shake and it’s very uncomfortable. I have to do something about it later today. I think I’m going to work out and start planning to go to the gym. I also bought healthy groceries and going to cook something decent. And do my skin care, I don’t have any acne but the texture isn’t the best. I’ll also schedule my wax appointment. Okay I’m rambling now.
- I don’t remember trickling stream being this annoying lol
- So I fell asleep unknowingly and didn’t play any of the sub lol
- Went back to sleep and played the sub, woke up saw that it stopped and it just continued like this. I don’t know what’s going on. Then I noticed I was like at 11 clicks instead of 14.
- I’m going to listen to the remaining loops while awake now today.
- Anyways going to use the newfound energy I have all of a sudden and just be more productive in general.
My ex texted me. He has reached out multiple times and he reached out a little bit before DMSI 3.5 and I wonder if it was TID because we didn’t speak for a while. I don’t think it’s the sub because I don’t want to have sex with him or see him to be honest.
He basically asked me to come see him and he is in a whole other state. Now he is saying he’s gonna drive up to see me instead.
I really would love if no one else from my past pops up again.
There’s a guy I’ve been hooked on now for months and I finally got the urge today to remove him from everything and it feels so freeing.
Hungrier than usual. Time is moving incredibly slow. Don’t know why I thought tomorrow was Sunday, and was so adamant about it then I realized it’s still Friday.
