DMSI 3.3.2 - of becoming and being a G

[Kol]

Fuaaaarkkk

Tfw feelin good brah
Im happy
Fun
Enjoying life

Rip festival
Be where the fun is at
Be the life of the party

We all gonna make it brah.

[Kol]

It all comes diwn to fear. We know that, I know understand it full circle.

Had a dream last night in which I was at an event. I was tristan tate. This girl came up to me, and said to me "come with me, you have to meet someone"
I flipped the script on her and told her "you go out, go find the person, and bring the person to me" giving her a task. She co-operated with that, and she followed up with my directtions, while I was just in my element.

Also, fear gives me restlessness, like fire in my base chakra. Its really uncomfortable.

As I write this at the parkinglot in front of the gym, these 2 girls are chatting on my left. The blond keeps glancing at me. Im done with fear and hesitation and lack of agressiveness.

Time to get the test levels up now.

[Kol]

Alright, time to get back on DMSI. November 14th first night starting now.

Im seeing things in a whole new light now. More..levelheaded regarding fears. For me its pure internal fear. Thats all there is. Not the girls or anything,, it all comes down to within. The rest is gucci. Its all a consequence. As within, so without.

So,now im running my first loop, and DMSI kicks already in like a hammer. It gets to work instantly.

Ive had numerous occassions that I wanted to run OF 5.75, as a way to go direct into fear itself, due to my conclusion of my issues. Selfbelief, selfesteem, etc, all revolving around self.

Still, the complete break, although I felt no heat after a few days, DMSI was still going. Headsnaps, people being submissive, overly apologizing, me being witty and bantering. Fear removal ( okay?) Was a factor. Ourspoken and dominant, fun, life of the party. I moved more solid atleast. Banter in the form of a coworker getting me to do stuff, to which is refused and told "you aint getting in my head" it was fun. He kept apologizing, re-assuring it was all jokes, to which I was like "bro, im all good, no worries, its all in fun spirit)

My edge is back. When im out and I notice a situation, I directly go in. Lets say, 2 girls are somewhat banyeting with eachother. I hook, take over, play, and am just playing with them. I really missed that. I used to do that when I was listening to corey skyy, which led me to make outs and just pulling women with ease. I realized this and how I forgot about it, and was like "damn bro, really? Kinda sad how I forgot my edge, my witt, my confidence"

Im feeling super chill and euphoric now ( 15 min in first loop ) running masked.

I feel things literally dissolving and melting away. I feel silky and soft like a baby. What a pimp ass baby.

Ohyeah,before I started my loops, I had the strong urge to go back unto UMS, but the difference between FRM versions got me picking DMSI. UMS as in having fears around that and wanting to yolo into bitcoin. I feel I cant fully actualize until im 100% in control of my life. 9/5 aint my thing. I need those fears gone and get it cracking. Especially now in this rona shit, the urge and drive is huge, I see no other way.

It comes to 2 things for me. Money and women. Something duke togo has coined, about that they are similar in mastery.

[Kol]

Im in my 2nd loop right now and Im having some really strong stuff going on now. Look...

Since I had my break from DMSI, I was pondering over DMSI, and how I understood it. I was worried that it would put me in a female, blue pill, choosing signal kind of role. Like, yanno, the girl approaching you, leading you to sex, etc etc,blue pill chump game. Something that is counter to masculine leading as that also spills over in other areas of life. Leading your life, grabbing it by the balls, business, women, bedroom/sex and leading in general. There is order to the nature of this all.

Now im understanding DMSI aint about that.

It makes me MSI. Maximum sexually irresistable. No-one talked about no cold approaching or anything, being a lil flower in the rain, while hoping the hot sexy girl approaches you. Thats pretty pathetic tbh. Its like a reverse waiting on prince charming or something.

Anyway, I see it now from a better perspective. Still being dominant, still leading, being in charge. Girls being sexually attracted to you in a way that will make it happen. Girls will be girls, and as a man, you still have choice and decisions. Its literally hardwired within us, as men. Its basically the high interest game, which makes design goals easy. Not the "oh, I should find a way to make that girl moar interested becuz muh design goals" no! There is no losing the girl in this shit as the game aint about the girl. It never was. She loses me. DMSI does gives an bigger edge. Im not here passively ready for the taking which was another thing. An dynamic of "earning" doesnt mean I wont bang, cuz I will, but there is tge compliance factor. The co-operation factor. She has to co-operate, fit in my world, which translates itself in all areas, including the bedroom. As I was dozing off to sleep I saw visions of the end goal of dmsi, a cobstant dealing with women like its breathing. Haremdynamic while eventually you get till the point you have to reject pussy cuz you get so much thrown at you while simultaneously dealing with female nature.

