06-24-2017, 07:26 PM
Day 89
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np0solnL1XY
Before I begin, the majority of this post is to highlight the incredible healing power of DMSI. Even while on version B.
So, my week of camping didn't turn out exactly as I had planned it to be, but, what did happen was pretty incredible. The week long camping trip has been a tradition that I have been doing every year for the past four years. Sitting in the woods alone and just going down to my most basic survival skills gives me a chance to disconnect from the world and get my head on straight. I pick different campgrounds based on the activities, hiking trails, and seclusion from civilization.
This year, I picked Acadia National Park's Blackwood Campgrounds. I made the reservations 5 weeks ago for an entire week.
I was due to drive out last Saturday morning, and I was going to drive the 9 hours straight to Bar Harbor, setup camp, get a meal cooked, and then head to bed for an early Sunday start.
Last Friday night I go through my final checks and print out my confirmation sheet. As I was about to put it away, I realized something didn't look right. It took me a few reads to fully grasp my reservation. It turned out, for whatever reason, that I only had two days reserved at Blackwood Campgrounds. And, those two days were Monday and Tuesday, with a check out on Wednesday.
Now, driving 9 hours for two nights of camping didn't make any sense at all. So, I looked at some last minute hotels in Portland and decided to stop by there first for two nights before heading to the campground.
I pulled into Portland on Saturday afternoon and immediately fell in love with the town. There's something about that city - it's got this punk rock grit mixed with the feeling of a shore town, that just immediately got me. There was also a bevy of beautiful, friendly, women there that just embodied this hipster vibe, without being pretentious about it.
Anyway, I did the local Portland scene - side-note, Apollo, if you're reading this, Holy Donut in Portland, amazing donuts; gave Doughnut Plant a run for their money - ate a shit ton of lobster rolls and found myself on Sunday morning touring the halls of the Portland Museum of Art.
PMA is a small museum, which makes it perfect because you don't get overwhelmed with art, and they have a pretty diverse collection. Anyway, as I made my way through the museum, I realized again how much I missed painting and drawing. Despite my best efforts over the past few months, I still couldn't get myself to pick up a brush or even sketch anything.
As I made my way through the museums gift shop, I literally walked into a section where they had sketchbooks and graphite pencils. I stood there for a long time looking at the sketchpad, with a thousand different things going through my head, and then I picked it up and a graphite pencil and made the purchase.
I went back to my hotel room, sat down for a few minutes, looked at the empty sheets of paper and realized it was time.
It's been nearly 18 years since I last sketched something, let alone painted. I did two sketches that day. In the process, I literally felt something unravel from within me in an amazing way. I can't explain in words what happened to me as I sketched again, but, so many things in my head suddenly made sense again.
I realized how much of me was suppressed these past almost 18 years, since I stopped pursuing my passion. And, honestly, when I look back at it now as I'm writing this, all the things that had to have happened to land me in Portland, my reservations being screwed up, seeing the trip through anyway, and going to the PMA, all resulted in me picking up the pencil and drawing again.
I kind of feel like my entire energy flow changed and it made what happened over the next few days even more incredible.
On Monday I ended up at the camp site and spent the next two nights camping. I also traveled around Acadia National Park, seeing the sites. On Wednesday I met another group who were in town, staying in Bar Harbor and also sightseeing across Acadia. We got to talking. I felt an immediate connection to one of the girls in the group, and I was planning on heading back Wednesday night, but the group had just gotten into town and I figured f*ck it, there were a lot of vacancies in town as the tourist season hadn't officially kicked off yet, and so I reserved a hotel room for two more nights and hung out with them. We went to one of the lobster shacks neighboring Bar Harbor and had dinner together. While I engaged the group, I found myself really connecting with the girl. By the end of the night, the girl and I made plans to spend Thursday together.
Thursday she and I spent just hanging around locally downtown, looking at all the small shops, we tried out lobster ice cream - it's as bad as it sounds - and then that evening we drove up to Cadillac Mountain to watch the sunset and we stayed to star gaze for a while also.
By the end of the night I was exhausted; I asked her if she wanted to come back to my room. She was hesitant at first, but I told her we'd just be sleeping. And that's all we did Thursday night. She curled up next to me, we made out, but I was honestly so physically exhausted from the hiking, camping, driving and running around all day with her, that all I really wanted that night was a warm body to lay down next to.
Friday morning we had breakfast early, and then I dropped her off at her hotel and I drove back to NY. On the way back into the city, I called K and asked her for a small favor. I told her to pick up some art supplies for me and asked her to meet me at my place.
She picked up the supplies and a late dinner for us, we caught up for a bit, and then as she was leaving I grabbed her hand and pulled her close to me. She and I spent most of the night making up for lost time it felt like.
The sex was different. Intense, but also more communicative, mutually shared, I don't know how to explain it, expressive maybe. Just like my loops of DMSI have gotten deeper, so have my connections with women.
There was something about my time with the girl on Thursday night and even K last night - everything was just open and free, not bogged down by anything. It was just enjoying the moment.
There were so many other things that happened over the week, so many connections I made with women while in Portland, so many beautiful things that I saw, amazing food that I ate.
While I was out touring Acadia, and saw the amazing scenery, I thought of how much RT and Strangelove would appreciate the views.
RT, Strangelove - Acadia is somewhere you both have to go and see. It's amazingly beautiful, and beautifully amazing. You'll both love it...
It was an unreal week for me.
When I look back at how much DMSI has changed me, how much it's shaped me over the past 10 months - it's incredible to me.
Most of all, I probably never would have ever sketched again, if it were not for the healing in DMSI.
