DMSI 3.1 and MLS exploration - Ascension to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)hood

[eternity]

Clearing and healing is a sub all by itself, man! You bet it takes more fuel than B.

I cannot wait for e3, whose pure purpose will be clearing. It's going to be intense. O_O. You are affecting lives at a deep inner level. Dare I say soul level? It must be gratifying if you get past the surface level crap you have to deal with from us

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I feel nauseated from whatever I'm clearing. It may or may not be related to my breakthrough from earlier, but I'm definitely in conscious acceptance of the breakthrough I experienced earlier. Either that, or I'm at the threshold between X & acceptance, where X is whatever comes before acceptance.

I can sense my subconscious trying to escape the clearing, as I feel an urge to run B, which is almost 100% due to wanting to escape the clearing. The feeling now is distinctly different than what I experienced before switching to B last time, which could have been described almost as a "run B, it'll be more effective". Although if I remember correctly, I switched to B right after I experienced crying in my sleep, so I might have tricked myself into running B last time. This time feels significantly more aware, and I'm conscious that I want to escape.

I ate some cookies to try and give the program more fuel but at this point I think the clearing just needs time. The sugar before bed thing has to stop before it gets out of control LOL.

Consciously, I'd like to instigate something to feed to my subconscious and see where that takes me. I ask myself : if I were to never have a woman in my life ever again, can I be okay with that?

At this moment I cannot say definitively yes or no. Not that the answer will affect the outcome in any way, but if there's a lingering fear of being alone for the rest of my life, that will certainly be an obstacle for the clearing to address.

Hmm, I'm quite introspective, and quite introverted at the moment. Riding the ebb and flow of emotions the clearing is bringing upon me.

It's like I'm growing so fast that my conscious mind can't keep up, and that results in feeling down. I'm not resisting, I'm clearing. And I am now consciously aware of the difference between the two, which was easily mistake able for each other before. I bet the SATT also involves auto training to heal and clear too. And if it doesn't, it would be an interesting addition to 3.1

#ramblingsofanauseateddimseeuser