If what you're telling us now is the case, then X4a-1000 isn't the program for you, atleast not right now.
It's not designed to get past that deep level of baggage and fear. Nor does it pretend to do so, it even directly states that getting over these fears is not it's designed purpose on the page.. several times.
Until you deal with that then you will derail these efforts. I understand this all too well, I used to generally be sleeping with a woman until I had some full on stuff happen and it took me quite a while to get back to where i'd allow myself to be with somebody again because of the fear and trauma generated from that situation, which I won't go into detail about.
It was Universal Healing that got me there. But now there's OGSF which is likely better for this. I can't speak from personal experience of using OGSF like I can for UH though. But soon I will use it.
I also understand how shit this is! It sucks, you just want women NOW.. it's like "no fuck this, I just want sex now".
It's tempting to think that would fix everything, but it won't. Say you suddenly start getting heaps of sex but haven't healed that deeper trauma inside yourself, I can tell you from experience of when I used sex and constantly meeting new women to try to fill up that hole, it didn't make me happy. It was like I wasn't happy with my life or myself, but I was distracting myself from that with tons of sex even with women I wasn't that attracted to.
Of course this will sound like the same old cliched bullshit.. but I understand it now. I was much happier seeing 1 woman I really connect with, have sex with regularly, go places with etc than just chasing the next woman, the next woman etc. That took going through alot of shit and having no choice but to face my own internal crap and get to a certain level of healing to even attract that into my life.
Sadly that seems to be over with her as of today which I have to deal with emotionally now, but that doesn't discount that I enjoyed my time with her more than those random women I didn't give a fuck about other than just having sex with.
It's not designed to get past that deep level of baggage and fear. Nor does it pretend to do so, it even directly states that getting over these fears is not it's designed purpose on the page.. several times.
Until you deal with that then you will derail these efforts. I understand this all too well, I used to generally be sleeping with a woman until I had some full on stuff happen and it took me quite a while to get back to where i'd allow myself to be with somebody again because of the fear and trauma generated from that situation, which I won't go into detail about.
It was Universal Healing that got me there. But now there's OGSF which is likely better for this. I can't speak from personal experience of using OGSF like I can for UH though. But soon I will use it.
I also understand how shit this is! It sucks, you just want women NOW.. it's like "no fuck this, I just want sex now".
It's tempting to think that would fix everything, but it won't. Say you suddenly start getting heaps of sex but haven't healed that deeper trauma inside yourself, I can tell you from experience of when I used sex and constantly meeting new women to try to fill up that hole, it didn't make me happy. It was like I wasn't happy with my life or myself, but I was distracting myself from that with tons of sex even with women I wasn't that attracted to.
Of course this will sound like the same old cliched bullshit.. but I understand it now. I was much happier seeing 1 woman I really connect with, have sex with regularly, go places with etc than just chasing the next woman, the next woman etc. That took going through alot of shit and having no choice but to face my own internal crap and get to a certain level of healing to even attract that into my life.
Sadly that seems to be over with her as of today which I have to deal with emotionally now, but that doesn't discount that I enjoyed my time with her more than those random women I didn't give a fuck about other than just having sex with.