That horizon just gets closer and closer...
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np0solnL1XY
Before I begin, the majority of this post is to highlight the incredible healing power of DMSI. Even while on version B.
So, my week of camping didn't turn out exactly as I had planned it to be, but, what did happen was pretty incredible. The week long camping trip has been a tradition that I have been doing every year for the past four years. Sitting in the woods alone and just going down to my most basic survival skills gives me a chance to disconnect from the world and get my head on straight. I pick different campgrounds based on the activities, hiking trails, and seclusion from civilization.
This year, I picked Acadia National Park's Blackwood Campgrounds. I made the reservations 5 weeks ago for an entire week.
I was due to drive out last Saturday morning, and I was going to drive the 9 hours straight to Bar Harbor, setup camp, get a meal cooked, and then head to bed for an early Sunday start.
Last Friday night I go through my final checks and print out my confirmation sheet. As I was about to put it away, I realized something didn't look right. It took me a few reads to fully grasp my reservation. It turned out, for whatever reason, that I only had two days reserved at Blackwood Campgrounds. And, those two days were Monday and Tuesday, with a check out on Wednesday.
Now, driving 9 hours for two nights of camping didn't make any sense at all. So, I looked at some last minute hotels in Portland and decided to stop by there first for two nights before heading to the campground.
I pulled into Portland on Saturday afternoon and immediately fell in love with the town. There's something about that city - it's got this punk rock grit mixed with the feeling of a shore town, that just immediately got me. There was also a bevy of beautiful, friendly, women there that just embodied this hipster vibe, without being pretentious about it.
Anyway, I did the local Portland scene - side-note, Apollo, if you're reading this, Holy Donut in Portland, amazing donuts; gave Doughnut Plant a run for their money - ate a shit ton of lobster rolls and found myself on Sunday morning touring the halls of the Portland Museum of Art.
PMA is a small museum, which makes it perfect because you don't get overwhelmed with art, and they have a pretty diverse collection. Anyway, as I made my way through the museum, I realized again how much I missed painting and drawing. Despite my best efforts over the past few months, I still couldn't get myself to pick up a brush or even sketch anything.
As I made my way through the museums gift shop, I literally walked into a section where they had sketchbooks and graphite pencils. I stood there for a long time looking at the sketchpad, with a thousand different things going through my head, and then I picked it up and a graphite pencil and made the purchase.
I went back to my hotel room, sat down for a few minutes, looked at the empty sheets of paper and realized it was time.
It's been nearly 18 years since I last sketched something, let alone painted. I did two sketches that day. In the process, I literally felt something unravel from within me in an amazing way. I can't explain in words what happened to me as I sketched again, but, so many things in my head suddenly made sense again.
I realized how much of me was suppressed these past almost 18 years, since I stopped pursuing my passion. And, honestly, when I look back at it now as I'm writing this, all the things that had to have happened to land me in Portland, my reservations being screwed up, seeing the trip through anyway, and going to the PMA, all resulted in me picking up the pencil and drawing again.
I kind of feel like my entire energy flow changed and it made what happened over the next few days even more incredible.
On Monday I ended up at the camp site and spent the next two nights camping. I also traveled around Acadia National Park, seeing the sites. On Wednesday I met another group who were in town, staying in Bar Harbor and also sightseeing across Acadia. We got to talking. I felt an immediate connection to one of the girls in the group, and I was planning on heading back Wednesday night, but the group had just gotten into town and I figured f*ck it, there were a lot of vacancies in town as the tourist season hadn't officially kicked off yet, and so I reserved a hotel room for two more nights and hung out with them. We went to one of the lobster shacks neighboring Bar Harbor and had dinner together. While I engaged the group, I found myself really connecting with the girl. By the end of the night, the girl and I made plans to spend Thursday together.
Thursday she and I spent just hanging around locally downtown, looking at all the small shops, we tried out lobster ice cream - it's as bad as it sounds - and then that evening we drove up to Cadillac Mountain to watch the sunset and we stayed to star gaze for a while also.
By the end of the night I was exhausted; I asked her if she wanted to come back to my room. She was hesitant at first, but I told her we'd just be sleeping. And that's all we did Thursday night. She curled up next to me, we made out, but I was honestly so physically exhausted from the hiking, camping, driving and running around all day with her, that all I really wanted that night was a warm body to lay down next to.
Friday morning we had breakfast early, and then I dropped her off at her hotel and I drove back to NY. On the way back into the city, I called K and asked her for a small favor. I told her to pick up some art supplies for me and asked her to meet me at my place.
She picked up the supplies and a late dinner for us, we caught up for a bit, and then as she was leaving I grabbed her hand and pulled her close to me. She and I spent most of the night making up for lost time it felt like.
The sex was different. Intense, but also more communicative, mutually shared, I don't know how to explain it, expressive maybe. Just like my loops of DMSI have gotten deeper, so have my connections with women.
There was something about my time with the girl on Thursday night and even K last night - everything was just open and free, not bogged down by anything. It was just enjoying the moment.
There were so many other things that happened over the week, so many connections I made with women while in Portland, so many beautiful things that I saw, amazing food that I ate.
While I was out touring Acadia, and saw the amazing scenery, I thought of how much RT and Strangelove would appreciate the views.
RT, Strangelove - Acadia is somewhere you both have to go and see. It's amazingly beautiful, and beautifully amazing. You'll both love it...
It was an unreal week for me.
When I look back at how much DMSI has changed me, how much it's shaped me over the past 10 months - it's incredible to me.
Most of all, I probably never would have ever sketched again, if it were not for the healing in DMSI.
That horizon just gets closer and closer...
