12-14-2018, 04:08 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-14-2018, 09:35 PM by Shadow2200.)
Day 8
(mourning)
listened to my 5 loops again. I had been on break last 2 days. Dancer been quiet I made a joke how she looks good in her new coat, and no response this time. Oh well,
Today maybe work on unloading the ruvk at my job. My primary job at the moment. I do get a kick out of the effect the sub is having on married women and girls with boy friends. Even though taken many times still attracted. Mainly only no effect from girls that are happy taken
Today there was no truck so just helped put items away. This new job pretty laid back in compared to the old one. Most of my shift I usual work in the backroom unloading and prepping items to go out on her sale floor.today main boss girl was impressed with how well the people received me as I was handing out candy. I was getting smiles and attention from all comers. Did that for a while before girls in the salon came and helped out and took over.
Later had lunch dancer and we talked a bit today she,s helping her boss with a promotion they doing and with donations. She,all be recording the event from the news station so of course I,all be watching. Did see it and it was only like a minute or 2 long, so wasn't much to it.
Been flirting around with my female coworkers a lot more There is this one black girl that seems to be get her self in place ether where I can see her all the time or responds to me regardless of what. There's a bout 2-3 of them that show very promising results as far as flirting goes. Also taking the account that I pretty much just met them so off to a great start. In a nutshell because of the anti-fear mod I just feel more comfortable pushing things a bit more then I've ever been. Like it would feel the fear for a moment but it's much reduced to the point it's ok that I try something new. Just being much less concerned about what others are things had made a big difference or me being ok with girls getting close to me and being comfortable with is also big change. This happens all the time in work environment as far. Which as been my main testing area as well as the few relationships I do have.
(afternoon)
I will say at work I was walking around 2 a fore doing various things putting out items. It was busy today lots of people and I was liking around with my trainer, a older nice guy lots of experience and he flirts around with the girls cause he knows them so well. I was looking at this and I was walking along saying hi to every customer and he said nothing cause he's less of a people person that's why he works in the back. As I was walking around in the store everyone customers employees bosses, all looking at me ether smiling and happy o see me in some way. In short for the first time in a long time I started to feel like a celebrity. I was sitting back and noticing this and this was just like my normal away of being. I'm thinking I could get used to this. Cause as I was testing this celebrity effect that even when I said hi to somebody and they didn't respond back, I really could careless at all but even when they didn't say hi back they always noticed me in one way or another and that was stunning. Cause before even on 3.2 I would get noticed but it be a quick glance kind of thing, yes it was good but this is more so, stronger and the larger area of effect. As well as generally they put in more effort in responding wither they have a boy friend or not this effect happens and is something I'm still testing. I will say at least for now I think they are more open to me doing something to make it happen. I on the another had am waiting on them to act, but with the fear leasing I having less of issue at least saying hi to them.
I was helping some cougar girl out with some heavy cookers and stuff doing what I can do to help. She was like making lots of conversation etc. I've helped out lot's people before at my old job so nothing new. This time was getting a sexual vibe form her as I loading up her stuff, unsure where that came from. Some of it was do even though I had loaded her up she just keep standing, lingering by me expecting me to do something. The vibe I was getting was sexual. Nothing happened cause I thought might not be good if something did happen with this cougar girl which clearly seemed like she wanted something to. So even though nothing happen the thought of something might at least came up as a possibility. And I dought if I ever could recall that ever happening in dozens of carry outs
Very strange.
Latter after work was out waiting to catch the bus, had a pretty black girl out getting off work also. Normally I would of just said nothing or ignored her. This time felt different and I almost instantly said hi, asked her few questions to try to get some conversation going. Very unusual for me, just felt natural. We got on the bus together and she was so called on her phone and I had already sat down, she totally bumped/ran into me. I was like really that's don't happen ever. After that I did try to make a little more conversation with her, but since she was on her phone so much I decided to let it go at that. That whole interaction was like a pushing of my comfort zone to say the least and I effortless did what I haven't been able to do for years on the program just saying hi, and having a basic conversation. Great stuff.