DMSI works just fine. High interest females are fun and its almost a better love story then twilight ( no...it really is, trust me, it is)

So, uh..yeah.

No more escaping. Just letting FRM doing its thing now, which is my main focus. No more extensive breaks or anything or running away.

Also; eggplant.

[Kol]

16-11-20

Confidence is way up. Im chatting everyone up now automatically, which attracts many more people in it, because im "accessable and gives people a reason. Eye locking happens outside of my control. Dmsi autopilots it all.

[Kol]

Its almost 6 pm and im incredible sleepy. Wool head, warm, hangover sensation like last night was wild/having a come down day.

My interest for cinema is back as it entices the mind. Storytelling, plots, scenes. writing. Illustration. Feelings. Emotions. Atmosphere, storytelling, setting, the mind and diving into it, creativity, details, interesting eastereggs, etc. The introduction to world of horror and cinematic experience. As a 90s guy, the era of horror and cinema is a great era. The 80s aswell. I really like that, the surrealness yet reflecting of said era's.

Meanwhile, FRM/DMSI is reviewing and working through behind the scenes and I love it. My attitude is upbeat and I really like masked. I think hybrid was to agressive tbh. Same as with ultrasonic on its own, I just dont like ultrasonic, always gets me somewhat wondering about the volume and what not + I like the tricklingstream sound. Gets me excited.

Im anticipating for a whole new life. Tons of shifts in outlook, fear and similar departments.today was a good day, great positive experiences, references and reinforcements. Cool.

[Kol]

17-11-2020

I care to much and display neediness to an almost bipolar level. When im out on the streets, I have massive levels of freedom, fungoing and what not, which is a big improvement, but neediness rears its head in other situations like at work.

Also, the more cold minded, idgaf I am, the higher freedom levels there are. It seems to link back to trauma and conditioning, so in a way its positive how this comes to light as I now have something to actually work with.

[Kol]

Tonight is my first break night. For some reason I was totally unaware I already shouldve had a break 2 daysago, so I start tonight.

I also upped the loops last 2 days to 8 loops a night, which mean 9 hours and 36 minutes of exposure to the sub masked trickling stream.

DMSI digs deeper into insecurities, and it pretty much is what it is, insecurity, lack of confidence. Im also acknowledging fears, and admit im scared when it comes to that. Im noticably more depressed and in my head, and confuses me in a way. Tho, when the snowball rolls, it effin rolls!

If breaking through means keep running DMSI, so be it. No escaping, no excuses, just run it. Knowing the glimpses I have and what not means I will break through.

[Kol]

Break day 1

Im feeling really damn good. What a difference it makes!

Also, looking back at subs like ums, whats up with seeing all runs as epic times? I really dig it. With each break and run im feeling more and more execute-y. Fun times, I love life, me, myself. There is only one of me, so Im value. Awesome. Also on the topic of socializing, pedestaling makes no sense, why base it on some chick or whatever. Neediness begone, needy vibe begone! This is huge. I notice it now. Its something subtle yet not so subtle. Women are women, no one is special. I know my worth, my value, my vibe. Non needy.
Socialize for socialize sake, rest follows. Flirting is fun. All people are icing on the cake of my amazing self. Be social just to he social. Its one big party. If attraction is there, its there. Im selffulfilled, I aint worrying. I enjoy instead of need.

I forgive myself aswell no we are at it.

[Kol]

My inner talk is way more positive aswell as consistent. DMSI the sub leading to an epic life, the sub that is an epic life. Euphoria as I write this and I feel the sub shedding and eorking.

Nopmo plays a role in this.

Life is epic man. I cannot see how I will not end up executing the script. Acceptance is a huge keyplayer and probably a paradox in terms of self development.

Also, its not about tge girl, but the hows and why's resulting in it. My how and why are huge right now. What elememts involved snd gettin solid in that.

Scanning over my very first post of this journal, and coming from ums, the whole LOA, manifestations and what not seemed to be a conditioning and mining data, processes and tools to attain ums goals. Sourcing also the more out there practices. Literally a set up dynamic, creating a metrical system and mining the data. Ums is almost like an independent data gatherer and using tons of energy to do so, to manifest and show.

Edit: I do see some people regarding ptsd and what not and am at the point of letting them all go just to skyrocket my progress. I mean, whats the deal tight? Its like riding bike without the assist wheels. Im about this huge leap anyways, nothing to hold on, kiling the fear of having no ground underneath.

Gah, this made me feel epicccc.

