Clearing the Debris with EHPRA v5

[ReconGunner]

That is typically a sign that something that has been a sticking point has been reached and the resistant parts cannot keep fighting forever.  They express hopelessness in being able to resist while they can still resist, and then when they run out of energy to, the resistance is overcome and the process continues.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the new and deeper sense of peace I have with that years-ago rejection. I felt that a few days before the sadness.

Either way, thanks for the assist in understanding what's going on.

[ReconGunner]

Day 69; listen day 1; cycle 11

Stronger anxiety at the beginning of the loop. A lesser anxiety around the beginning of loop 2.

Quiet day otherwise. The sadness, etc. of the day before was gone. Slept deeply; no dreams remembered.

[ReconGunner]

Day 70; listen day 2; cycle 11

The "double anxiety" at the beginning of each loop happened again. That may have been happening previously without me noticing it as clearly. So something at the beginning of the loop is triggering a response in my subconscious.

Otherwise quiet day. Busy at work, so that held my attention.

Very odd dream last night.

Just as I was falling asleep, I had a dream that there was another woman in bed with my wife and I, lying on the other side of the bed with my wife between me and her. My wife woke up and didn't know who she was, and neither did I. But she acted as if she belonged in the house with us, etc., and I think my kids knew who she was and were used to her being around. So not a replacement for my wife, but an addition to our home.

Like I said, odd.

[ReconGunner]

Day 71; listen day 3; cycle 11

"Double anxiety" again. Quiet day overall.

My sleep was interrupted by a work call. 15 min to resolve, but my dreams after were all work related.

[Superman]

Hi @ReconGunner,

I see you've been running it for just over two months now. How would you describe the change you experienced since starting E5?

I've only just started but I'm following a very different usage pattern

[ReconGunner]

Hi @ReconGunner,

I see you've been running it for just over two months now. How would you describe the change you experienced since starting E5?

I've only just started but I'm following a very different usage pattern

E5 has made a profound difference in only two months.

Lingering issues from my past, especially my recent past, like 5-6 years or so, were dealt with early on; one of them came back up like a second pass to finish smoothing it out was needed and applied. Some older stuff has been dealt with, too.

I think a lot of stuff that didn't break into my conscious mind has also been dealt with. I'm on a more even keel in my life, and more comfortable in my own skin, than I have ever been. I was on the phone with my mom last week, and she asked me how I was doing. When I told her I was doing well, she said "You sound better than you ever have." Moms know. No one who knows me knows I am listening to subliminals, but the difference shows.

I've said it more than once in this journal: given how the first two months have gone, I simply cannot imagine what the next six will bring. It will be good, for healing and growth. But I have no idea what it will be like beyond that.

As I said in your journal, welcome to EHPRA v5. You'll be glad you came aboard.

[ReconGunner]

Day 72; listen day 4; cycle 11

"Double anxiety". Quiet day.

Between being awakened the night before, and a regularly scheduled workout, I was pretty tired and slept deeply. All the dreams I remember were work-related, and close to factual.

[ReconGunner]

Day 73; listen day 5; cycle 11

Same anxiety pattern. A little deeper into the loops each time.

Active day. A later flash of anxiety, some time after the loops. Stronger headache once or twice, strong enough to be mildly painful. Fatigued most of the day with low motivation. I even gave some thought to backing down from 5:2 to 4:3 ratio.

On writing all this, it looks like there was some processing and resistance going on. I'll give it another cycle of 5:2 and see how it goes.

[ReconGunner]

Day 74; rest day 1; cycle 11

Quiet day on the sub front. Busy work day, relatively speaking - on call and got pinged a few times. Including one overnight, which was enough to disrupt my sleep.

[ReconGunner]

Day 75; rest day 2; cycle 11

Much like the previous day, except sleep was uninterrupted. Woke up with some head pressure.

[ReconGunner]

Day 76; listen day 1; cycle 12

The double anxiety hit at about 25-35 minutes in to each loop. A bit of noticeable head pressure here and there. Slept deeply. I remember dreaming, but no details.

[ReconGunner]

Day 77; listen day 2; cycle 12

Work disrupted the loops a bit. Basic intermittent head pressure. Dreams, but I don't remember details.

[ReconGunner]

Day 78; listen day 3; cycle 12

Today was interesting.

About a third of the way through the first loop, another bout of sadness. Not as strong as the previous one a couple of cycles back, and the effects didn't last as long. I was tired later in the day, though, and even took an early evening nap. After the nap, I was still physically tired, but my mental state was very lighthearted.

Also had scattered flashes of anxiety during the remainder of the loops. Intermittent head pressure throughout the day and evening. Dreams were all about the book I was reading in the evening, but I don't remember specifics beyond that.

[ReconGunner]

Day 79; listen day 4; cycle 12

Back to quiet, day and overnight.