Clearing the Debris with EHPRA v5

[ReconGunner]

Day 178; rest day 1; cycle 26

A good day. I was in a generally lighthearted mood for most of it. The rest was "calm/positive".

A flash of anxiety later in the evening. These flashes have also been of the "anticipation/expectation" kind.

Had trouble winding down and getting to sleep. A scattershot variety of thoughts passing through my mind. Nothing negative, just stuff.

[ReconGunner]

Day 179; rest day 2; cycle 26

Quiet day. A little lighthearted, a mild flash of anxiety in the afternoon.

[ReconGunner]

Day 180; listen day 1; cycle 27

Quiet day overall.

I noticed something late in the loops. I started feeling "trapped" in my home office, like I needed to step out and couldn't, because I need to listen to the sub. Which is nonsense, because I listen to the loops on my tablet and can easily pick it up and take it with me. This isn't the first time this has happened, but I didn't recognize it before. Sounds like there's still some resistance going on.

Two months left. And work still needing to be done. I'm looking forward to the outcome.

[ReconGunner]

Day 181; listen day 2; cycle 27

Much like the day before.

When the urge to step out hit, I consciously resisted the urge. At that point, the usual headache hit - back of my head, above and behind the left ear. This lasted for about a minute.

[ReconGunner]

Day 182; listen day 3; cycle 27

Quiet day again. Slept well.

[ReconGunner]

Day 183; listen day 4; cycle 27

Quiet day. Trouble sleeping. The current job - last day is today - seems bound and determined to make me glad that I'm leaving. I don't want to burn bridges, but I'm not going to get treated like a trained animal, either.

[ReconGunner]

Day 184; listen day 5; cycle 27

Quiet day. Last day on the old job. And there's that one guy who just wants that last piece of me.

Eh, it's over. Had a good conversation/exit interview with the big boss, and parted ways professionally and with goodwill.

Had another flash of insight, this time expressed poetically.

"I have fought a million battles
In the darkness of my mind.
None have seen the light of day."

First, it's not often that I get poetic inspiration. As in years apart. Second, it's a reference to my tendency to have discussions "in advance" that never happen. That's an expression of stress and a way of boiling it off. I'd like to find a better way to handle that kind of stress.

And I've got a little under two months left on this run of E5. Potential remains.

[Frosted]

I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.

Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.

[ReconGunner]

I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.

Bingo. Same here.

Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.

Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.

[Z-Man]

I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.

Bingo. Same here.

Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.

Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.

I am so happy for you. Way to go!

[ReconGunner]

I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.

Bingo. Same here.

Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.

Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.

I am so happy for you. Way to go!

Thanks. It took longer to get through the preliminaries for this job, but it's a good move.

[ReconGunner]

Day 185; rest day 1; cycle 27

Quiet day. Got some stuff done around the house. Decompressing from the old job.

[ReconGunner]

Day 186; rest day 2; cycle 27

Much like the day before. Decompressing from the old job is happening quicker and easier than I expected.

[ncbeareatingman]

Day 186; rest day 2; cycle 27

Much like the day before. Decompressing from the old job is happening quicker and easier than I expected.

 Thats Great Man!!