Another is fear of dissapointment(?)
Fear of confrontation

[Kol]

In a nutshell, basically. Gym was wild. I slowed down as I walked at the gym, everything harmonized. In set itself, it was manic, tapping into some new power that is suddenly there. Fury Reminds me strongly about the insane, manic, super buu vibe aswell as broly's vibe. Murderous but different. 

Also, manifestation is up aswell. A sense of "its always been this way, why journal about whats always been a given?" 

I move way slower. Its as if the world acknowledges me, and I feel bulletproof. I hijack conversations, like yesterday, the girl was shocked by how forward I was. I notice this trend of "idgaf who you are, how you come across, im gonna find out and just talk to you, you are a human" basically the same as "I add value to her life by approaching her, rejection means they miss out" 

Tons of "wait a minute" going on. I refuse to turn away and face it instantly. Feels like FRM is going overdrive aswell as I am appreviating myself and acknowledge my success.

Intuition is up, energy readingskills. Its data that just downloads. As in an reading it and feeling it out. Im totally free, sense of freedom and way beyond. Visualisation is also out of this world now.

Im liking posts on the forum more. Gives me a vibe of when I was just new here on the forums, during my am6 time, which pushed me into forum involvement way more.

Cool.

[Kol]

https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Shann...#pid240717

As a reference to reflect on.
I also realize I prefer to be digged in at, no sugarcoathing, as it is effective. Big change.

[Kol]

Reinstalled instagram 2 days ago with the intent of letting it work for me as an extention tool. I see lotsa ways and possibilities through intuitive setup aswell as play. Why not maximize right?

Anyway, I already have people come into my dm's like ive never been away. The currency keeps on 24/7, it never sleeps.

Now, this morning I woke up after having fear pop up yesterday, which, to me on a surface level doesnt make sense, as it is totally irrational. This morning I came to realize that I have an inferiority complex aswell as selfworth, selfbelief and what not that are playing a role in lack thereoff. I mean, I am conversating with an OG player and pimp, yet the energy through my screen is pretty much overwhelming.
.
Im gonna rip off the bandaid and go deep. It terrified me on a level this morning to come to this awareness. Fear struck me. To be real and honest with myself is my virtue. To stop lying to myself, to stop being a lil bitch. To come to hard conclusions such as dealing with women, being scared for what? Sucking with women, like what? These are some things to come to conclusions with.

Its funny as this inferiority thing came up after the gym. It became clear to me as my sense of reading people is sharpened, that many guys seem to deal with the same. It might be projection due the issue at hand surfacing, but honestly, I feel I have strucken gold in this and am dealing with tons of shit.

Its also crazy how I had the strong idea yesterday around being gay. I mean, no I aint, and in perspective I was like "nope" its almost like a mismatch going on. I mean, I am expressive and what not, artistic in a way and I dig it, but im still a straight man. AM6 worked when I ran it + ive alwas been surtounded by women since elementary school. Ive made even damn poetry for some bitch when I was 15 and such, which is funny to think about. Ive been through it all, yet my mind is stubborn and blocks for some reason, like ive lost all my progress.

Look, I am straight, im all for authenticity and what not, im not opposed to the whole idea of people being gay and such, but this came way outta left field. Ive suspected it longer, but nope, I only bang women. Might be a pmo delusion thing going on due to pmo exposure over the years and thus destroying my soul, but yeah. I do have this judgment going on around my actions and what not, which might be a teardown as it comes scross as such, similar to depression ( ding ding ding! )

Another thing is, I matter, the rest is illusion beside what I want.

[Kol]

Short update:

Im noticing more polarizing effects going on. 2 nights out of 8 done. Depression, lowkey nihilism going on, an whats tge matter, which seems to passively influence my choices, outlook, behaviour, mindset and what not, having me in some sort of passiveness on the low. If all is just meaningless, then all is. Wth.

Also, emotions are all over the place today. Feeling blue, yet also in another way, im feeling great. Its a choice, which is funny as I actually feel amazing now. I mean, 2020 is crazy, but im still an amazing guy. 2020 is lit, so will 2021 be and so was last year.

Lol, so much rejection like bsgoing on today, im desensitized, im my own man. This girl started some shit as these facemasks are now something that *cough* have to worn *cough* in certain placesover here, and I wasnt impressed. She can be a 10/10, but idgaf. My interest peak lies somewhere else.

Anyway, im unfazed, feeling good, no matter the shit storm and all these attitudes that are thrown at me will make me more redpilled, disillusioned and skillfull. It all means little.

Im also done with the bs beliefs going on inside. Its one to confront tgem, its another to wallow in em and take em for granted. All with all im pretty much making progress.