(evening)
Was bored, dancer was busy doing hair so I'll have talk with her tomorrow. I haven't heard from singer girl in a while so I tried her she was unavailable. As I was saying to the purpose ultimately is to replace people that are no good, that are unavailable when I need them. Although I'm making massive progressive with fear I still a ways tog before I got something lined up all the time as far as something going on. I should be getting invited to things, out to places etc, and I will am. Just building from the ground up. Trust me things are going to be a lot different than they have been
(mourning)
listened to my 5 loops again. I had been on break last 2 days. Dancer been quiet I made a joke how she looks good in her new coat, and no response this time. Oh well,
Today maybe work on unloading the ruvk at my job. My primary job at the moment. I do get a kick out of the effect the sub is having on married women and girls with boy friends. Even though taken many times still attracted. Mainly only no effect from girls that are happy taken
Today there was no truck so just helped put items away. This new job pretty laid back in compared to the old one. Most of my shift I usual work in the backroom unloading and prepping items to go out on her sale floor.today main boss girl was impressed with how well the people received me as I was handing out candy. I was getting smiles and attention from all comers. Did that for a while before girls in the salon came and helped out and took over.
Later had lunch dancer and we talked a bit today she,s helping her boss with a promotion they doing and with donations. She,all be recording the event from the news station so of course I,all be watching. Did see it and it was only like a minute or 2 long, so wasn't much to it.
Been flirting around with my female coworkers a lot more There is this one black girl that seems to be get her self in place ether where I can see her all the time or responds to me regardless of what. There's a bout 2-3 of them that show very promising results as far as flirting goes. Also taking the account that I pretty much just met them so off to a great start. In a nutshell because of the anti-fear mod I just feel more comfortable pushing things a bit more then I've ever been. Like it would feel the fear for a moment but it's much reduced to the point it's ok that I try something new. Just being much less concerned about what others are things had made a big difference or me being ok with girls getting close to me and being comfortable with is also big change. This happens all the time in work environment as far. Which as been my main testing area as well as the few relationships I do have.
(afternoon)
I will say at work I was walking around 2 a fore doing various things putting out items. It was busy today lots of people and I was liking around with my trainer, a older nice guy lots of experience and he flirts around with the girls cause he knows them so well. I was looking at this and I was walking along saying hi to every customer and he said nothing cause he's less of a people person that's why he works in the back. As I was walking around in the store everyone customers employees bosses, all looking at me ether smiling and happy o see me in some way. In short for the first time in a long time I started to feel like a celebrity. I was sitting back and noticing this and this was just like my normal away of being. I'm thinking I could get used to this. Cause as I was testing this celebrity effect that even when I said hi to somebody and they didn't respond back, I really could careless at all but even when they didn't say hi back they always noticed me in one way or another and that was stunning. Cause before even on 3.2 I would get noticed but it be a quick glance kind of thing, yes it was good but this is more so, stronger and the larger area of effect. As well as generally they put in more effort in responding wither they have a boy friend or not this effect happens and is something I'm still testing. I will say at least for now I think they are more open to me doing something to make it happen. I on the another had am waiting on them to act, but with the fear leasing I having less of issue at least saying hi to them.
I was helping some cougar girl out with some heavy cookers and stuff doing what I can do to help. She was like making lots of conversation etc. I've helped out lot's people before at my old job so nothing new. This time was getting a sexual vibe form her as I loading up her stuff, unsure where that came from. Some of it was do even though I had loaded her up she just keep standing, lingering by me expecting me to do something. The vibe I was getting was sexual. Nothing happened cause I thought might not be good if something did happen with this cougar girl which clearly seemed like she wanted something to. So even though nothing happen the thought of something might at least came up as a possibility. And I dought if I ever could recall that ever happening in dozens of carry outs
Very strange.
Latter after work was out waiting to catch the bus, had a pretty black girl out getting off work also. Normally I would of just said nothing or ignored her. This time felt different and I almost instantly said hi, asked her few questions to try to get some conversation going. Very unusual for me, just felt natural. We got on the bus together and she was so called on her phone and I had already sat down, she totally bumped/ran into me. I was like really that's don't happen ever. After that I did try to make a little more conversation with her, but since she was on her phone so much I decided to let it go at that. That whole interaction was like a pushing of my comfort zone to say the least and I effortless did what I haven't been able to do for years on the program just saying hi, and having a basic conversation. Great stuff.
(evening)
Was bored, dancer was busy doing hair so I'll have talk with her tomorrow. I haven't heard from singer girl in a while so I tried her she was unavailable. As I was saying to the purpose ultimately is to replace people that are no good, that are unavailable when I need them. Although I'm making massive progressive with fear I still a ways tog before I got something lined up all the time as far as something going on. I should be getting invited to things, out to places etc, and I will am. Just building from the ground up. Trust me things are going to be a lot different than they have been
