Concious and Unconcious effort journal

[batman]

i am one week through stage 2 so here is the quick update.

ive been staying at home forever and i dont think about women that much. all i do is work, work ,work. i dont go out in weekends because i dont have friends that i can connect to anymore. i had lots of negative friends who do drugs and they do it quite often and im not happy with this environment anymore. and right now im strugling finding new friends because i the idea of its gonna be a lot of hardwork and i rather stay at home. i told myself to stop going to clubs because the clubs is filled with bad girls and i dont want bad girls. so this past weeks i only go out to yoga class where there are many healthy good looking women. but overall since there was no interaction in my social life, i felt lonely everytime. not having someone to share feelings and experience is bad for my health.

i read ben's journal that he experience the dark side of his side on the stage 2 and i experience the same. i became a jerk at some point where i pull my middle finger to someone while im driving because he was horned me at an intersection for not driving really fast. and this thing frigthen me very much cuz the guy got angry and chase me. lol. i never done anything like this in my life, and i often visualize my self doing bad things to people who didnt respect me, and its really easy for me to feel angry these days.

well thats the quick post for my AM11 stage 2.